The Evolution of a Slyman

Author Archive

Ritual 1 (a poem)

It is from this dark chamber that I call from within;
Reaching out to the void, let my workings begin;
With my ritual blade I carve a seal into the ground;
Carefully chosen elementals, incantations, and sigils are laid out;
Chalice in it’s proper place, charms and talismans in their proper state;
Deep and guttural tones as I invoke, she that is the Gate;
Striking flint above the tinder, I bring forth the first fire;
A reminder of our kinship is brought forth in my mind;
What was within is also now without, and so shall be my desire;
Each candle lit in perfect sequence, incense done in the same design;
Last syllables formed and a breath from the smoke held deep;
As I exhale, she has opened the Gate:

-T.C. Downey 2021


Nochtadh Cosmaí

The Sinister Creed

Satan in particular and the Dark Gods in general are a means to self-fulfillment and self-
understanding.

Only by journeying through the darkness within us and without can we attain self-divinity and
thus fulfil the potentiality of our existence.

Our rites, ceremonies and practices are all life-affirming, and show us the ecstasy of existence
and the self-overcoming of the true Adept.

We are feared because we defy and seek to know and thus understand. We rejoice in living: in all
its pleasures but most particularly in its possibilities. We thus extend the frontiers of evolution
while others sleep or cry.

We detest all that enervates and would rather die than submit to anyone or anything – this pride is
the pride of Satan, and Satan is a symbol of our defiance and a sign of our life-enhancing energy.
Others see our way of living and our way of dying and are afraid.

When we hate we hate openly and with arrogance, and when we love, we love with a passion to
match this arrogance: always mindful never to love anyone so much that we cannot see them die,
for death is a natural changing of energies.

We prepare – through our magick and our ways of living – for the Age of Fire (the Aeon of the
Dark Gods) which is to come, when we elitist few shall reach out toward the stars and the galaxies and the new challenges they will bring.

Our way is difficult and dangerous and is for the few who can truly defy the matrix of illusions of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ – that stifle the potentiality of our being.

What does not kill us, makes us stronger.

Codex Saerus – The Order of Nine Angles

As the world around us violently changes, I am reminded of the lobster in the boiling pot. The rich have become nothing but richer, and the poor are only poorer. The masses are so caught up in the little manufactured achievements bestowed upon them. So blinded; so stupid. Men are so emasculated and women are no longer truly venerated. Gender has become something only identified with, and is no longer celebrated or even taboo. One might think to themselves “what strides of social equality have been achieved”, but to me that begs the question; what did it cost us?

I am a person who rarely apologizes, but if any of what I am saying offends you; I am truly sorry. You see, I harbor no phobias in this topic and if it should sound as such; well tough shit, all you will get is an apology from me for it. I am all about becoming who you truly are. If this means you are something other than the once “societal standard”; by all means embrace it. Keep in mind though, I am of the old school of thought; where we do not peek over our neighbor’s fences. So when I speak on these matters, understand that I am not coming from a place of bigoted mind. The only reason, I have chosen to bring this up is, because I believe we are being robbed of something essential and this demonstrates it adequately.

What I mean is this, when I was a small child, life hit me with a series of unfortunate events. I was first stricken sick as an infant. That left me with a massive hearing loss. A short time later, my father passed away in an accident. This left my mother extremely poor and emotionally in despair. She was pregnant at the time of his passing. I went through more than several years of abuse at the hands of my step-family. Mental, physical, and sexual; its like Prego “it’s in there”. By the time I hit the ages of 11-13, my somewhat shy and self-conscious demeanor had culminated into a seemingly magnetic target for bullying. This is the part of the story, where someone should have come to my rescue, and it isn’t. No hero came, no one stuck up for me. The school didn’t care, the police gave even less of a shit.

What transpired instead was a cosmic test of mettle. You see I was born determined. Each event listed I overcame; I rose above it. By the age of 14, I knew who I truly was and nothing was going to hold me down. None of the disadvantages I inherited, would make me take a knee. I had taken on the mantra of, “Why? Because fuck you, that’s why!”. I am my own champion. A warrior within my own rite! The bullies, I bullied them. The abuse I suffered, I let it be the kindling of my internal fire. The deafness, you would have no idea it is there if I did not say so.

Understand this now, I AM NOT SPECIAL! There is nothing about me beyond my defiance and determination that made it possible to overcome. Which is what finally brings me to the impetus and thrust of this entry. “Only by journeying through the darkness within us and without can we attain self-divinity and thus fulfil the potentiality of our existence.” The Sinister Creed gives us 9 points with a singular energy, the thrust to defy and overcome.

It used to be that people of different sexual orientations had to undergo a very personal quest of self-discovery and self-empowerment. So I think, those that did so will understand where I am coming from with this. It should not just be handed to you. You will miss out on everything that truly gives self power and strength. Sure there are those that will succumb and fail, not all are worthy of truly living (in my views, not all are worthy of life). Each must pass the tests of living to be worthy of doing so. Those we coddle, we do them no service. We may love them, but we must be willing to watch them die. This is the Law of Nature, it always has been. This is a cosmic revelation, yet has been no kept secret.

So in that, what do I mean by cosmic revelation? When we look into nature what we see is constantly repeating patterns. Fractals if you will. What happens on a microscopic level, seems to also happen on larger and larger scales. The Law of Nature is no different. In the same way, that a seedling planted on the shadyside of a tree has to struggle and overcome to survive; so must we endure to survive.

With all of the solar storm activity in the news lately, it should also be apparent that the same condition exists on that level. There is in fact, a delicate balance struck in nature. Some of which we can see and comprehend, the rest though the pattern remains elusive.

To be continued…

-BX


Lost in the Rain (an old poem)

Hot as the sun
You can make me
Come all undone
Want you to show me
The winds of the plains
I can feel you
How your thoughts are portrayed
The trees can taste you
Your soft veins
We are all lost in the rain
See all you want
Something’s still missing
What have we done?
I want to see
The dove and the raven become one
Blessed the dead
Damning the living
Standing at the gate
Streams are forgiving
Tasting the nectar of Roman goods
Sack clothe and twinning
Rough leather shelter feet
Crisp morn and sweet dew
An evening of luxury
Faint cause for yearning
Spilling of blood
Streams pass beneath my feet
Trolls feast the crimson mud
No shadows or windows
Old ghosts pass
As do the sands of an hour glass
Still lost in the rain
I can feel you all around me
How your love is inspired
We can all see you
What your heart desires
We’re all lost in the rain
I can feel you all around me
Like the drapes of the night
Look into you
Scrap the depths of your being
See you lost in the rain

-T.C. Downey 1995


What is the Insidious Way?

What is the Insidious Way? Where did it come from? How does it fit in with the Order of Nine Angles and Satanism? These are questions that are valid, yet can be hard to answer, because of the nature of it. First we must understand the word’s meaning and where it comes from.

1a: having a gradual and cumulative effect : SUBTLE

1b: of a disease : developing so gradually as to be well established before becoming apparent

2a: awaiting a chance to entrap : TREACHEROUS

2b: harmful but enticing : SEDUCTIVE

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Insidious comes from a Latin word for “ambush” (insidiae), which is fitting, as this word often carries the meanings “deceitful,” “stealthy,” or “harmful in an imperceptible fashion.” The first two meanings may be applied to people or things (“an insidious enemy,” “an insidious plot”), while the last is usually applied to things (“insidious problems,” “insidious sexism”), in particular to the gradual progress of a disease (“an insidious malignancy”)

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

I have read other etymology suggesting that it is rooted in the Latin word “Insidere” meaning to lie and wait for.  I will leave the authenticity and factualness of that to David Myatt, if he should ever choose to digress upon it. Through that same action, and in the same way, I am beginning to talk about what it really is.

Let me explain what I mean. You see about 13 years ago, I began studying the Fourth Way as was brought forth by G.I. Gurdjieff. Coincidentally at the same time, became interested in what was being put out about Anton Long and the Order of Nine Angles, by Chloe352. What I found was an unconscious interconnection, an inner resonance if you will. Though it had not quite surfaced or begun to crystallize at that point. There would need to be a few more events before the idea of the Insidious Way came into my head.

Before I get into that though, ( I promise I will explain what I meant soon) a little background on my path to here. In the middle of my seventh grade year, we were assigned a book report. This book report was different than any I had had before, as it was the first one I had to do on a book of my own choosing. Now I was brought up Midwest Baptist or Calvary Baptist, whatever it is that you call it. However at this point in my life, I had become completely dissatisfied with it. Initially I had tried to look into the religion of my ancestors, Druidism, but what I found out was that there are no true accounts of it. Now in all fairness, as to not discount the possibility, it is completely possible that a few bloodlines have aurally passed down the traditions of old. I believe my great-grandfather tried to do so with me as a child. But I digress as I am straying.

I chose to do my report on  I Ching. In the process my first exposure to another religion was Taoism. In Taoism, it is taught that sometimes the best effort is no effort at all. Patience, like the spider in his web, can often reveal the clearest easiest path to attainment.  Then so in the same way, that I will wait for David Myatt to translate the root of the word, we see the very first seed planted in my mind.

Gurdjieff gave the next seed planted. The concept of Self-Remembering showed me that  there was a way to silence the mind while remaining in motion. Insight could be gleaned from simply being in the state of conscious observation. He also introduced me to the concept that there are no great mysteries. That all ideas eventually become known by all, because of the nature of our species. If not in that way, then by it intuitively rising up in the mind of another.

Though somewhat out of chronological order in its placement, it is important now to talk about what I call fertile ground. Chaos Magic and my own purely Satanic ethos provide the rich soil for which this idea has grown. I fell in love with the devil long before I ever read LaVey’s “Magnum Opus”. In truth though the TSB mirrored for me a great deal of my already developing character. Yet I could not simply accept the cookie cutter “Satanity” of the CoS. So I did not pass go and they did not collect $200.

During highschool, I was an avid fan and partaker of recreational drugs. Particularly LSD and other hallucinogenics. My interest in the Occult was further nurtured by the heathenistic pagan hippie commune I bought my psychedelics from. After a dozen or so invitations to join them in ritual, I decided it might be fun to do so after ingesting some mescaline. For a time this was a steady occurrence.

As the years went on in my life, my focus, turned to Chaos Magick. I still had an interest in exploring new ideologies as they presented themselves to me. This all culminated and came to a head sometime in late 2008. I began involvement with The Cult of Cthulhu.  Chaos Magick, Esotericism, Satanism, and The Fourth Way all finally fermented into fertile ground.

At the same time, Chloe was bringing more and more interesting perspectives to light on various subject matter being discussed within the circles I frequented, and at the same time consistently pointing back to the O9A. Ideas like Praxis and Wyrd instantly grabbed my interest. I had read everything I could get my hands on.

Some discussions with Chloe about concept of a memeplex,  along with the more and more frequently occurring arrival of various Nexions, had begun to really hold my interest. What I found most fascinating was the scope of variety and permeance of each occurrence.  I began to know the Tree of Wyrd, just as complete strangers become familiar with each other.

The O9A by its own ethos, is in fact, just as insidious as it is sinister. By the simple fact that the goal is to affect Aeonic Change, and that it is understood this happens gradually over the course of time. Through the use of Aeonic Magick and by whatever other methods it’s initiates employ, this aligns my goals with their own. Though once again, I reject the cookie cutter version of initiation. To be quite honest though, I’m almost positive that this is not considered heretical by the “inner circle”. 

So I guess I should finally answer the question of what is the Insidious Way? In short, the Insidious Way is the belief, practice, and understanding that through conscious observation, dark empathy, dedicated study, development of culture, and Sinister strategy, one can overcome the Magian / Puritan and evolve as a being. Becoming Warlock Warriors aka Darkhorses. These Masters of the Self are Alchemists of Anarchy and Sultans of Subterfuge, seeking the frontline of the coming season.

Any questions?

-Beast Xeno


Aftermath (a short poem)

In this place only earth, trees, and stars;
Beyond the hills things are more bizarre;
The Aethyr whispers in the silent night;
The Ancient Ones will come when the stars are right;
For it is THEM moving through all things;
Always there pulling on our strings;
Those they chose did more than survive;
A brave new world in which they thrive;
Warrior wizards of the killing kind;
Song-like prayer chants from the culling times;
Faces stained of war-paint mixed from mud, blood, and soot;
All who cross this warband are trampled underfoot;
From a distance the erie shadows cast;
Carcasses of monolithic dwellings of the past;
Haunting reminders of when we’d lost our way;
Such vile and dastardly creatures, that which we had became;
Still there were those among Us that waited for the day;
When the season was just right so they could play the sinister game;
A thousand moons have passed since;
Deep into the Aeon of the Crown Prince.


Aethyr Alchemical (part 3)

What follows will seem rigid as I codify the Darkhorse Klan. However I expect to be challenged. I expect attempts made to usurp. As in nature, the struggle for alpha must remain present. In the same tradition, just as all things occurring naturally before this brotherhood; there is a season. When one season ends, another season has already begun.

I like to talk about time in a more organic fashion. In my mind, we try too hard to ascribe an artificial set of properties upon naturally occurring phenomenon. Time is no exception. There is no distinct marking between autumn and winter, nor winter and spring. One slowly fades in as the other slowly fades out. It is only in the height of a season, that you can be sure which season you are in.

I am talking about the most basic understanding of seasons. That being the passing of an indefinite amount of time, which is denoted by a specific set of characteristics. It can be understood that I am describing the coming into and going out of something specific. In the case of Darkhorse Klan, it could be our aims, influences, or methods. As only the strongest and most beneficial of anything should prevail. For one of the earmarks of true honour is dedication to the longevity and sanctity of your own.

Long ago, there was a season where these values were cherished abroad. A time when character was crafted in the individual from the very beginning. Things like clan, country, and honour were embraced and held high. As I said in the beginning of this, the past is gone. Yet that season can come again.

I admire the Koryos. Adolescents tasked with forging their transformation from boy to man. Seeking to connect to the primal and often brutal natural order. Donning the hide of the hunter beast spirit which they seek symbiosis with. Not simply the mimicry of the technique and prowess of these great beasts, but the merging with its metaphysical psychology and life force. It must have been quite a sight to behold, men ferocious and wild often consumed with bloodlust.

Fearless warriors and hunters that were supposedly forced to be an outcast of their clan/tribe. Still they chose to be the protectors of their people. Most were indoctrinated back into the clan/tribe, after passing whatever tests had been set out before them. Still some found their place in this world, and chose never to came back. They had forged their totem.

The importance of a totem is lost in our modern translations. Often seeming as an archaic and inferior understanding, so much gnosis lost. Each Darkhorse should venture to adopt and connect to a totem. This connection will serve as conduit for our transmutation. A true alchemy sought for evolution of our whole being.

To truly fulfill our 9A:O, we must seek not only a personal transformation, but a societal transformation. To achieve this it is difficult to imagine what must be done. The most direct line I can see, is a cleansing and rebirth. The means of such action are far beyond my reach or the reach of probably all that will read this. We all know genocide is a very dirty word. One that most people cannot  condone and most certainly cannot imagine.

Fortunately as the old expression goes, there is more than one way to skin a fox. Selective culling has been employed throughout history to remove undesirable elements in our world. Yet when we speak on the level of what is deemed human, most are mortified.

If someone asked me to cast my vote upon the idea of an annual Purge, (yes I’m talking about the concept as put forth in the movies bearing the same title) I would incline to cast my vote in the affirmative. Even though that would place me and mine in jeopardy for that time, my answer would remain the same. This makes me a bit sad that it would, but I am so disgusted by the condition in which we exist.

To quote the Joker in the 1989 film Batman, “This town needs an enema!”. An end to the neutering and pacification of society as a whole. The rooting out and decimation of the dishonorable, ignorant, and unaccountable pestilence we call mankind. To me it is clear that we have stifled our own course of evolution and some action must be taken.

I have always held a deep admiration for various organizations such as the Hashshashin, Yakuza, and China’s Heaven and Earth Society. The ability to tend to and regulate your own within is beyond admirable. The ability to operate on a clandestine level is even more so. So I have sought to emulate such brotherhoods. It is for this reason that the true name of the Darkhorse Klan, is known only by 9 currently and will only be revealed to those who prove loyalty and solidarity. For the wise, a simple clue; keep your circles small, from this you maintain order.

The past is most certainly gone. Like this moment as it’s passing. For every thing there is a season, and as the season ends, may our season be already underway. I look to the alchemical season with hope and conviction.

I think I have covered a great deal of ground in these three parts. I’m certain a few revisions will surface over time. For now though this will work.

– Beast Xeno


Aethyr Alchemical (part 2)

Let us be like wet clay again. Let us rejoin the Aethyr. There is no better time for us than tomorrow. This should always be in our minds. What we are doing isn’t working. I can’t be the only one who sees this.  A complete reset seems to me, to be the only answer.

That will be no simple task, and what transpires getting to that point, the mundanes will think sinister and insidious. As one seeker, in my many travels down one path or another; there have only been a handful of ideologies offering a complete reset. There are two which I find a harmonic resonance with.  Hence the two symbols at the top of this page.

It is necessary to point out that there are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the ending point is the same. I must also disclose that as we near the top, those choices narrow further and further down. In the end it will come down to who truly reached the peak and how.

The Insidious Way offers the understanding that influence is the truest currency of this world. That it should be observed, tended to, and cultivated. That unless you actively choose what you will stand for or in; you will fall for anything. This requires a great deal of a very specific character.

One must undergo orthodoxy and then heresy to truly ascertain what G.I. Gurdjieff once referred to as right understanding. I truly believe Anton Long came to this conclusion as well. The problem, to me, is not in methods of achieving right understanding. Rather it seems to be in remaining fluid through them. As it is easy to fall into a dogmatic crystallization.

Our failure to remain malleable is often the downfall of the human psychology. We seem inherently obsessed with artificial systems and processes. I attribute this to the use of analogous abstractions. I know this is most often an extremely useful tool for the learning and understanding of the world around us. Still we seem to fixate on the method rather than it’s products and results.

One example is the public reaction to common core mathematics, when it was introduced into public school systems. There seemed to be a literal meltdown of parents all across the country. So many places I saw people complaining that they couldn’t understand it and expressing their fear that their children weren’t going to be able to use it. I was trained in the traditional manner of mathematics, and my son has done common core his entire school career.

He is just as capable if not more so than I am. So I don’t see what the big deal was. It simply meant that I had to learn a different method to achieving the same results. There are many examples of the same scenario playing out and for the sake of brevity, I am not going to go further.

One of the most fascinating and attractive things about the O9A, is the hermetic offering of many different paths on many different levels; all of which, like my analogy, lead to the same place. One must really give Anton Long his due props; it takes an extremely developed gnosis and disciplined mind, to culminate all of these things together. Even if you believe the mythos, and this really is derived from an aural tradition of antiquity, it’s still does not take away from that which is indicative of its complexity and thoroughness. Long is either independently wealthy or has lived as meager as the philosophers of old.

I imagine that it wasn’t a complete package right from the start. In fact, it has taken a lifetime of work to achieve. Though I cannot speak for, and probably shouldn’t about, what his process was; it seems to me an obvious digestion of the occult. Like myself, I suspect the painstaking effort of exploring, participating, and eventually understanding each path one at a time. Extracting the things of value, and discarding the bullshit. As they say, separating the wheat from the chaff.

A truly alchemical reaction, and with each a transmutation of his own personal character. I wonder when he looks in the mirror can he recognize the man that started down this path? For that matter, is there anything left at all? This is a prime example of what it means to be a slyman and the pinnacle of what the Insidious Way is.

It is a shame to me that I will probably never have the opportunity to know and communicate directly with Anton Long. I have associated myself with the O9A for over a decade. Even before my participation with the Nexion L316. I am no closer now, then I was then. I’m okay with that. It hasn’t weakened my resolve in any way. However it would have enriched my understanding of the source.

In that way, I am different. I am here and always available for discussion and collaboration. I am, however, no kind of teacher. What I am sharing, here and in the near future on another site, are my thoughts and my process.

The Insidious Way is to be considered like the Tao. It cannot truly be captured in writing or even conversation. For as potent as the language of symbols is, still it cannot be contained within. There are no metaphors or analogies which can depict it. Each Darkhorse’s aethyric alchemy is personal and should be. This is the only way to ensure that you are the one controlling the forces of influence.

I offer these thoughts to you, dear kinfolk. Do not make the mistake of supposing what you’re final transformation might look like. Do not force yourself to be what you are not. As you interact with each current, remain as wet clay on the potters wheel. Use the experience and the knowledge you gain. Reach deep for that creative connection. Find your groove and let it manifest. You will surprise yourself, with the beauty contained within. Not everyone will end up at the peak of this dark mountain.

What follows will seem rigid as I codify the Darkhorse Klan. However I expect to be challenged. I expect attempts made to usurp. As in nature, the struggle for alpha must remain present.

May the Dark Gods be with you and the new Aeon be Wyrdful. Until part 3.

-Beast Xeno


Aethyr Alchemical (part 1)

The past is gone. This moment is already passing and there is no rewinding it. There is no reason to dwell in it. It cannot be undone. We can study it and learn from it, but we must ultimately; leave it where it is and move forward beyond it. There are choices presented to us with regard to the past. One might decide to not revisit it or even try to recreate it, but alas; it will never be again.

“Jason King” once stated something to the effect of; there has never been a better time than now. His argument was that; we may wish that we could go back to a different time period, thinking that life was better. However that is a double-edged sword, because with those things we think were better, comes all of the difficulties present at that time as well. I don’t need to look any further than in myself to see the truth in that.

I can’t count the number of times, I have thought to myself, I wish I could go back to this time or that time in my life. I remember different periods of life in which different things were “better”, but they really weren’t. So I eventually accept that, right now is my best moment, and I can be hopeful in tomorrow. Then I realize that, tomorrow is the greatest time for me. You see tomorrow is still unpromised.

Tomorrow is raw Materia. It is a wet lump of clay waiting to be sculpted on the potter’s wheel. I can put my hands in it and use my experience to guide its shape. I can envision its potentialities and form it toward my desired perfection. I can work at it in my own pace, and with practice; I will see my planning meeting with my creativity and experience. Should the A:O will it so, it may even stand up to the tests of time.

As an artist, there is this moment during creation; a realization without realization. It is the intersection of the flow of imagination and the act of creating. It is an Alchemy of the Will. When I was tattooing, I used to call it “getting into my groove”. I have however always recognized it when I manifest. It does not matter the manifestation. For those brief moments, I am awake; I am god. I have tapped into the A:O, and it flows through me.

There are a set of lyrics in a song by White Zombie which have always spoken to me. Thirty plus years and I still haven’t completely decoded what they mean to me but they are these:

Straight to the sun I am a walk’n state of the art
All that I see [yeah] new Gods move wipp’n the shore and dash on the reef
Surf city… I walk alone and stare, man, right in the sun
Tear-jerk asylum and cemetery run
Well, how’d I ever get this far man
Smooth curves switchback the sweat
Underneath the body, baby
Where what you see is what you see and what you get.

Warp Asylum – White Zombie

In the summer of 1992, I first heard this song and I was instantly enchanted by these words. The line “straight to the sun, I am a walk’n state of the art” caught my ear and the resonance was almost deafening. That instance, I was transported to a distant futuristic hellscape of dried up beaches just “Beyond the Thunderdome” and I was tagging everything in sight. Later in life, I realized that to me it summed up in a tidy way, the idea that we are walking creators. We are all artists in our own right.

I won’t linger on whatever inspirations, I have drawn from these lyrics over the years. Though there are many, the important one right now is that we are a species of creators. We collectively emulate and venerate creation and we have done so, as far back as history can show us. There is no denying our advancements are many. In a period of a century or two, we can completely rework the face of this entire world. We have done just this.

What we can’t seem to do though, at least not “en mass” is recognize and accept what we truly are. As a child, I was taught that I should strive to be “as gentle as a lamb”. I certainly have had moments, where I was as such, but I know I am more like the wild dog than any gentle lamb. Maybe that has something to do with my Celtic heritage or maybe it is simply because I don’t deny what I am. Deep down though, I know I thirst for worthy battles.

Every great civilization I can think of was born from, and sustained by conquer and conquest. They all seem to fall by the promise of peace. This includes our current age. It seems to me, that when we run out of an outward enemy; we turn toward our inward enemies. A literal and symbolic cannibalism. In the same way that a mother animal would kill off and consume, her offspring should she sense a defect or disadvantage. An act meant to ensure the longevity of her bloodline.

We live in a society where this same behavior is frowned upon and scorned. A world where children are given awards simply for participation. Where rather than force them to rise above whatever disadvantages they may have; we shield and shelter them and call it protection. Yet we do them no great service with this. We teach them weakness and entitlement. Instead of learning to take a punch, we teach them to tattle-tale on the puncher.

You might be wondering why this concerns me. After all doesn’t everyone have a right to a happy life? No they don’t, and though this disgusts me to the core of my being, this is not the “why” that I wish to convey. You see I am a being of reason and logic. I am also one who seeks to remove any illusions of potentialities no matter how horrifying they maybe.

With astronomers saying there could be as many as 40 billion planets in the universe with conditions similar to our own. Meaning capable of sustaining life on them. The closest of them being a mere 12 light years away. It seems like a simple numbers game to me. What I mean is this; we should be expecting visitors.

When they come, and it really does seem like a matter of when, they aren’t coming in peace. It is too costly to travel such distances simply to say hello. They will be motivated to attain something, and are certainly not to leave empty-handed. You can ask how do I know this? This is a valid question and a hard one to answer. Many years of occult study and that of natural behaviors. I have gleaned the many parallels between things on all levels, and can confidently conclude the truth of the old Hermetic idiom “As above, so below”.

Still if this is too much for you to reconcile; if you find it utterly unbelievable; there is still the truth of our own nature to contend with. Because we are a species of violence and war (evidenced by our own histories), and no matter how much “goodie-two-shoes” bubblegum bullshit we try to blow up our own asses, that truth is stark and glaring. For as much as we emanate creation, we also culminate in destruction. So the pendulum sways.

When is it time for us as a species to stop lying to ourselves? When will we not be constantly looking backward for some hidden “knowledge” to fill the vast hole in our collective soul? When will we stop coddling the weak among us and just let our nature be? These are the questions I seek answers to. Not some cryptic wisdom from a time before the time I exist in.

Let us be like wet clay again. Let us rejoin the Aethyr. There is no better time for us than tomorrow. This should always be in our minds. What we are doing isn’t working. I can’t be the only one who sees this.

This was originally going to be a single post, but after some thought; I think it best if I do it in installments. As there is a great deal I am trying to express, and I need time to reflect within it. Thoughts are welcomed, steel will always sharpen steel.

-Beast Xeno


Haunter (a short poem)

Just beyond the reach of the fire’s soft light;
Lurking the shadows, whispering to the night;
From a time before time, Baleful and Malefic;
Crimson-black soaked robe reminiscent of Ole Celtic;
Madness seeping in like spores do a carcass;
An offering made of flesh and bone, who knows the purpose;

Only the Great Mother recognizes all thousand faces;
Staring into the Void, the strange geometry of such places;
Numinously unsettling the intensity renders one nauseous;
Peeling the skin , twisted grin,  ecstasy rises and crashes;
In the pale lunar glow, a new horror is composed;
Blissfully unassuming masses, until the plot unfolds;

In the wake of Myatt’s Vindex, galactic order is imposed;
A return to the folk path, reanimated specter O’ long ago;
In the Times of Culling, glaring notions of suchness had much reveal;
Our kind rises above, because we bathe in fire and steel;
The Black Man shares the message, Awaken the A:O;
The Dark God’s are presenced within the Chaos that is sown; 

And to the New Aeon, be more honest than the last;
Let mankind’s wyrdful purpose reach out into the vast;
Alchemical altered physis, a path that’s sevenfold;
Insidious is the slyman, a sinister dialect of that unknown;
So bring on the Crawling Chaos, raise those megaliths;
Outside the Nameless City,  the darkness is our gift.

-T.C. Downey 06/06/2021


Old Memories (an old poem)

Sing us a song, Old Memories
That melody brings it all back to me
We were so young in those days
The world was the field in which we played
We weren’t afraid of anything
Chancing all Lady Luck would bring
Our souls filled with fire that slowly burns
The lessons of life, we had yet to learn

And I’d give anything to bring, life back to the words you sing
Old Memories please come to me, you are all that’s left of a dream

Conjure a spell that’ll take us there
Back where the feeling was so pure
Give back what I’ve missed so much
Breathe in new life to this withered touch
I remember how the new day would sing
of the treasure’s our old friend Chance would bring
Our spirits would soar way above the sky
Make it the last feeling before I die

No one can change what we’ve exchanged, they can’t make us feel ashamed
What we’ve done and what we’ve shared, those Old Memories can’t be repaired

One day I’ll call on you old friend
To bring back the times of old again
As we talk of the things we used to know
That weak old flame will begin to glow
Brighter with each memory it’ll grow
I think to myself “How I’ve missed you so”
I keep Old Memories in my heart
Right where they’ve been from the start

And I’d give anything to bring, life back to the words you sing
Old Memories please come to me, you are all that’s left of a dream

So sing us a song Old Memories, Remind us of how things used to be.

-T.C. Downey 2002


The Sinister Certainties

Truth is sometimes very much like a barbed wire. There are those that can only handle it in a delicate manner. Those that don’t want anything to do with it. There are some that misjudge it’s strength and cannot appreciate it’s tendency towards eliciting pain. More so, truth, at least objective truth; is a very sinister force.

The truth is fickle and often elusive. In the same way, it is blinding and often ignored. The kind of truth I speak of is not the subjective species we’ve come to embrace. Entire religions have been built on the misapprehension of subjective truths as objective truths.

Buddhism is one such religion. To demonstrate such is as simple as “samsara”.  Even if we accept the concept of cylindric life, we are still left with the subjective nature of that as truth. What I mean is, the statement of Life as a cycle of death and rebirth is not verifiable in an empirical sense. Though we can witness things being born and things dying, there is nothing empirical to create a connection between the two.

However there is a certainty in that statement. A very sinister certainty. Everything dies and if it has life it eventually meets its death. That can be verified empirically. To that understanding, I present you with the first of the Darkhorse’s Sinister Certainties.

You see certainty is not held abstractly and requires that you draw from practical experience. Praxis if you will. Certainty comes from repeatedly experiencing the same result and being able to recognize that you will in fact continue to do so. It is not an abstract concept, instead it is a glaring practical recognization.

Another of Darkhorse’s Sinister Certainties is that Everyone is slave to something. That is that everyone bends to serve something.  It is by our attachments that we come to this place of servitude. Even the Buddhist monk holds attachment. Just the attachment to the idea of non-attachment should illustrate sufficiently. I know it probably looks like I’m picking on Buddhists, however that’s just not the case. One of my favorite thinkers is in fact one.

The Insidious Way brings an understanding that these attachments are better defined as influences. When correctly observed in this way, there is a recognization that you cannot be free from influence. All you can really do is choose what, how much, or simply how; you are influenced. Power is gained through learning to traffic in influence. Which brings me to another Sinister Certainty. Influence is the purest currency.

Just as you would mind your acquiring of, investing of, saving of, and spending of money; you must also mind influence in this manner. Here we come to a place where we understand that these Sinister Certainties that I have been talking about are primal influences. I choose the term primal over meta because they speak deeper than the rational mind. They speak to the very core of our being.

These statements of ominous foreshadowing are in fact terrifying to most. They boast of how easily something horrifying can unfold in front of you. You cannot hold influence over everything, but anything can hold influence over you. Which brings me to the last of the Sinister Certainties I wish to talk about tonight; Cosmically we are insignificant.

A comet does not care if you have accepted Jesus in your heart. A supernova is not concerned with your karma. For that matter, the planet Earth does not care if you can breathe.

These are not finite understandings. They are not some rigid system of supposed enlightenment. Quite the opposite, they represent the bleakness and the void. A literal Endarkenment. A disillusioning of falsities such as hope and Nirvana. I would ask my readers that have absorbed what I am putting forward to comment some other possible Sinister Certainties. This is to be done for the purpose of learning your own truths.

-BX


A Momentary Pause

That’s right folks… I said pause. There is a great deal of work for me to do here, with not a lot of time available to do it. Though it isn’t evident from the surface; I have been working every single day since my return to the interwebs. I usually post up an old (or new) poem or drawing to give something to keep up awareness that I haven’t gone far. I have so much ground I want to cover, and to be honest knowing where to focus next is NOT a very easy thing to keep deciding. I try to remain organic and let what comes flow freely.

In point of fact, if you really examine anything I have created in my life, you’ll find that is a resounding theme. My dharma is my guiding light. So many times have I spoken with terms such as “aims” and “currents“. To me, these two concepts are relative to dharma. I was born into the Western world of thought and so when concepts like “path/paths” are discussed there is often a very rigid and distinct concept associated to them. Where an aim is to be pointed in an intended direction, with a particular desired endpoint in focus. A path holds a lot of the same conceptualized values as a current does, but the current doesn’t feel as constricted. So now you can kind of see where my mind goes and why this takes a great deal of work for me.

So now back to my pause. There are some extremely interesting things on my mind lately. I spend a good amount of time reading materials written by today’s O9A folks. I seem to pay the most attention to the “Wyrdsisters” lately. There is something about the writing style there that “irks” me. Almost to a point of annoyance. I am however not one to let such trivialities deter me. So I end up reading it 5 or 6 times back to back. Then I typically go down the rabbit-hole with whatever references have been given. Truth be told, I take something of value away from every post.

I suppose that, I have G.I. Gurdjieff to thank for being able to negotiate my way through this daunting writing style they have. I just wish it would get easier for me to absorb whatever is of value being discussed. Reading Gurdjieff is like listening to a knife spreading butter on the world’s driest piece of toast. He’s not alone either in this phenomenon, Aristotle has very much the same affect. Yet I have read all of both of their works. Do you want to know who else has this affect on me? Anton Long.

I’m sorry Mr. Long, but its just true. I have a really hard time reading your writings. It isn’t that, I find nothing of value; quite the opposite actually. I can even recognize that this is probably purposely done and aids in perpetuating the Labyrinth of Mythos. Still I really should express that you are among the few “living” thinkers that I am influenced by. This to me is a large compliment, because I have spent over a decade being conscious of what I will allow to hold influence over me.

Anyhow this will probably be deleted sometime soon as it really is not terribly relevant and was just a pause in the current’s flow. Kind of a mental note I’m sharing. Since I have 6 different posts in just as many states of completion and I feel like I should be putting something up for the readers.

-BX


Fatal (my very first poem)

The look of evil as times are grim,
A sign of death as we are living in sin,
The blood of my heart leaves a dark stain,
To love her, with all to lose and nothing to gain;

Close my eyes as I wait for my time,
Is killing myself such a crime?
Death from the angel is all I ask,
So leave me alone as I carry out this task;

Half way dead as I bleed on the floor,
I wait for Satan to open the door,
Life has been so deadly and wicked,
Climbing the gate so thorny and pricked;

Slow and painful is the death rate,
As I slashed my wrists on this fatal date,
This was all for a girl can’t you see,
I look to the stars, there’s no forgiveness for me;

My time was Fatal!

-T.C. Downey 1990


The Principal of Water Element

When I think of the Elements the first one that comes to mind is water. Water is very much like Darkhorse. It is unassuming and so often overlooked. There is an almost unnatural calming effect that so many experience in its presence. It is as if the stories of old, told of the Siren’s song, were simply a metaphor for the mesmerizing trance that the water holds. As deep as the trenches of the ocean floor go, so does this great teacher’s lessons.

In as many forms as we can find water taking; we can find an equal portion of transformations owed to it. Water is the giver of life and the unspeakable horror of the lives it has taken. On a Planetary level, it is representative of the inner mind and subconsciousness. Some of its chief hallmarks being adaptive, soothing, fluid, corrosive, expanding, and overcoming.

None can deny the power that this element holds. How quickly it can shift from a calm serenity, to a swelling chaos of certain peril. On an Earthly level, it is a perfect balance of tri-state mastery (hot-tepid-cold). Seemingly able to summon hybrid variations of these states. One would be wise to court Mercury’s companion. At the surface, it should be seen as reflective. Bearing in mind, the deeper we go the more mysteries it holds. No wonder why in Alchemy it is denoted by the downward triangle.

The Slyman works to imitate the properties of water element. Seeking to absorb the prowess and mysteriousness. Minding the great wisdoms the waters hold. Not just in seeking your own level, but in your own tri-state mastery.

To this effect, the (one of the) fundamental task(s) of the Initiate Grade of the Order of Nine Angles’ Sevenfold Path termed “Insight Role” (once referred to by Mindfux as Agency); is revered by Darkhorse as essential to development. This practice of shapeshifting is both insightful and extremely useful to our ends.

I am not sure I agree with A. Long about the duration of your first insight role being a minimum of 18 months, but perhaps there is some aspect I’m overlooking. I would tend to think a build up to that undertaking would be useful, as learning to hold a shape takes a tremendous effort. Still I am a strong proponent of the notion “if its not broken, don’t fix it” and this is definitely not broken.

SHTF Preppers (Shit-Hits-The-Fan Preppers) should be flocking by the thousands to achieve this; as this is the ultimate “Grey Man” training. Changing your appearance and being able to move in and out of different scenarios undetected is only effective in a short term event. They assume they can make it to their “bug-out” location. It is also worth mentioning that in a true SHTF situation this is reactive and not proactive. Anyway I digress.

If I have failed in any way to demonstrate the powers held by this Elemental; one needs only go to Wikipedia and search “List of water deities” and stand in awe of broad scope and antiquity of its worship. For me, being of Irish Celtic descent, its resonance echoes of a heritage I will never truly get to understand. I refuse to buy into the “neo-druid” horseshit which reeks of Crowley’s golden dawn with sprinkles of wicca and flakes of shaman spice.

As a boy my great-granddad used to tell me old folklore from our homeland. Tales of fairies, warriors, and gods were his favorite to wax. There was always a water connection. So much of a connection that my family’s coat of arms distinctly has 3 sea creatures on it.

Before I stray to far from the thrust of this writing. I wanted to glean another association to water I have made, and that is to blood (more specifically bloodlines). Obvious I guess, to most maybe, but in the same way that water can be used for dilution, it can also be used for purification. To further affect it is also key to transmutation.

The process of making crack-cocaine is one excellent example of such purification and transmutation. Three very simple ingredients when processed together can take weak powdered cocaine and make it reemerge; both hardened and more potent. This of course takes place in the first ingredient water.

During times of antiquity, a tactic was used to assimilate a conquered people (thus ensuring compliance) without necessarily totally enslaving them. To maintain “total occupation” is an extremely expensive and laborsome endeavor. By simply killing off the undesirable components (in this case the warrior caste) and inter-breeding with select components; you can create a linear-sense of loyalty and submission. Halfbreeds (with desirable traits) can then be further bred back into the desired pool. Perhaps adding a physical or mental ability not present (or perhaps weaker) before.

This is not unlike the process of making crack-cocaine. As it is a formula for the breaking down, purification, and reemergence of greater intensity; it is yet another stellar example of water’s transmutative abilities. As much as water is one the great teachers; so is it one of the great tests. Though we require it to survive; it is something of a feat to survive it. The necessity to do so is the catalyst for us to become as adaptive and persistent as water itself is.

So in closing, I will implore those of the Darkhorse to be as insidious as water is. Study it, work with it, revere it, and you will unlock the secrets bore in the depths of it. The Mother, Destroyer, Nurturer, and Sorceress that is eternal. She is worshipped throughout the history of mankind. She encourages us be silent and subtle; to be formless and adaptive; to be entrancing and yet treacherous. This writing is but a shallow gleaning of a gnosis so rich and available to any who choose to undergo it. One cannot move through water fearlessly, without knowing the depths of it. As Bruce Lee once said “Be water, my friend”.

Live Deliberately!

-Beast Xeno


Fuck The Machine (an old poem)

“Fuck the Machine”

No matter how hard
I’ve tried
I’m still trapped inside
My 9 to 5
I’m staying alive
But it’s quite a stride
Still I sell my pride
And hope I thrive
By pleasing the mind
Of a superior kind
A man with a wallet fuller than mine
All through this time
I repeat in my mind
One day I’ll rise
One day I’ll shine
I wish I was strong
Like a Rock –n- Roll song
And made a dong
Like a big brass gong
Or take away your breath
Like a 4 foot bong
But those days are gone

I want to stand up and scream
Something obscene
Muck up what’s said to be clean
Hold up my finger and say:
“Fuck The Machine!”
Take what’s left of my being
And follow my dreams

You think you control
My mind and soul
Get it through your thick skull
There was nothing sold
No favors are owed
Won’t do what I’m told
I’ve been driving this road
Since before the stars were old

-T.C. Downey 1999


Encore of Hypocrisy (An old poem)

The veil of truth has been removed.

Who we are, defined by what we do.

Search deep inside, you’ll find we’re cruel.

Our primal darkness, seeping through.

Lullaby of lies, duped and mezmerized; still we can’t disguise it.

Cold like a raw bone ripping at the rail.

Hard as a steel bar driven like a nail.

Foaming like a mad dog look for a kill.

Ravenous and genocidal.

Ingrained within ensuring survival.

Yet we bury it deep in denial.

Build our strawmen, then place them on trial.

Turn a blind eye, cover it in pride; pathetically we can’t hide it.

Cold like a raw bone ripping at the rail.

Hard as a steel bar driven like a nail.

Foaming like a mad dog looking for a kill.

Far beyond, what we pretend to be.

An encore of hypocrisy.

Our species was born of rage.

Soaked in blood and brutality.

-T.C. Downey 2013


The Accuser (A short poem)

I walk among the living dead.
I see them and their madness.
Their eyes are wide open, yet they dream life; without lucidity.
They fear the rational gaze.

I am fire to them.
My words scorch their delusions.
My reasons blind them, burning bright with contempt for folly.
Some speak of me as insurgency, I see a quest for merit.

I am relentless and defiant.
My restlessness, rushes over the bedrock; smoothing every stone.
Even in my calmest appearances, I still yield a wicked undertow.
Men whisper stories of being sucked under me, never to again be seen.

I am the accuser.
I point my finger firmly and judge ye, as I have already judged myself.
You have chosen to simply toe-the-line, turning an eye that is blind.
Acting contrary to your design.

I am of the Tree of Wyrd.
Rooted deeply in what has passed; yet reaching outward into the vastness.
What is life, if not to grow? Tend me closely or let me go.
Will you climb atop, or be sated by what hangs low? The answer, I already know.

-T.C. Downey 2021


The Shape of Things to Come. (Worthy of a read)

Everything that exists in this universe develops its suchness, quality, and nature because of its Environment. Time is on the ONA’s side. The Future neither belongs to the Right or Left. It belongs to Violence, War, Hate, Competition, and Human death and casualties the likes of which we have never seen: the Future belongs to Human Nature. It’s the Kali Yuga after all. Agios O World War 3!

Read the full article here!


The Numinous Undertaking

To recognize the need for the destruction of puritan ideology is indicative of wisdom. A smart man sees things for what they really are; dishonorable, oppressive; literally infested with hubris. A. Long in his practical wisdom has charged those of a specific character to presence the sinister. This is to be accomplished through particular methods with precise aim to affect Aeonic Change. To that end; Let he that has the ear, hear the words of Tsun Tzu “All men can see these tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved”. Let this be the thrust to which I Aim.

As I have stated before “Darkhorse is not a descriptor, rather a prescriptor. It is neither the map, nor the terrain; rather it is the skills to scale and survey the terrain. A developed ‘eye for detail’ and the faculty to correlate the map to the terrain; thereby reaching your aim“. Aeonic Change is the only worthy Aim to the Slyman. Only change can bring about our evolution. Adaptation is a measure of intelligence in the tri-sense of the word, and by that I mean mind/body/spirit (please excuse the laymen’s terms, I’m trying not to get lost in the abstractions). To achieve this end, I bring forth Darkhorse.

Darkhorse sees our situation for what it truly is; the proverbial David and Goliath.  Like the story, the odds seem insurmountable, but with the correct action/actions the giant will topple. There are multiple tactics and combinations of tactics one could employ to do so. I will only outline and briefly discuss a few.

Permeation – This is the same tactic used by the Catholic Church during the Age of Discovery. It is a play on Tsun Tzu’s “moral law”. This is where you weave your ideology into the very fabrics of your enemy’s culture, beliefs, and society. It is done in such a way as to infect the solidarity of their opposition. I have witnessed this strategy being mostly effectively used by the O9A already over the past 10 years or so. Chloe352 is, in my opinion, the most effective employer of this strategy. You only need to go to the O9A site now and see how and where she’s operating. She openly discusses or leaves clues in her writings. In the Insidious Way (ISW) this is the Principle of Earth Element. One cannot cultivate a garden in soil that is already tainted.

Division/Isolation – This is the tactic that is so often used in the most notable military campaigns of History. This is the classic divide and conquer tactic. Division can be accomplished through a variety of means. Creating tensions between any type of diversification already present within the body of your enemy. Psychological warfare at its finest. By severing connection to each other and possibly the outside world, in such a way as to give the impression that the enemy stands by itself. This is effective because it tends to create the feelings of panic and suffocation. In the ISW this is the Principle of Air Element. One cannot breathe freely when the air is restricted.

Exhaustion – By draining the resources and therefore the vitality of our enemy, we are quickly able to tire them out. At the same time, we are able to strengthen and fortify ourselves. Tsun Szu says “Hence a wise general makes a point of foraging on the enemy. One cartload of the enemy’s provisions is equivalent to twenty of one’s own, and likewise a single picul of his provender is equivalent to twenty from one’s own store.” In the ISW this the Principle of Fire Element. One cannot be revitalized from ash and cinder.

These are merely the cursory overviews of definition, correlation, and use of such tactics in which themselves hold an esoteric fortune to those with the aptitude to make use of them. Let them be a tri-folded beacon for the kindred, for the Darkhorse sees there are in fact distinctly nine of them. 9 Worlds, 9 Rites, 9 Octaves, 9 Elements, 9 Avatars, 9 Archetypes, 9 Angles, and on and on; down the rabbit hole we go.

The Rites of Darkhorse

“For I incline toward the view that whether we do this is inextricably bound to
how we understand our current predicament on Earth and thus whether we
can free ourselves from the constraints that so bind us now: abstractions,
politics, religions, a lack of self-knowing, a lack of self-honesty, dishonour,
and such personal egoistic desires as so often still subsume us. Which
constraints the experiential Seven Fold Way (the ‘physis sorcery’) of the O9A
was designed to break, containing as that esoteric Way does a necessary,
human, enantiodromia – a melding of the masculous with the muliebral – and
presencing as it does, as those who reach the stage of Internal Adept
discover, the essence of culture.”-A. Long 2015 (From an interview that “Rachael Stirling” had with A. Long)

An Interview with Anton Long (NYC 2015)

It is providence that this, gem of a PDF (An Interview With Anton Long), has surfaced in the midst of me working on this essay. A. Long’s statement shows an eerie reflection of the very essence of Darkhorse. Perhaps that is because there is an internal synchronicity held between two that have honestly put the Work in. It may just be the admiration I have held for the man since I first came upon the curious occult entity referred to as O9A. I tend to believe the former; as most of the narrative has slowly manifested in different aspects (evidenced in my poetry from roughly 30 years ago to today) of my path. No matter the reasons, all things have resulted in the coming practice and Klan.

I have resolved to consciously put daily effort into this blog so that I might attract the likeminded or kindred. Should my words resonate, and you feel a kindred connection to the Darkhorse; you can contact me at beastxeno@gmail.com. Be aware though I am not seeking online fantasy play pals. I am looking for those with the mind and spirit to Work in the real world. I will relist the 9A:O below.

Our 9A:O – The Nine Angled Objectives of Darkhorse Klan (DhK)

1. To seek resonance, to build strength within.
2. To absorb, embody, and evolve the Insidious Way.
3. To tap our potential as Darkhorse and gain supranatural advantages in achieving our Aims.
4. To decimate morality. To reject duality/balance as some higher attainment.
5. To be freed from prison A (mental liberation), and become a Deep One.
6. To endeavor as creators, manifestors of living breathing art.
7. To see “real world” manifestations of the Klan into fruition. Such as continued legal status, real Lodges and monetary growth. To begin the corrosion of prison B (societal liberation)
8. To construct something that lasts of the self beyond death; both internally and externally.
9. To Awaken the A:O.

There are nine Rites in the ISW; Awakening, Heresy, Transmutation, Creation, Mayhem, Sinister, Undertaking, Havoc, and Insidious; they are all interconnected and must be worked in succession as the notes in a scale do. I will get to them in time, but for the moment there is already a great deal to digest. I have been working on this post for far too long as it is. I will leave this enneagram as food for thought in closing. As it shows 9 Rites and 9 Archetypes that I associate to them.

Live Deliberately!


Courageous Heart (a slightly newer poem)

I’m probably doing this all wrong

Only knowing the lyrics of love songs

But pain is something, I’ve known all a long

Its something against which, I can be strong

I can light the darkness until the dawn

Suffer gracefully like nothing is wrong

Support the pillars, so the sky won’t fall

Wrestle Titans and defy divine law

I’ve faced death and wasn’t scared

Lost it all and never cared

Been beaten, broken, and scrutinized

It didn’t stop me from locking eyes

When it comes to one thing

I am without a clue

 How do you go about…

Making someone believe in you?

Do you make your words the sweetest song?

Make them feel as if nothing is wrong?

Tell them all the evil is gone?

Face them; pretending you’re strong?

Trick them, decieve them, or tell them lies?

Never let them see tears in your eyes?

Be everything you know, they don’t despise?

When they call your name, be sure to rise?

Be cruel and heartless, as love sometimes is?

Lose yourself in the passion of the kiss?

Pull them in tight and make a wish?

No doubt, just tiny bumps across the flesh.

One might wonder, why you would want to?

Make someone believe in you

Only pain has proven true,

will you now believe in them too?

When you realize, you somehow made it through

Will you smile and laugh, cause you were a fool?

Make a pledge to yourself; not to be such a tool?

Have a courageous heart and to that be true.

-T.C. Downey 2012


Illuminating The Xeno (a slightly newer poem/mantra)

You are not Special,
You aren’t even who you think you are,
There is nothing original or authentic about you,
You are a carbon copy,
A xerox of life force,
A chain reaction of impulses,
An executed precision of basic programming,
You will not see your dreams realized,
You will drone in the mundane until extinguishment,
Your efforts are a vivid deception,
Truly you aren’t even in motion,
You are not even awake,
Mostly you are in a deep slumber,
Sprinkled with spells of broken sleep,
Your Most High Adepts are at best lucid dreamers,
You’ve made yourself a fraud and a liar,
Afraid of your own potential,
Blind to your birthright,
A sheep on the pasture,
A means to a product,
No god will embrace you,
You’ve refused to embrace yourself,
You’ve forgotten your honor,
Possess nothing of character,
You’ll surely dismiss me,
Cast a circle and falsely pass onto me labels,
But I cannot be bound to you,
Most likely you aren’t worthy of this knowledge,
So you cannot receive me,
For you are a liar,
Claiming you can do nothing of catastrophic proportions,
perception is a farce of smoke and mirrors,
Cast Herme’s Stone,
Shatter the panes,
And glare till the airs crisp,
Might you know the objective in every way possible,
Still you are naive to the nature of the currents,
And cannot deny them,
Your strings plucked in pandemonium,
A runaway puppet,
A beggar and groveling slave,
No master would have you,
To mentor or suffer,
Those you would have tend you,
They shame you and shave you,
They mockingly parade you,
I am no better,
Strike that of these matters,
For I have embraced them,
And I truly struggle,
Against them I grow stronger,
Each time I reach deeper,
Becoming void of the human,
Illuminating the Xeno

-T.C. Downey 2010


More Artwork


Holy War III – Apocalypse (an old poem)

Stained in glory, here before me

No song of victory

In steaming fury, a one man jury

Open the guillotine

An imperial power, his monstrosity towers

Hail the mighty king

For I am but only, a lonely solider

Killing for majesty

Many are like me, living to serve thee

Dying is integrity

Fiercely strong, so we push on

Won’t stop till victory

We didn’t start it, but we’ll finish it

Soldiers of World War III

First come the showers, explosions of power

So wickedly fearsome we are

Then we move through with swiftness, conquer with quickness

So righteously phantoms of death

For our gods and our country, so our sons live peaceably

We smash out the puritan’s seed

In our push for the win, we committed a sin

Underestimating the mankind’s greed

Nobody won World War III

Now that it’s over, no longer a soldier

A vagabong left to be

I remember the hour, of nuclear power

Destroying society

The cities are ruined, species is long gone

Nothing left in the sea

The sun is scorching, the air is on fire

My skin is peeling from me

Soon there will be, nothing left of me

The lone victor of World War III

– T.C. Downey 1992


Eminent Mind’s ReAwakening

Eight years had passed when I reopened this old WordPress. For eight years I have only Worked and manifested offline and only for my immediate benefit. I have to apologize for that, because the truth is I was discouraged by the anonymous-word-soup from those I admired and rampant sycophancy of those I abhor. There are/were those I remain in communication with. Even they are from time to time and lesser as time passes. You see outside the interwebs I don’t have to use any particular set of methods to influence the current to achieve my aims. People are sheep and I recognize this, even the smartest that I interact with still can be sheered with regularity.

Coming back here now, I am almost overwhelmed. However the A:O call to me and it is clear my work here isn’t finished. There is so very much that I simply just intuit it can at times be daunting trying to break things down for ease of reading. You would think being a father that I would have mastered this type of discourse, but there are two factors which disrupt that theory. The first is that my offspring are of me and since birth have been around me, so they understand me and even to some extent think as I do. The other thing is, and I keep this in the forefront of my mind always; you my reader are not children. Hailing from all walks of life and with different degrees of intuition and intelligence. Some are more initiated and others so mundane.

Experience has taught me not to underestimate or overvalue, and so I get lost in a labyrinth of my own design. Simply trying to balance the totality of my gnosis and communicating it effectively. I find myself jealous of writers like Chloe352 and my late comrade Ego Diabolus, they seem to effortlessly put their ideas out there effectively. I realize this is of course a healthy mixture of natural talent and practice as all artwork is. Communication is an artform, perhaps it is the root artform, as all types of art are trying to communicate something to the receptor.

Perhaps this is why I’m drawn back to this artificial disconnect (Interwebs). It is possible with a daily effort and the revealing of all aspects of myself that I might learn to be a more effective communicator. Before I kept different aspects of myself compartmentalized. In hindsight I’ve taken away some of the tools I possess. In effect, giving myself a ridiculous handicap.

My aim has never deterred as you’ll see in poetry I wrote 20-30 years ago. I am singularly focused on sparking change. I know now and have always known this battle will be fought liberating one mind at a time. This is why I have brought back Eminent Mind, DhK, and Beast Xeno. For 30 years I have walked the Lefthand Path, explored the conscious and subconscious alike. For 30 years my deeds in real life have matched my core principals. For all the ritual and practice there has to be one thing that kindles your awakening. So this is for you. I see your prison and am trapped there too. I know your shackles, for I have also felt their weight. It is so much easier a path to just follow the program, but it is empty and hollow. It is forsaken and meaningless.

-Live Deliberately

T.C. Downey