Sing us a song, Old Memories
That melody brings it all back to me
We were so young in those days
The world was the field in which we played
We weren’t afraid of anything
Chancing all Lady Luck would bring
Our souls filled with fire that slowly burns
The lessons of life, we had yet to learn
And I’d give anything to bring, life back to the words you sing
Old Memories please come to me, you are all that’s left of a dream
Conjure a spell that’ll take us there
Back where the feeling was so pure
Give back what I’ve missed so much
Breathe in new life to this withered touch
I remember how the new day would sing
of the treasure’s our old friend Chance would bring
Our spirits would soar way above the sky
Make it the last feeling before I die
No one can change what we’ve exchanged, they can’t make us feel ashamed
What we’ve done and what we’ve shared, those Old Memories can’t be repaired
One day I’ll call on you old friend
To bring back the times of old again
As we talk of the things we used to know
That weak old flame will begin to glow
Brighter with each memory it’ll grow
I think to myself “How I’ve missed you so”
I keep Old Memories in my heart
Right where they’ve been from the start
And I’d give anything to bring, life back to the words you sing
Old Memories please come to me, you are all that’s left of a dream
So sing us a song Old Memories, Remind us of how things used to be.
-T.C. Downey 2002
Truth is sometimes very much like a barbed wire. There are those that can only handle it in a delicate manner. Those that don’t want anything to do with it. There are some that misjudge it’s strength and cannot appreciate it’s tendency towards eliciting pain. More so, truth, at least objective truth; is a very sinister force.
The truth is fickle and often elusive. In the same way, it is blinding and often ignored. The kind of truth I speak of is not the subjective species we’ve come to embrace. Entire religions have been built on the misapprehension of subjective truths as objective truths.
Buddhism is one such religion. To demonstrate such is as simple as “samsara”. Even if we accept the concept of cylindric life, we are still left with the subjective nature of that as truth. What I mean is, the statement of Life as a cycle of death and rebirth is not verifiable in an empirical sense. Though we can witness things being born and things dying, there is nothing empirical to create a connection between the two.
However there is a certainty in that statement. A very sinister certainty. Everything dies and if it has life it eventually meets its death. That can be verified empirically. To that understanding, I present you with the first of the Darkhorse’s Sinister Certainties.
You see certainty is not held abstractly and requires that you draw from practical experience. Praxis if you will. Certainty comes from repeatedly experiencing the same result and being able to recognize that you will in fact continue to do so. It is not an abstract concept, instead it is a glaring practical recognization.
Another of Darkhorse’s Sinister Certainties is that Everyone is slave to something. That is that everyone bends to serve something. It is by our attachments that we come to this place of servitude. Even the Buddhist monk holds attachment. Just the attachment to the idea of non-attachment should illustrate sufficiently. I know it probably looks like I’m picking on Buddhists, however that’s just not the case. One of my favorite thinkers is in fact one.
The Insidious Way brings an understanding that these attachments are better defined as influences. When correctly observed in this way, there is a recognization that you cannot be free from influence. All you can really do is choose what, how much, or simply how; you are influenced. Power is gained through learning to traffic in influence. Which brings me to another Sinister Certainty. Influence is the purest currency.
Just as you would mind your acquiring of, investing of, saving of, and spending of money; you must also mind influence in this manner. Here we come to a place where we understand that these Sinister Certainties that I have been talking about are primal influences. I choose the term primal over meta because they speak deeper than the rational mind. They speak to the very core of our being.
These statements of ominous foreshadowing are in fact terrifying to most. They boast of how easily something horrifying can unfold in front of you. You cannot hold influence over everything, but anything can hold influence over you. Which brings me to the last of the Sinister Certainties I wish to talk about tonight; Cosmically we are insignificant.
A comet does not care if you have accepted Jesus in your heart. A supernova is not concerned with your karma. For that matter, the planet Earth does not care if you can breathe.
These are not finite understandings. They are not some rigid system of supposed enlightenment. Quite the opposite, they represent the bleakness and the void. A literal Endarkenment. A disillusioning of falsities such as hope and Nirvana. I would ask my readers that have absorbed what I am putting forward to comment some other possible Sinister Certainties. This is to be done for the purpose of learning your own truths.
That’s right folks… I said pause. There is a great deal of work for me to do here, with not a lot of time available to do it. Though it isn’t evident from the surface; I have been working every single day since my return to the interwebs. I usually post up an old (or new) poem or drawing to give something to keep up awareness that I haven’t gone far. I have so much ground I want to cover, and to be honest knowing where to focus next is NOT a very easy thing to keep deciding. I try to remain organic and let what comes flow freely.
In point of fact, if you really examine anything I have created in my life, you’ll find that is a resounding theme. My dharma is my guiding light. So many times have I spoken with terms such as “aims” and “currents“. To me, these two concepts are relative to dharma. I was born into the Western world of thought and so when concepts like “path/paths” are discussed there is often a very rigid and distinct concept associated to them. Where an aim is to be pointed in an intended direction, with a particular desired endpoint in focus. A path holds a lot of the same conceptualized values as a current does, but the current doesn’t feel as constricted. So now you can kind of see where my mind goes and why this takes a great deal of work for me.
So now back to my pause. There are some extremely interesting things on my mind lately. I spend a good amount of time reading materials written by today’s O9A folks. I seem to pay the most attention to the “Wyrdsisters” lately. There is something about the writing style there that “irks” me. Almost to a point of annoyance. I am however not one to let such trivialities deter me. So I end up reading it 5 or 6 times back to back. Then I typically go down the rabbit-hole with whatever references have been given. Truth be told, I take something of value away from every post.
I suppose that, I have G.I. Gurdjieff to thank for being able to negotiate my way through this daunting writing style they have. I just wish it would get easier for me to absorb whatever is of value being discussed. Reading Gurdjieff is like listening to a knife spreading butter on the world’s driest piece of toast. He’s not alone either in this phenomenon, Aristotle has very much the same affect. Yet I have read all of both of their works. Do you want to know who else has this affect on me? Anton Long.
I’m sorry Mr. Long, but its just true. I have a really hard time reading your writings. It isn’t that, I find nothing of value; quite the opposite actually. I can even recognize that this is probably purposely done and aids in perpetuating the Labyrinth of Mythos. Still I really should express that you are among the few “living” thinkers that I am influenced by. This to me is a large compliment, because I have spent over a decade being conscious of what I will allow to hold influence over me.
Anyhow this will probably be deleted sometime soon as it really is not terribly relevant and was just a pause in the current’s flow. Kind of a mental note I’m sharing. Since I have 6 different posts in just as many states of completion and I feel like I should be putting something up for the readers.
The look of evil as times are grim,
A sign of death as we are living in sin,
The blood of my heart leaves a dark stain,
To love her, with all to lose and nothing to gain;
Close my eyes as I wait for my time,
Is killing myself such a crime?
Death from the angel is all I ask,
So leave me alone as I carry out this task;
Half way dead as I bleed on the floor,
I wait for Satan to open the door,
Life has been so deadly and wicked,
Climbing the gate so thorny and pricked;
Slow and painful is the death rate,
As I slashed my wrists on this fatal date,
This was all for a girl can’t you see,
I look to the stars, there’s no forgiveness for me;
My time was Fatal!
-T.C. Downey 1990
When I think of the Elements the first one that comes to mind is water. Water is very much like Darkhorse. It is unassuming and so often overlooked. There is an almost unnatural calming effect that so many experience in its presence. It is as if the stories of old, told of the Siren’s song, were simply a metaphor for the mesmerizing trance that the water holds. As deep as the trenches of the ocean floor go, so does this great teacher’s lessons.
In as many forms as we can find water taking; we can find an equal portion of transformations owed to it. Water is the giver of life and the unspeakable horror of the lives it has taken. On a Planetary level, it is representative of the inner mind and subconsciousness. Some of its chief hallmarks being adaptive, soothing, fluid, corrosive, expanding, and overcoming.
None can deny the power that this element holds. How quickly it can shift from a calm serenity, to a swelling chaos of certain peril. On an Earthly level, it is a perfect balance of tri-state mastery (hot-tepid-cold). Seemingly able to summon hybrid variations of these states. One would be wise to court Mercury’s companion. At the surface, it should be seen as reflective. Bearing in mind, the deeper we go the more mysteries it holds. No wonder why in Alchemy it is denoted by the downward triangle.
The Slyman works to imitate the properties of water element. Seeking to absorb the prowess and mysteriousness. Minding the great wisdoms the waters hold. Not just in seeking your own level, but in your own tri-state mastery.
To this effect, the (one of the) fundamental task(s) of the Initiate Grade of the Order of Nine Angles’ Sevenfold Path termed “Insight Role” (once referred to by Mindfux as Agency); is revered by Darkhorse as essential to development. This practice of shapeshifting is both insightful and extremely useful to our ends.
I am not sure I agree with A. Long about the duration of your first insight role being a minimum of 18 months, but perhaps there is some aspect I’m overlooking. I would tend to think a build up to that undertaking would be useful, as learning to hold a shape takes a tremendous effort. Still I am a strong proponent of the notion “if its not broken, don’t fix it” and this is definitely not broken.
SHTF Preppers (Shit-Hits-The-Fan Preppers) should be flocking by the thousands to achieve this; as this is the ultimate “Grey Man” training. Changing your appearance and being able to move in and out of different scenarios undetected is only effective in a short term event. They assume they can make it to their “bug-out” location. It is also worth mentioning that in a true SHTF situation this is reactive and not proactive. Anyway I digress.
If I have failed in any way to demonstrate the powers held by this Elemental; one needs only go to Wikipedia and search “List of water deities” and stand in awe of broad scope and antiquity of its worship. For me, being of Irish Celtic descent, its resonance echoes of a heritage I will never truly get to understand. I refuse to buy into the “neo-druid” horseshit which reeks of Crowley’s golden dawn with sprinkles of wicca and flakes of shaman spice.
As a boy my great-granddad used to tell me old folklore from our homeland. Tales of fairies, warriors, and gods were his favorite to wax. There was always a water connection. So much of a connection that my family’s coat of arms distinctly has 3 sea creatures on it.
Before I stray to far from the thrust of this writing. I wanted to glean another association to water I have made, and that is to blood (more specifically bloodlines). Obvious I guess, to most maybe, but in the same way that water can be used for dilution, it can also be used for purification. To further affect it is also key to transmutation.
The process of making crack-cocaine is one excellent example of such purification and transmutation. Three very simple ingredients when processed together can take weak powdered cocaine and make it reemerge; both hardened and more potent. This of course takes place in the first ingredient water.
During times of antiquity, a tactic was used to assimilate a conquered people (thus ensuring compliance) without necessarily totally enslaving them. To maintain “total occupation” is an extremely expensive and laborsome endeavor. By simply killing off the undesirable components (in this case the warrior caste) and inter-breeding with select components; you can create a linear-sense of loyalty and submission. Halfbreeds (with desirable traits) can then be further bred back into the desired pool. Perhaps adding a physical or mental ability not present (or perhaps weaker) before.
This is not unlike the process of making crack-cocaine. As it is a formula for the breaking down, purification, and reemergence of greater intensity; it is yet another stellar example of water’s transmutative abilities. As much as water is one the great teachers; so is it one of the great tests. Though we require it to survive; it is something of a feat to survive it. The necessity to do so is the catalyst for us to become as adaptive and persistent as water itself is.
So in closing, I will implore those of the Darkhorse to be as insidious as water is. Study it, work with it, revere it, and you will unlock the secrets bore in the depths of it. The Mother, Destroyer, Nurturer, and Sorceress that is eternal. She is worshipped throughout the history of mankind. She encourages us be silent and subtle; to be formless and adaptive; to be entrancing and yet treacherous. This writing is but a shallow gleaning of a gnosis so rich and available to any who choose to undergo it. One cannot move through water fearlessly, without knowing the depths of it. As Bruce Lee once said “Be water, my friend”.