The Autumn chill sets in;
An eerie silence whispers on the wind;
It doesn’t muffle what’s stirring in my head.
All my thoughts seem grim;
This vast emptiness collapsing in;
A hallow chorus chanting “go into the light.”
The light it fades;
Soaked and stained;
Stained by my darkest days.
Darkness bleeds throughout;
Carried by the brush strokes of doubt;
Does nothing ever comfort the screaming?
Where does it start or end;
This madness, I’m slipping in;
Slightly touched by March’s wicked grin.
The laughter dissipates;
Cloaked and weeping;
Weeping for my darkest days.
The new day, asked me why;
Am I wasting his precious time;
Posing questions only answered in my mind.
Might be better if it fails;
Cause there’s no wind to drive the sails;
Thus I am so tired of waiting to exhale.
My time dissipates;
No one else will wait;
Wait out the dawn on my darkest day.
– T.C. Downey/Beast Xeno 2013
It’s got me frustrated
And I can not breathe
An everyday façade
Live out my dreams
Only in fantasies
Sentenced to a prison
Without bars or chains
I pray for demons
I beg for rage
I seduce an explosion
Just to blow up my cage
Lodge me in my throat
So I can swallow this shame
No soldier’s glory
No father’s pride
No recollection of
When my true self died
My impure soul
Finds no redemption
Unwashed and unclean
Just a piece of the machine
by T.C. Downey 1997
Referred to by Lovecraft as the “Great Old Ones” and the “Outer Gods”, I have come to know them as The Ancient Ones. A fictional pantheon created by Lovecraft to build atmosphere in his tales, according to our tradition, the A:O are the primeval archetypes of Aethyr. HPL, by means of his stricken health, may have developed a naturally occurring deep esoteric resonance. Lovecraft inadvertently tapped into something ancient and primordial; a pervasive metaphysical essence at the beginning of all Aeons, which exists outside the physical plane. That same essence began revealing itself by manifesting unspeakable cosmic horrors in the dreams of Lovecraft.
In mankind’s early days, the A:O were nameless gods. Adepts came and went as frequently as the decades passed, each one ascribing a name(s) to the attributes recognized. Each passing generation, trying to find a better way to communicate what the A:O was. Our species lacked the capacity to describe the essence before and within them. At first we could only give it relations to elements in nature which appeared to be supranatural. When we finally mastered the art of anthropomorphization, we had all but forgotten what we were first trying to describe. An essence which was the catalyst that caused man to evolve and one day take our place among the Deep Ones; astral beings transcending dimensional existence as living conduit from which the A:O could return.
The A:O was lulled into a death-like sleep and forgotten by the world. New Gods, that is Lesser Gods; had come to take the place of the cosmic horrors, we had once so revered. Somewhere deep inside the fragments of our being, there is a residual memory of the terrors of mutagenic transformation; but we have long since faded from awareness. As the LG demanded blind obedience to its paradoxical morality, out of fear for our supposedly immortal soul. Mankind fell from our connection to that metaphysical essence (magnetic center). Yet, farther from the true nature of our being.
To the A:O we had become insignificant and irrelevant. Once ripe with so much promise and potential, we had spoiled and rotted away in the once fertile soil from whence we had grown. The LG had poisoned our prana with morality, slavery, and suffering, so that it would be suitable to sustain them. So the Darkhorse’s Work since its inception, has been focused on awakening that resonance of metaphysical essence (magnetic center). To do this we would need to work in a particular direction, and in a particular fashion.
This magnetic center can be thought of as the prisoner part of our self which is emaciated and weak. It cannot live freely. When we begin the Work, it is clear that the cage imprisoning our magnetic center is unlocked. There is no real barrier preventing us from escaping.
Unfortunately, we are far too pathetic to live outside this cage. In order to survive, we must become stronger and more potent. Therefore, to be nourished, our essence (magnetic center) should be observed from the outside occasionally at first, and then with greater frequency. Gaining knowledge of what is happening in the world. The movement between this knowledge and our essence (magnetic center) is called Self-Remembering. Self-Remembering is energy creating tremendous positive (to our benefit) change. Essence is grown stronger and more potent with proper nutrition (the correct work within our centers) and specific impressions of the world. We then can determine the correct action to take based upon the information, experience, and work. Finally leaving the cage, at that point; that our magnetic center can be called the “Real I”.
“Real I” takes over showing us that mundane (puritan) life is not an important thing. Nor is it our optimal focus. Puritan life only gives us the basics and that is if we are fortunate. Our Great Work, on the other hand, is central to becoming more Conscious. When the Work becomes our focus, we are making evolutionary progress towards an aeonic perspective; towards awakening the A:O.
It is important that the reader acknowledge that there is a particular phenomenon being discussed here. Strip away anything thought to be extraordinary, fantastic, or supernatural; something still exists that is undeniable. This essence being discussed seems to be something which can exist outside of our otherwise biomechanical nature. Throughout history you can see one religion after the next all focused in one way or the other upon it. Science can only sort of measure it and only partially explain it. It is one of the chief mysteries that have puzzled thinkers and mystics since the beginning of this Aeon.
Theistic and gnostic relate it to the concept of a “soul” or “spirit”. Maslow labelled it as “self-actualization” and theorized that it could be cultivated to one step even higher. The attainment of a “transpersonal” state. Still none of them seem to wholly capture what, all of us seem to be aware of. That “thing”, that alien essence, in which they all seem to point to; That is The A:O. That is what we must endeavor to awaken. This is the Great Work of the Darkhorse Klan Brotherhood (or just simply called “The Brotherhood”).
Still in progress… but worth a preemptive share.
T.C. Downey/Beast Xeno
(Oath of Klan Brotherhood)
I am not Special.
I know not now who I am.
I possess nothing that is original; barren of authenticity.
My ego is a carbon copy; xeroxed from true life force millenia ago.
A persona constructed by basic programming executed by a string of subconscious impulses.
I am an unwitting slave to the puritan ideological environment.
I have been stripped of my honour and robbed of my potential; expected to be compliant.
Truth now has been spoken!
I will now begin to awaken!
I vow to gain back my HONOUR and strengthen my POTENCY!
Embracing to struggle.
Against this I’ll grow stronger.
Begin to reach deeper.
Then act as a Slyman.
I cannot go alone and become free of my prison.
So I am charged to seek out my own kind.
To spark so that they may see a glimpse of light.
Should fortune have it their own struggle will also ignite.
Let this be our bond forged in more than blood.
Freedom and Purpose of ancient days and future nights.
I pledge on my life to rise with Honour and Klan!
Our 9A:O – The Nine Angled Objectives of Darkhorse Klan (DhK)
1. To seek resonance, to build strength within.
2. To absorb, embody, and evolve the Insidious Way.
3. To tap our potential as Darkhorse and gain supranatural advantages in achieving our Aims.
4. To decimate morality. To reject duality/balance as some higher attainment.
5. To be freed from prison A (mental liberation), and become a Deep One.
6. To endeavor as creators, manifestors of living breathing art.
7. To see “real world” manifestations of the Klan into fruition. Such as continued legal status, real Lodges and monetary growth. To begin the corrosion of prison B (societal liberation)
8. To construct something that lasts of the self beyond death; both internally and externally.
9. To Awaken the A:O.
When I sat down today to write; I had it in my mind that I might tackle “Terror” as a subject matter and perhaps set the record straight (from my perspective anyway). As I fumbled around the internet; looking for things that might really hammer my ideas into a fine point. I stumbled across a blog entry which linked one of the most asinine videos I think I have ever seen. To boot, it was being paraded as “logical”. So I’m going to shelve “Terror” for yet another entry, because I just can’t stomach so much hubris in under 15 minutes. To think, my interests were once peeked by the author of this video. Shame on me.
The main topic of this blog entry (posted on December 21st of 2020) was “satan-ism” with the subtopic being “predatory groups of” satan-ism. In which, 3 videos were linked. I naturally selected the one I was interested in; the Order of Nine Angles. The video took place on November 3rd of 2020 (over 45+ days before the blog entry?? wtf??) and lasted just under 15 minutes. I wasn’t 30 seconds in and my eyes were involuntarily rolling into the back of my head. So much fallaciousness in one spot, it is hard to know exactly where to start, but like all things you aren’t sure about; I’ll just start at the beginning.
Before we get going I want to clarify (in case, over the years I have not) a few things. I am not a part of the inner circle of “Old Guard” and have only had interactions with handful of ONA associates. Some may be currently active, some may be in “away mode”, but I have only recently felt the calling once again to rejoin the interwebs. There is Chloe352 who I’ve talked to a great length via e-mail and other digital exchange mediums. I know her the best out of all of them. I met her on MySatan back in 2007 we conversed because of a common interest in Freemasonry and kind of hit it off from that. Since then there has been a flow of ideas and information exchanged. I have never seen her face and maybe heard her voice 1 time. Still the resonance is there, I know her inner-voice so well that I can spot her “sock” accounts from The first sentence posted. There is Ryan, I’m not sure really where I met Ryan or how we began talking via the interwebs, but it has been since just after meeting Chloe352 ( a year or two at most). I respect Ryan and our exchanges have always been mutually beneficial. Once again though no face, no voice, and this time it might take a little while; but I will spot his “socks”. Then there is MIndfux. I first encountered him on “the 600 club” and later on “S.I.N.”. This was around 2008-2010. After a bit of philosophical and political discourse (a private exchange via telephone and a guest appearance(s) on The Ooze), he invited me to work with him and several others I know in his (defunct??) L316 Nexion. Our two agendas and philosophical/political leanings lined up. Even though I AM NOT by nature a joiner; if I think the cause is worthy I will align myself. With L316 the stars were perfectly aligned. Finally Dan Dread who also participated in L316. Dan, I had known since just prior to Ryan and interacted with him via internet chatroom, e-mail, forums (S.I.N., 600, and CoMS), and general trolling on a daily basis for a few years. Razor sharp, that kid is for sure. That’s it my whole connection laid-out for all to see. Never exchanged with Anton Long, Christos Beest, or really anyone else to my knowledge. Well that’s only kind of true, Jall and I did have a brief exchange or two via PM.
So what was the point of that long winded history lesson? I’m writing this now; completely of my own accord and not perpetuating some “Socio-political master agenda”. The reason you see the Sigil in the sidebar of this site is because through my study of a large amount of texts and interactions with associates (those described listed above), I have determined that my aim, mindset, and beliefs are kindred to the ONA. Sure there are some variances and disagreements, but nothing that would warrant throwing the baby out with the bath water. Does that even make me O9A? How about you decide for yourself?
Now on to the “logic” that I found to be just as wanting as the beard on his face. Traditional Satan-ism as ascribed by the O9A is the ONLY valid satan-ism. The fact that I have to even point this out pains me considerably. You base your whole argument on 3 conditions:
- ONA has an agenda
- ONA are evil and participate in/encourage crime
- ONA view satan-ism as a tool or entry point.
The fact that you are using your own experience of juvenile antics and costume play to suppose; that all of the rest of us have a “super-villain mentality” is extremely telling. What is even more telling, is that you clearly mention “socially acceptable behavior”; as if anyone should give a fuck what is socially acceptable. It is no wonder to me at all, that you believe you are being manipulated to “do something really fucking stupid”. You certainly are being duped, but it isn’t by the O9A kid; you are lying to yourself. You are not a satanist, from what I can see you’re a “dark neo-pagan” and that’s giving you a lot of wiggle room. If you were actually putting in ANY Work at all, you should have gleaned these things by now:
Satan-ism IS an entry point; because once you understand the theory, doctrine, and system; and you have put them into practice; you will realize that you have been or are being Satanic. You have become like Satan! THIS is why you are encouraged to aspire to commit crime. It is the knowledge/gnosis gained from each act that moves you away from your magian/puritan mundane existence. Praxis is where you gain YOUR power and that is true anywhere on the LHP. If you don’t get that… I’m sorry Forrest, but this ain’t your box of chocolates. Satan is not a spiritual path or religion, that shit is for puritan posers like yourself.
Does the Order of Nine Angles have an agenda? Yes. Will they use whatever tactics, deeds, or manipulation necessary to accomplish it? Fuck Yes! Is western ideology, values, and society a festering fucking cancer to our species? You ARE DEAD FUCKING RIGHT! This crybaby culture of i-wannabe-specialism; those who just want to put on their little ceremonial robes, do a few lines of yayo, and rub one out by the candle light as they chant some silly bastardized latin phrases without paying in to the Current; is the calling card of society’s rotting stench. It is by their description, that we are inherently evil, and so what?? So fucking be it! Aren’t you late for Sunday School?
T.C. Downey (I will proof read later)
Welcome back interwebs. I cannot really say I’ve missed you. There has been a couple of recent events that have brought me back to this domain. First the passing of my dear old friend, who once authored posts in this collection of various entries; Jason Sorrell / Ego Diabolus. Jason passed away on 2/22/2021. I’m not certain the particulars of why he passed so young. Nor do I care to disclose what information, I do possess about this event. Let us just celebrate the life of a man that truly lived a Satanic life. Jason understood the current on a very intuitive level, as well as, on a highly sophisticated philosophical and psychological level. He had the ability to dissertate his understanding on a very practical level. You can view his postings in right column under his name. I implore you to do so.
Speaking of having the ability to communicate very large complex concepts in a very practical manner; this brings me to the second event which has spawned my reemergence. I was recently contacted by yet another gifted thinker and also dear old friend, Chloe also known as Chloe352. This was a completely arbitrary event and though she inquired on Jason’s well being, she was totally unaware of his passing. Pure happenstance but it struck a resonance within me; one which I can only view it as providence. She was touching base with me, and filling me in on some less personal events she knew would interest me. It seems the ONA has recently caught the attention of different government agencies not just domestic but in various other regions of the world. You can read about it yourself on the o9a.org WordPress. I was informed that a few orgs and public figures had also passed, disappeared, or are in their death throws.
This opened my eyes to the current state of “satanism”. Notice I left the word lowercase. Chloe; in Nexion Zine 7.1 astutely points out that -ism is a distinctive doctrine, theory, system, or practice. Not a religion, not in my eyes anyway. I like to take Occam’s Razor and shave it right to the bone. You see to me, satan-ism is the doctrine, theory, system, practice of being satanic. That’s right kiddies, its an action; it’s something you do. More accurately, it is the way things are to be done. A search on google, reveals one sad, sad fact there is very little satan-ism going on out there, at least as a movement. I cannot speak for or about folks on an individual level, I; myself live a very satanic lifestyle and have not really contributed to the tradition in any aeonic sense. For a brief time I may have carried a little notoriety, but that’s probably just my own vanity talking. It’s now time to change that. So I’m calling myself out; I’m calling you out!
You may be thinking to yourself, “I am a troo satanist! I live my life by the core concepts of it. My deeds do in fact match my ideals. Why is it my responsibility to contribute?”, however for those words to be truthful; consider this. The mandate is intertwined in the very meaning of the words chosen to mascot this “system of being”, satan literally means “adversary; one who plots against” and devil; slanderer, accuser. So if you think being a hokey-halloween hung over- hack with a hedonistic appetite and a love for horror movies is sufficient to demonstrate solidarity; you are a fucking poser, plastic, a fraud, a fake, and you are not who I’m talking to right now. I could give two fucks, if you overdosed on 30 hits of LSD while getting ass-fucked by a gang of midget orangutans, as you performed a black mass ritual, live on TinyChat with a billion followers as witness. You are still a counterfeit and you will be culled.
Culling what an eerie word, no matter in what sense you are discussing it. Oxford says it is a reduction of a wild animal population by selective slaughter and the action of sending an inferior or surplus farm animal to be slaughtered. One might wonder the meaning when I say “no matter the sense you are discussing it.” when the definition is rather particular. You see there are other deaths besides physical ones. A physical death seems rather crude and non-congruent when placed in context of satan-ism and being satanic. Rather pointless and hollow then. Where’s the plotting? What would you be being adverse to? Where’s the slander and what of the accusation? Though there might be momentary gratification, ultimately there’s nothing really Satanic, maybe satanic in some instances, but nothing capital about it. It does nothing for the aeonic calling.
Instead slaughtering your credibility and use of the theory that you might be satanic (a yes its barely a theory), seems more fitting an undertaking. So if this fits you, maybe start calling yourself what you are; false. Because I have returned and I am your enemy.
Agios o Baphomet! Agios o Baphomet!
I have a bit of a confession to make. I suppose here is as good of a place as any. What I have to say here is this, I am and always have been mystically inclined; despite my lack of ignorance to the potential of peril in its line of thinking. My eyes see the world around me as one living thing. When I close them, if I didn’t know better; I swear I could hear the universe pulsing. My skin does this strange thing as I feel the airs passing between spaces, though I cannot explain it; it as if I can sense the disposition of the elements surrounding me. In the same way, I am often alerted to other presences in my general vicinity. To worsen matters, for as long as I can remember; I have always experienced a distinct sense of purpose. First when I was younger, I rationalized this as being predestined for something ‘greater’. As I grew older, my views shifted to it being more likely I held some function; that in fact, we all serve some function.
Perhaps this notion, could be something as fantastically romantic as; a charging coil in some abstract machine ruled reality. I sometimes entertain my mind with some epic saga of conquest and destiny. What becomes most interesting to me, is that my self induced delusions are never those of grandeur or glory. Nothing noble, no stride to save humanity. I think this speaks volumes, when contrasted with an understanding that; every event in my life has seemed to be pushing me in a way that, I could only be who I’ve become. Is Fate the seductress undeniable? Might it be I’ve always enjoyed the liberty of choice? Do I choose piety to the gods of probability and determination?
I can honestly say, that which has already transpired; has shaped the essence I bare to date. Defiance, transgression, honour, and aggression; are but a few of my virtues. I know the events that attributed to their dominance within me. As long as I can remember, I have looked to the splendor of flesh and bone. For all that man is, I marvel at its manifestation; man so vainly, failing miserably. No creature is born so wickedly cunning and insidious; to believe itself so above its environment, and yet cry for the carnage it leaves in its wake.
“A lion sleeps in the heart of every brave man.” – Turkish Proverb
Bravery means to dare or defy. This isn’t a passive action, this is an act of ferocity, brutality, and fearlessness. This is why our comparison is made to the lion. Lions are unforgiving and deliberate in their transgressions. Men can be much more ‘brave’ then lions. As a child I watched Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom a lot; it was beautiful to watch the lion take down its prey. Yet it held no more horror, than the autumn harvest being reaped.
Which brings me now to the reaping. Legends say there once was a Black Son who harvested an entire ‘Golden Age’ by the castration of his father. The Black Son represents an aeon so primal, fertile, and in many regards by today’s standards would be consider corrosive. For the Slyman though, it reveals itself an enlightenment of Vindex. This was the time of the first Titans, destined to be usurped and swallowed back up by the same darkness they sought to illuminate. During those days, ordinary men trembled under the unspeakable terrors that seemed to permeate all of existence, but extraordinary men reached deep into the fertile terrifying corrosion carving from it; embracing the enlightenment of Aeonic Calling. They were the first Titans. They gave rise to gods, which in turn gave rise to more Titans that then gave rise to more gods; each marks an Aeon. Through the presence of the darkness, by drunken indulgence in the very essence of life; the Titans embraced the calling, and reaped their plunder. Essentially redefining what we are capable of as human. That is why they were Titans. That is why we ourselves must become Titans.
Necromancy will be used to describe a particular set; drawing a minor relative reference to its established understandings. The descriptor, Necromancy was chosen due to its association to ‘invocation’ of (working of) past/alternate spirits. It is should be easily concluded that, we are drawing upon its synonymous interchangeability with ‘nigromancy’; meaning ‘black divination’; at least upon the completion of this text. It should be understood, that there is a special context in which ‘invocation’, ‘spirit’, ‘divination’, and other such ‘hot’ words are used . They will always be distinguished by ‘ ‘, as to continually build the context in which they are understood.
I offer no apologies for the institution of specialized language within this/or any other text produced by me. Put simply, it is the nature of language; that words adopt contextualized meaning. Language is a peculiar phenomenon, by its own nature both evolving and esoteric. It is in our very use that we find a vergence . It can be demonstrated that the right set of words, used at the right point in time; can ‘invoke ‘ (open) a channel of understanding in both the conscious, and subconscious often triggering action. There are those that would argue against the merits of N.L.P., hypnotism, and psychology (and whatever else fits into this category of science) as pseudosciences. Yet the proven effectiveness of advertising alone, makes small work of the matter. Reflecting upon, the recent national election ; I am convinced strung together the right way, (no matter the bullshit associated with) words hold power. That ladies and gents, is the key to ‘invocation’ nut-shelled.
‘Spirit’ is a dirty word these days. Which conjures up thoughts of the ‘supernatural’, mystical, and ghostly phenomena. For most these days, those are a hard pill to swallow. Since there is virtually no empirical evidence to substantiate Substance Dualism, this is understandable. This IS NOT the state of what I have imagined ‘spirit’ would be, it has been my understanding that ‘spirit’ was in interchangeable with ‘intensity’. Yet I cannot stress the peculiarity of the sense, I am describing. I contend to be in the ‘spirit’; simply means to manifest traits with intensity.
When you have school ‘spirit’, you emulate characteristics thought to represent that school. When a debate is ‘spirited’; it is because the arguing position’s intensity, gives it ‘spirit’. When your ‘spirits’ are high, we are talking about manifesting an emotional state that is intensely euphoric. If understood properly, it is describing a psycho-transformative state of a physical material. When I more properly examine it, it seems to hold qualities comparable to a ‘possession’. ‘Spirit’ seems to be acted through or itself acts through.
I then can understand where the muddling of ‘spirit’ moves into a ‘super natural’ stigma. A disciplined mind can make the distinction; we are not describing a non-material thing. Rather we are isolating a state/force enacting on a material thing for the purposes of examination, discussion, and enaction. No bogey-men required. Given you accept the premises laid out in the above few paragraphs; ‘Invoking’ the ‘spirit’ of Satan is calling for an intense manifestation of traits thought to represent Satan.
From this we are beckoned the question of why; why ‘invoke’ the ‘spirit’ of Satan? Why ‘invoke’ any ‘spirit’ at all? ‘Divination’ is the answer that firmly resounds to these ‘considerations’. Traditionally ‘divination’ is understood as the use of ‘super natural’ means to find out about the future or the unknown. This definition is deceptive to our conventional senses. What is deemed as ‘super natural’, is often accompanied with a spooky ghostly context; occurring outside the natural order. I contend, nothing can occur outside of the natural order. Even if we construct our model from a traditional scenario, within which we propose a haunting; it still verges within the natural order. I realize this is a plea on The Alchemy, but The Necromancy is not exclusive. The Alchemy tells us all things emerge within the natural order, exist as a transformative vergence; which is interconnected . So why do we in this one occurrence, assume a pejorative correlation to super? Am I mistaken to the paramount qualities of something super? Accepting the traditional understanding of ‘divination’ ; does this not mean the use of predominant, prime, supreme, and key means to finding out the future or unknown? To paraphrase Gurdjieff, one of my main influences; words truly only mean one thing. Words like other tools (means) of man’s design, when studied, understood, and practiced can become ‘super natural’.
Tonight’s word means ‘black divination’ ; Necromancy. ‘Black’ because unlike The Alchemy which seeks purification (simplification) through transmutation, it seeks absorption (complexification) through consumption. Necromancer’s seek to add to their field of influence, assimilation provides a rational means to this end. Not to simply “find out” the future or unknown, but to hold influence over them. To that effect, The Necromancer is a ‘black art’.
“I would like to see the concept of divination more correctly defined. Divination is often assumed to be a quest for information about the future. Rather, it is a quest simply for information, with which the person equipped can design the future.” – Jason Sorrell
An Alchemist’s aim is take something commonplace, and make it rare. Which in the end, alludes to all things having the potential to be rare. Necromancy has a different idea entirely.
In my discussion of ‘invocation’, I pointed to the idea, “words have power”. I hinted to the idea that, by understanding its meaning, relations, and intensities; you steadily tune the ability to wield it. Thereby essentially further complexifying the field of influence. As the intensification reaches iconic proportions, an embodiment of ‘spirit’ is recognizable. It is the ‘possession’ of/by this ‘spirit’ in which, The Necromancer; craft manifests.
As I sit staring out the window, at the trees swaying in the breeze; my mind relaxes. I tune into the symphony that dances before me. All of existence pulsating in a sea of living vibrancy. Mesmerized by the seemingly endless stream of continuous connectivity, projecting from my consciousness outward; simultaneously acting in each plane and manifesting in the next. I am aware of the wondrousness that is being. So clearly I see the supernatural, and know it isn’t what it has been made out to be; instead something much more.
Do not mistake this for superstition. I am firmly grounded without the hysterics of ignorant falsity. Tangibly and verifiable, the sorcery is exploding in a fantastic supernova; engulfing everything imaginable and always. Though at this moment, I am only its witness; at times I am its composer, and at others its agent. I recognize that I may choose any role within it, I simply must recognize how it is connected to me. Like any great Magus, a gesture made, a symbol drawn, the calling of a name, or a chant in whisper; might give me the power to bend the folds of reality.
One relationship, I’ve develop an interest in unlocking the secrets to; is the self as primal, carnal, and ephemeral. Is it not the ivory skeleton-key carved out to open all the doors of potential? I celebrate its induction, codifying it by denoting it symbolically as a skull. What a potent representation, which saturates my mentations as I struggle to understand Influences; how they affect me, and how I can wield them. One might wonder, out of all the eligible symbols to represent our being; why the skull?
The temple which houses all that we know and all that we are. The fortress of mind and soul. It is a flaccid and malleable frame, for that which enters this world first. In life its contents are the key to unlocking understanding and potential. Long after the last breath escapes, after the flicker’s echo is gone; it still haunts its final bed. A worthy pot for the blooming bulbs of experience. No other symbol speaks so strongly of mortality.
This beautiful totem has been vilified, blossoming into the most feared representation of all time. Adorning all that the puritan mandate deems harmful and destructive. The Slyman recognizes it as the Chalice of Consciousness. Depicted above; nested in the center of the three points of self, within the enneagram. Is this the vile symbol of death and destruction, or the chamber of thought; or both?
Tsun Tzu said “Know thyself, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories.”, “All men can see these tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved.”, and “Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness.Thereby you can be the director of the opponent’s fate.”
I have sworn an oath to a lifelong discipline, of creating a self which has the awareness, foresight, ability, and strength to recognize and overcome seemingly insurmountable odds. Seeking out and utilizing every technique, tool, tradition, weapon, power, and philosophy which lends to producing this result. Just as the magician over time, learns and develops new tricks and perfects the old ones; this Darkhorse is constantly evolving to expand my repertoire. I am certain most would wonder why; why undertake this discipline? The answer to that lies in the three quotes from The Art of War.
To know thyself is an ages old pilgrimage, undertaken to some extent by all of man. Some journey just far enough to come only to a superficial understanding of themselves. Discovering just enough to feel justified in claiming authority over themselves, and therefore assuming qualification to lead other men to themselves. Never recognizing their transformation into detractors of consciousness. You see consciousness lies, not in knowing some cosmic truth; but in the stride to attain that truth.
“And all cosmic truths become known to everyone on those planets because those beings who by their conscious efforts learn some truth or other share it with others, and in this way, little by little, all cosmic truths become known to all the beings of that planet, whatever may be their aspirations and degree of self-perfecting.” Gurdjieff – Beelzebub’s Tales
Notice Gurdjieff does not mistake ‘truths’ for consciousness in the above quote, nor does he seem greatly concerned with revealing these truths. He plainly says that all cosmic truths become known, regardless of the aim or qualification of the seeker. Seemingly, as if we were to just sit back and wait; all truths will be revealed to us over time. So if we accept this as a truth, the natural question arises; why then did Gurdjieff conceive of The Work?
“For, as I have said and written many times over the decades, our attack on the Old Order, on the mundanes and their societies and their governments, is on many levels, just as our esoteric Order – our association of sinister individuals – exists on many levels, each with a task, a goal, and each attracting, evolving, individuals of a certain type, a certain sinister nature. This is how a living-being is: complex; of various diverse forms ultimately (esoterically) co-operating in certain ways (whether consciously or unconsciously) to enhance, to increase, to reproduce and extend, the life of the living organism to which they belong.
Thus Vindex and our tribes are exoteric signs of our living, of our acausal presence in the causal world of the mundanes, and of a new type of life coming-into-being on this planet we have called Earth.” – Anton Long
Long like Gurdjieff and Tsun Tzu, recognizes that transformation is inevitable; save that which is in the hands of the potter. To shape the pot however, requires you know many things on many levels. You must know your hands, you must know the clay, and you must know the wheel. If you don’t know the fire, you’re left with a weak pot. Should your mind be without a clear image, you cannot draw its shape. So for this it must be practiced, worked at; grown.
I wanted to put these thoughts down, as a primer for a future post. If you have thoughts, I’d like to hear them. “A thousand battles, a thousand victories”, so subtle is it not? The Puritan Mandate needs purged, should you aim to rise above. Diligent and deliberate, two of the hallmarks of The Insidious Way.
No one recognizes the Darkhorse!
I haven’t much time to write lately. However that time is coming to an end soon. Once again, I will be moving minds with a dense net of words and images. Though I am not certain, I think I do well in being clear, concise, and direct in communication. Though there are always implied, and underhanded meanings throughout my writings; they are always discoverable. It is because of this, that my stay has attracted a cast of great minds. At one point, I took an organization (which was practically dead before me), and breathed life into it. Of course the intellectual contributions were not mine alone, but the ability to draw minds together, is solely mine.
I must remark; I thought I would have an opportunity to do such again, only on a greater scale than some ‘organization’. Unfortunately for whatever reasons it has not panned out thus far. Still there is an air about of unfinished business. The drive to forward shape the clay of experience. Not only my own, but offer others perspective; and in turn carve a piece right from the potter’s wheel, in front of them.
Perhaps it is the cryptic messages, and uncertainty of potential for loyalty; which offer disparity in reaching beyond a distant admiration of ideas. I’ve seen things, which make me believe (ie.. references to things of interest to me); my calling is still there , but there is no direct contact; that for me is a problem. Yet they whispers on the wind, like oak trees in the midnight hollow during autumn; to me. Singing silent songs, of an insidious, and sinister tradition married far in the future; they have been torn back, and haunt now their ancient roots.
So vividly, I can see the Darkhorses emerging; rising to work their alchemy of mindfucking. Conjuring with gesture, and prose so potent; they alone threaten to bend the space time continuum. Mages of madness piercing frontal lobes, in a frenzy of infectious ideas; scorning all that is common place. Unlocking the deep. Peeling layer for layer; the husk of complacency, and benign. Baleful, savage, and wanton; yet still crafty and calculated this is the insidious way. Slymen are not of rigid mind, observing and adapting to what works best; suffering the always changing, ever-volving strategy from the core outward.
I will continue doing, what I am doing; regardless of whom I am affiliated. However should some wish to sweeten the pot, by offering intellectual and paradigmatic interaction; the stars alone know its limits. Minds are meant to meld, in a sea of tantric interchange; giving rise to new visions of lucid vibrancy. Shall we dance?
Mark was the kind of guy who while being a literal leech to every person he interacted with, pranced around like his shit just didn’t stink. Nevermind that the stench of him permeated with such vile grotesqueness, not even the pope could stomach a whiff. When I first met this guy, he bragged about being independently wealthy, a real cocksmith, and the undiscovered heavyweight champion of the world. He only had one hardship, despite his mental superiority and physical prowess; he was unable to find good weed at a good price. So this is why he came to me, I happened to be one that found things.
He decided to court me and my boy Jason. It seemed like an effort to try to get the real price and a solid in. For a few weeks we rode his jet ski’s, cooked out at his condo on a private beach, and smoked the dope he’d paid for. I was waiting for Jason one day, to pick me up so we could go pick up our order. My pager went off, and go figure it was Jason letting me know; he was running a bit behind. I put in a phone call to Scott (The Great Ape), just to make sure he didn’t getting cranky. I always dug The Great Ape, Scott was the guy who told me; “There are really only two kinds of drug dealers, those that don’t use forklifts; and those that do.” What a great philosophy. Needless to say he was a busy man and would get cranky if you fucked up his mojo. He said if Jason, didn’t show within two hours; I should head there regardless. I paged Jason 20 minutes, before I had to leave for Scott’s house. He finally called back and said “Sorry man, I’ve been at Mark’s house; have you met up with Great Ape yet?”.
I explained to him, I was just getting ready to leave in 5 minutes. He asked me to swing by Mark’s house after, and do him a solid. Fucking with him, I asked him what was in it for me; his reply stumped me. He said “I’m sure Mark’s wife will suck your cock; its for her, hell she’s been sucking mine all day.” When it hit me I was half way to Scott’s house, like a light bulb flipped on; he wasn’t fucking around. Shit was about to get interesting, I just knew it. Jason was prone to getting us into trouble, one of my favorite things about him. When I got to Scott’s, he comes out to my car and climbs in, and announces I’m taking him to Taco Bell. First though, we were gonna smoke the fuck out. Scott had trouble rolling a joint, the only way he could do it was to attach four papers together; so he was used to smoking about an 8th in each sit in. That is why we called him “The Great Ape”; dude was monstrous in size; and smoked more dope than the entire staff at Hanna-Barbera combined.
So Scott tells me he talked to Jason this morning, and chuckled that Jason has been pounding Mark’s wife for the last week or so. He continues on to tell me, that according to Jason; Mark is not the one who is wealthy, rather it is his wife who has the money. Apparently she asked Jason, if Mark had been cheating on her; and he told her he had in fact been doing so, and bragging about it after. Which I knew to be fact, Mark was always bragging about rubbing his cock into his wife’s mouth; right after having ‘nailed’ some girl 2 doors down. The Great Ape and I settled up, had some tacos; shortly after that I got a 911-911 page from Jason. I dropped Scott off and headed over to Mark’s house. When I got there, she had convinced Jason to pack up Mark’s stuff into a U-Haul, and they wanted me to help break all the shit she had bought him. We started with his jet skis tossing them against the sea-wall over and over again.
When the fun was over, we went inside so I could settle up; and we could get the fuck out of there. I told her what she ordered, I usually charged Mark 1200 for, but in light of her letting us break some shit, I would take 200 off of it. She handed me 1500, and said it was Mark’s allowance for the month; and she didn’t want the smoke. Just then Mark came home, and had apparently noticed the U-Haul with jet ski bits surrounding it. I sat back in the chair chuckling as I watched things get all ‘Melrose Place’. Suddenly Mark was standing over the top of me, screaming in my face. I kindly reminded him, none of this was really my problem. I wasn’t the one fucking around on my wife, I wasn’t the one fucking his wife; and the shit I broke belonged to her and she’d asked me to break it. He stopped for just a second and started going after Jason, so I stood up between them. Now he was back in my face.
“You think you’re all big and bad don’t you”
“You aren’t as bad as me motherfucker!”
“You better sit the fuck down TC (with some emphasis on it), or I’m gonna crack your fucking skull.”
I just laughed in his face. I told him he didn’t have the sack to hit me, but if he wanted to start something; he would be measured. He backed down, and Jason and I left. Jason kissed his wife on the way out. This left Mark and his wife firmly at each others throats as we exited the building. When we got back to Jason’s house, he started telling me how things had gone down in the week prior. Right then my pager went off, it was Mark. I called him back, evidentially it wasn’t enough to motivate him to punch me over Jason fucking his wife; but now he knew I had his money and he had no weed. He claimed he was coming for me now.
I never saw Mark again. Now he was just another bit of fiction like the rest.
The smell of the gasoline was kind of making me nauseous. This wasn’t normal for me, I think maybe my nerves had pumped too much adrenaline into my system. Up till now, I’d never done anything this serious. Pocketing shit, fights, some public defacements, a few fires, smoking dope, and skipping school; it isn’t like I’d really thought any of that shit out. Things sometimes just happen. Most everything I had done was on a whim. This though, this was different; so many things were contingent upon this one act. It wasn’t so much about the cash I stood to earn; I was a messenger entrusted to be heard loud and clear.
Looking over at Daniel, I decided to go back over the plan with him. Shit had to run like clock work, and there was no fucking way, I was going to jail. We’d been boys for a few years now, and this wasn’t some corner-store bait and snatch; so I checked myself. I started thinking about D’s integrity. If this thing was gonna back fire, it was not going to be on me; I’m a big picture man, a natural strategist, and worst of all I am methodical. I knew D was wreckless enough to do the deed, I never questioned his competence in that aspect. What I wondered about was where his loyalties lied. What if shit did take a turn for the worst, would it be every man for himself? I could see that being a very logically derived conclusion; self-preservation prevailing.
I remember just as we were walking up to the car, Daniel stopped for a second and said “T… We are brothers right?”. It seems, I wasn’t the only one taking stock. I looked him square in the eyes and said ” I gotcha man, besides I make this look easy…”. I busted the window out, and he immediately started dousing the interior. As we started walking away you could already smell that ‘burnt wire’ scent. I started thinking to myself, this would’ve been so much better; had there been an explosion. That really didn’t matter though, regardless this sack of shit’s ride was gonna be blacker than; the line out the door on ‘All you can eat Tuesday’ at Sonny’s BBQ.
The best part here was that this douche bag had it coming to him, at least from what I had been told. I always fancied the term “honor among thieves”, this was a prime example of why. It is better to take your licks and feign ignorance to anyone else being involved. There is always someone willing to fuck up your day for a tennis ball canister full of Indigo and a few hundred bucks cash. In fact some might do it for less. I understood that your ‘name’ or ‘word’ was all you had in this life. Nobody likes a spineless coward, and actions have consequences.
Turns out Daniel kept his mouth shut, the crackling of dancing sparks above the tree line; was the last I ever heard of that night. In time, I would find out that even your closest allies; may at some point forsake any pact you’ve made. They may choose to act without that ‘honor’, they may even get themselves put in prison for 30 years to avoid paying the piper; their day will come regardless.
You gotta love fiction…
Everyone is born into this world with the notion that we are not perfect, only this notion; does not come from inside of us. Society gives us this ideal image of a ‘person’ for us to model ourselves by. Religions, governments, parents, siblings, extended family, and peers push it on us; fuck, they demand it of us! Everyone else has their own idea of how you should think, behave, and what you should value; especially when it in some way involves them. Now we could debate the need for these models, but I think there is something far more telling and intriguing to examine. The belief paradox.
I’m not sure which came first, the chicken or the egg; I suspect they’ve always held a temporal superposition. This is because one extreme seems to be the cause of its opposite and vice versa. I suspect that why we hold others to a standard, is because we were held to that standard ourselves. I also suspect that why we hold ourselves to a standard, is because others hold us to a standard. We believe the standard set, is the correct one; because it seems rooted in simple logical axioms.
Do not lie, because you would not want to be lied to. Do not steal, because you would not want stolen from. Do not kill, because you want to live. Do not cheat, because you would not want cheated. We weave together a construct of idealistic behaviors with little regard and appreciation for the value of divergence or imperfection. We bolster high, an imagined self (person); one in which we are in deep identification with. We imagine, when the moment comes for any particular ‘situation‘ we will act in a manner consistent to these logical axioms; more often though we surprise ourselves. What we find is that we act instead towards, what some have deemed our nature. Nature however is not unmovable, in fact it functions on principles of conditioning. Trees and plants grow towards sunlight, water, and minerals and are conditioned to which direction they can draw the path of least resistance.
At this point, I think it is necessary to introduce a premise of importance to this evaluation. My friend and colleague, Jason King has stated to me on several occasions; that “All knowledge, rests on the shoulders of a supposition”. All things considered ‘fact’ can be deconstructed to a level in which we can only draw a logical assumption. Once again I find no necessity to debate the validity of this argument for belief. Instead I wish to point to the paradoxical nature of belief and knowledge, as once again I find a patterned recurrence. The temporal superposition held by the two, feeds one into the formation of the other, and vice versa.
Still what can this mean for the existence of our imagined self, and our natural self? Do they even hold some separation? If we are to imagine that we would dislike a particular ‘thing‘, and we then by means of supposition refuse to engage it; does that offer a logical evaluation? Do we truly know this ‘thing’ to be without benefit? Yet we are encouraged to let the things we believe shape our natural self. In fact, I see a lot of would be philosophical movements pressing the idea that belief is reality.
“We are mind and body: if mind and body (inasmuch as they
belong to the world of maya) are false, how can one hope to achieve
through them that which is true?” Strictly speaking, the extremist
Vedantic doctrine of maya would therefore deny to the individual
the very possibility of elevating oneself toward the principle, since
such a possibility presupposes that between these two no hiatus
exists (a relationship between not-being and being), but rather a
certain continuity. – J. Evola – The Yoga of Power
The above quote from Evola, delivers a razor sharp assessment of the matters being discussed here. If everything is an illusion, how then can we evaluate ourselves and the world abroad? If belief is reality, then why when I believe that pigs shit rainbows and airplanes; do I not see pens full of prism-ed aircraft? Mind you, we must still deal with the paradox; which presses its head so violently into this puzzle.
As a note of side thought, Evola makes mention in “The Yoga of Power” that the doctrine of maya is drawn from the principle of an unchanging absolute. Furthering by stating that any thing outside of that absolute can only be illusionary (he is examining the Vedantist position). This boldly contrasts everything I’ve come to expect from ‘fact’ and how it takes form. Pointing back at Jason King’s assertion, we see a mirror opposite emerge. This emergence is the basis of formulation for The belief paradox; which is expressed as such;
All knowledge, rests on the shoulders of supposition, therefore belief must be the basis of reality; if reality is whatever we believe, how can anything truly be known?
My examination then leads me to a particular line of thinking. There are real and present manifestations; which are both uncompromising and completely malleable. The Slyman recognizes the conditions within them, in which can be manipulated to his own ends. To achieve this, he must endeavor to truly know them; suspending all belief in favor of knowledge. Through this knowledge he escapes the paradoxical imposition of standards upon self, enacting the organic self; abandoning the path of least resistance. To know thyself is almost as difficult as it is to be thyself, this is why we Work.
January 28th of 1985 – The all-star cast of USA for Africa records its egalitarian mega-anthem “We Are The World”. A young couple is walking out of a cinema, having just seen; Star Trek III. Yes, indeed, the air wreaks like a youth group camping retreat filled with interlocking hands and unity songs. Just 13 days prior, Tancredo Neves was elected as the new Brazilian President ending its 21 year military rule. 5 days later, President Ronald Regan was sworn in for his second term. Later that year Regan will sit down for the first time with Gorbachev. The first Nintendo game system is released, complete with Super Mario Bros. Calvin and Hobbes appears in 35 papers. Microsoft released Windows 1.0. The peace sign adorns most ‘pop’ merchandise and accessories. People far and wide are bombarded with a constant media exposure to two ideas.
Terror was the first of these ideas. The Cold War, Japan Air # 123, The quakes of Santiago and Valparaiso, and the UK’s National ‘Glow-Worm’ Day are exemplary evidence to support this idea. Civil unrest, cultural tension, and the threat of a nuclear world war; flow constantly and are ever present in television, radio, newspapers, movies, music videos, and comic books. It seemed as though all of humanity had finally opened their eyes to the brutal nature of the world. The bleeding hearts cried loudly for equality, the religious zealots preached fire and brimstone, and Coca-Cola fans protested to get the original formula back in production. Society was paralyzed by the fright of what cruelties our fellow man is capable of.
The second of these ideas, the undercurrent of the first, was either directly featured or the assumed logical solution for the abhorrent state of the world; Unity. Interestingly an multifaceted allegorical representation of this idea exists; 1985 was the year the GNU Manifesto was written. Stallman got it on some levels, but the software community back then was relatively small. Imagine if the whole world was in fact reflective of open source software. Suppose we all started off as this kernel of a person and then small modifications were made to our functionality, and finally we were given different aesthetics; would we not still be the same as the rest? After all Ubuntu and Fedora are still both Linux based, just repackaged and accessorized differently.
Strangely however, this does seem to be the case. Perhaps we are content in our individuality being surface deep. We are taught that prejudice, intolerance, immorality, and many other potentially beneficial modes of thinking are wrong; this forces us to make modifications beyond their debugged kernel. You will see this repeat on many different levels, and it always points back to the same idea. We here at Eminent Mind might even be no better; but we are striving to be different. We recognize that sociopolitical pressures force a certain debugging process to our core self. The GCr mandates behavioral and cognitive protocols. The Puritan Mandate and the Assimilative Automation are two of such protocols which are counter to the natural Calling and Intentional Considering.
You are expected to comply by the order of Assimilative Automation. We are convinced that we cannot exist outside of the system. You must be participatory, and should you choose not to be; well we all know they’ll slap you right back in line. To forward this agenda, we are constantly encouraged to do 3 things; reestablish, conform, and be compliant. History shows that for people in lower social classes the best strategy is communal living. Living in the extended family (clan) gives reinforcement of security and resources, yet we are told to go off to college and then settle wherever a position opens in the particular field of training you’ve received. In the event you establish in your home town, certain factors will always arise to break a part the clan unit.
Employers will offer the opportunity for advancement at the cost of relocation. Regulations are placed on how many people can occupy one building, and how many buildings can occupy one piece of land. In 1971 another factor was put in place that also continued the dilution of community, Swann v. Charlotte-Mecklenburg Board of Education the Supreme Court ruled unanimously that forced busing of students may be ordered to achieve racial desegregation. Which in 1985 was nearing its peak. Not only was this forcing cultural conformity, but because of the difficulty parents were having with distance of schools from their residence and layered times different grades would start and end; it was wearing on the harmony of the traditional nuclear family. Creating a feeling of alienation from heritage and family, an insurmountable detachment; left what little security and reliance had remained vaporized.
Songs like “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”, “We Don’t Need Another Hero”, and ” Jungle Love” saturate the airwaves of 1985 running rampant on the billboard. At the same time a team of executives are discussing the viral success of the then 4 year old MTV. Never before had it been so easy to commercialize popular trends. What would come next was the result of a century long thrust.
To Be Continued…
From this, we are given the impression; that everything is hinged together in a logical sequence of events which accidentally produced man. The universe is nothing more than a senseless systematic chain reaction that is blind and without purpose to the logical. As we attempted to accurately detail the processes and mechanisms of the universe, we fail disastrously to take into account in our calculations; conscious experience. We cannot capture the meaning of perception, nor depict the nature thought. The abstract and mental system of mathematical symbols is void of human experience, spirituality, and creativity.
Let us examine this through a specific lens. From a particle level to the perceptual level, man is built up from small groups working together. Like pixels to the picture, the evidence of man’s own emergence is undeniable. In this perception every phenomenon is situated in its relationship to others, and comes from a ‘Current’ (field/dimension) of energy.
All our thoughts, our feelings, and every movement of the body is the manifestation of a specific energy. In our mindless state, that current is constantly swelling and flooding. The endless focus and blur that happens as we shift from thought to feeling to sensation creates a fluctuating series of impulses. We deceive ourselves by calling those impulses “me” or “I”. It creates a wall of illusion professing it is acting of will power and independence. As one desire is crystallized and then either fulfilled or dismissed, it is quickly replaced with another. We become slave to a pattern of contradiction in which there can be no continuity of intention. We are undoubtedly, accepted or not; all a piece of a larger reality. As slaves to this reality, we succumb to the Puritan continuity of intention. Intuitively we sense this but mistrust the value of intuition.
Continuity of intention is recognized by the Slyman as Calling. Calling can be an amazing tool of transformation. When used consciously it can unlock the doors of transformation and allow us to create our Eminent Mind. However it bears the potential for greater evils of the psyche.
In the article The Relative Nature of the Concept ‘Freedom’, Mr Jason Sorrell brilliantly casts ‘need’ (the catalyst of ‘I’) and the slight-of-hand sorcery that comes, when we do not actively pick which impulses to consciously experience. Mr Sorrell handsomely demonstrates that the level of dependency on the fulfillment of our needs through the system is directly proportionate to our level of ‘freedom’. The assertion is that in order to participate within a system, you must conform to a certain standard (morality). That standard is usually where your contributing value is defined. Sorrell waxes it much better than I do. So I would suggest reading the previously linked article.
Scientifically we are defined as an organism; a form of life composed of mutually interdependent parts that maintain various vital processes. It has been my contention (in previous writings) things… happen, and this occurs on scales of marginal proportioning; but this does not exclude peculiar commonalities shared by things on marginally separate levels. This is why I, so often marvel at the wisdom of the enneagram, we wish to perceive a direct connection (line) between two seemingly opposing/similar points on different levels; its wisdom show us this is not the case. Let’s not trail off, on Sacred Geometry; we need only borrows its influence.
Life composed of mutually interdependent parts that maintain various vital processes. When placed in the context of a worldly sense, is indicative of society. The symbolic perception suggests, that we can then develop these types organism; just as we can develop our own beings.
If by living deliberately we can emerge a stronger being in physicality, mentality, and psychology; why then can it not work socially? Live deliberately… Emerge!
The way my life is run, currently, will never be enough. I want out of this slave pen. I think my path is taking me there, but at the same time I can’t help wondering if I’m really just scuttling from one end of the cage to the other (the side with the better view). What will it take to truly be free? What qualifies as good enough?
Immediately I want to say that true freedom happens only when we can precede in any direction desired without obstruction. However problematic it seems for freedom to become a reality, I cannot with clear conscience ignore a reoccurring observation I have made. Every person I have ever asked this one simple question, has answered it the same. “Do you have a sense of purpose?”, in every instance the response has been to the affirmative.
From the Materialists who believe all things are deterministic, to the Creationists who claim divine Will, and every shade of thinking between each has the idea the we have a role. Rightly so, who can honestly deny that we impact the causal; with every breath we draw. From what I have also gathered, another commonality observed is our quest for this ‘calling‘.
Even more impressive is that this happens on many scales, with an almost eerie congruence; we see one behavior manifested on marginal levels of scaling. I remember being completely fascinated, when being informed that a piece of glass; was in fact not in a truly stationary state. Imagine, over just a few hundred years; what was once a completely level surfaced window, will be thicker toward the bottom and thinner at the top. I marvel even more at the molecule and the mechanical manifestation of material.
One morning swimming at a spring, I started thinking about the current I was walking against. My mind drifted to maps of ocean currents moving, I thought about how it resembled the moving air streams above, everything seeming in motion. It then occurred to me that we use this type of analysis in second nature. I realize none of these are new ideas, it builds a sufficient platform for what I propose might place this square in alignment.
I won’t suggest I have any undeniable truth or solution, but I have some hard-pressed questions to which could open the doors to real answers. If we feel hungry does our body not call to be nourished? If we need sleep do our heads not lean towards the pillow? Say we are addicted to a cigarette, do we not have driving cravings? What happens when your sex drive, cannot be satisfied; do you not boil with frustration? Is it not possible, a woman’s compulsion for chocolate; mirrors the flirtatiousness of Le Femme Fatale ( Our Lady Fate)?
Not to labor the our point of reference unnecessarily, I have but two questions more and my closing.
If we should have meaning (subjected to the filling of physical and psychological needs) , yet be able to to affect the casual to the point of holding responsibility; are we not then mandated by the health of our being to tap our potential? This of course demands an honest analysis of priorities, structure, philosophy, process, and ideals; none the less no man is just born, they’ve all grown. Growing is difficult on some levels, but all must do so together. What then can we say is our true obstructions, and how can they be removed?
Freedom is progression without out obstruction. Without Will or Calling we collapse into happenstance; no different than the currents of the ocean or winds of the air. Though we surely will never be free of Influence, we can choose which currents, on what level; to ride. Live deliberately.
I begin today, as I began any day before, with the notion that nothing around me seems natural. I don’t mean I was uncomfortable in my home, rather that so much of our lives is a forced existence. Some might argue that this ‘world’ we live in has come about a natural occurrence. I would remark that just because you can stick the barrel of a revolver firmly up your arse and discharge it, does not make it a wise idea. Why are we expected to just accept it as status quo ?
Why in our minds, do we make excuses; claiming things such as “I’m one man, what can I do about it?” I often hear folks say, ” The system isn’t perfect, but what would work better? The grass is not greener on the other side.”; to which I address with “For some any grass is greener than the grass they’ve been chewing on for so many years”, “Show me where I can go and not be forced to participate under tyranny of some form or the other.”. I further this by asking if such a place does not exist, if I cannot find a system of my liking, what then are my options but to forge one?
Is it not tyranny, when you are forced to conform to the ethics and principles, subjected to laws and standards of a particular region; simply because you are born to it? Even if one exists that meets the measure of your sound reason’s judgement, what is the reality that you’ll ever make it to the ‘land that has promise’? Will the economy be friendly enough to allow for your departure from it? Will your current country allow your departure from it? Will the favored country welcome you with open arms? Can you give up all the people which you hold dear to you? Should you be the one forced to uproot and go?
It seems perfectly reasonable to me, that when contrasting these questions with the Slyman’s perspective; knowing not only the proper sequence of emergence, but what is of organic phenomenon and is purely artifice; we might come to a grim reality. Men lack accountability, man has always done so. History exists purely to justify the wrongs of mankind. Man has, is, and will continue to do very reckless things. We’ve learned how to dupe ourselves and it helps us sleep at night. We refuse to look at the bigger picture, as we judgingly point our fingers at our neighbors, coworkers, and families. Mommy did not hug me enough when I was little, so its ok to be chauvinistic.
It is as if, a long time ago someone penned your glorious tragic comedy; with brilliance to suit your role. You proudly take stage left and curtsey on your cue. Maybe you are satisfied to make due with your lot in life. What if I am not? Would you argue that I should use the system to change it? What if that system is failing? How can one expect a favorable outcome from a system that fails to see every man and woman within it secured and stabilized? What does it say for that system? Why are we forced to accept ‘good enough’?
Click the link above… Kinda makes sense that you would have to inject yourself with HIV to be cured of cancer. Who would’ve thunk it…. ;P
Some time ago, men feared an otherworldly phenomenon, the psychonautic acquisition by a specific type of siege; possession. Men, women, and children all would have this peculiar occurrence from time to time. As happenstance might have it, in most cases it was mistimed and out of sync with the world; but in a few cases it ushered in a new aeon. It was thought to be brought on by invocation, ritual, spell, or contact with something that had been touched by the devil. There were places that held malefic footprints. Things you saw, smelled, heard, or touched were tainted with malign and waiting to infect the mortal. Sinking in to the deepest part of man, veining itself and choking out the Puritan roots. Commandeering that which makes man most divine; his mind.
Some men become possessed by the spirit of Hasatan, and become adversity. Others are possessed by Baal, and rise up from enslaved unto lord; master of his own rite. The men possessed by Azazel, are enraged they carry the consequences of other men’s transgressions. Each spirit begins a notion, as experience gives it strength it becomes an idea. As the idea is filled with passion and zealot it becomes a spirit. As that spirit entangles with our essence, we become influenced by it. That act of influencing is possession.
Men who profit by racketing through fear, perpetuating ignorance, and endorsing faith over reason; have demonized such spirits. Because their potency cannot be adulterated, they are quickly grafted and encode in their host. A viral toxin of primal essence of man before he knew subservience. A residual impression of our nature before we bought into conformity. When men knew no limits to their potential.
The Dark Horse wields these ancient archetypes. Through his study of XA, he has mastered each possession and now knows how to possess. He knows when to possess and who to possess. Just as those men have insisted, he invokes them through rituals and spells, though they are not what they’ve been made to be. Just as once the mist was laced with ideas of spectral properties, and later understood by sciences. So must the possession thin its veil of mystery. I look forward to the days once again of spirited men.
China 2004, I was sitting across a table from the Vice President of the multi-million dollar fireworks company I worked for. We had just finished satisfying our most carnal desires and had settled in for brandy and a cigar. Before this journey, it was my belief that this gentleman was not fond of me. Some years prior, I had stated my opinion of errors I had noted with the company to him. He did not seem to take my criticism well at that time. I began questioning him as to why he had asked me to take this trip, in consideration of my harsh critique.
He began rambling about his brother’s (his brother owns the company) sons and that they would surely run the company into the ground when they inherit it. He talked about how his brother had given and continued to give them anything and everything they wanted. At this point, I wondered if this was all the brandy talking, I soon found out it was not. He said, “They just aren’t hungry!” He began telling me of all kinds of underhanded and tactical things that his brother and he had employed to get to where they are today. He then said, “We were hungry, you’ve got to be hungry or your perspective dulls.” His insistence was repeatedly on this ‘hunger’ giving a person an edge. The hunger motivated them, forcing them to be creative and struggle towards over-coming every obstacle they cross.
He then made it known to me, “This is why you were selected; you’re hungry. I knew from the moment you opened your mouth that day; your interests were not in vulgarly complaining about our methods. You were seeking improvement which would benefit YOU, and just as much as it did us. This is what my nephews lack and what is vital for ANYTHING to succeed and grow.” From there our conversations shifted from serious to more of what we would try next, since we could have anything we wanted.
That year, I received over $150 dollars a week in raise and a considerable amount of attention within the company. For the next few years, I spent a lot of time flying back and forth between China, Corporate, and business related conventions. Every year, I received a considerable amount of increase in salary. Then suddenly it stopped, no longer was I being groomed to be at the top of this company. What had changed?
One evening, as I set at home pondering all of this, I realized I was no longer hungry. I looked around at all the toys and gizmos. I saw the 500 an ounce bag of ‘dro’ and the expensive bottle of liquor. All the things, I just had to have to keep up with the Jones’. This was a particularly bad time in my life; my obsession with material gain had manifested a monster of problems, which I could not seem to fix. My son’s mother and I were on the out. It was any day coming she would be leaving and with my son. So many of our arguments were because I would spend my time ‘making money’ and she felt I had lost sight of what was important.
To be fair to myself, I honestly sought to better the lives of our family. I had however become too comfortable. Understand that I am not placing this as the sole reason for the complexities of problems I was facing, but it WAS a dominant Influence of them. Tsun Tzu advocated that an animal (or man) backed into a corner, would fight fiercely for his life and surmount unthinkable feats. I had forgotten this. So much of my time spent investing in ventures, which I only half-heartedly wished to succeed, that I was blind to the things, which surely make men great.
This is why I choose a minimalist lifestyle. I keep only the things, which matter the most to me and indulge only in the things, which I see a more developed gain. I threw away or gave away everything which I had no need for in my life. In my eyes, they were mere symbols of laziness and comfort, lulling me back into a sediment condition.
When asked, “Why people choose to live a life of wanting for nothing”….
I answer, “”When the only thing you are, are the social status symbols you’ve gathered, it speaks volumes in itself about how empty and useless you’ve become.” I will further this by saying “In a world full of gluttonous sheep, too busy chasing the next high, feeling, fad, and Ithing (IE.. IPhone) to realize they are enslaved by it. I am YOUR Adversary!”
“But the whole point lies in being sincere with oneself. And this is by no means easy. People do not understand that sincerity must be learned. They imagine that to be sincere or not to be sincere depends upon their desire or decision. But how can a man be sincere with himself when in actual fact he sincerely does not see what he ought to see in himself? Someone has to show it to him. And his attitude towards the person who shows him must be a right one, that is, such as will help him to see what is shown him and not, as often happens, hinder him if he begins to think that he already knows better. “ – Gurdjieff “In Search of the Miraculous” Chapter – 8
Open your eyes, if only for a breath. What state is the world around you in? Where then do you set within it? Were you hoodwinked into believing if you worked for anything you could have it? Did you push all in when you thought life had dealt you a solid hand? Was your faith placed in the system? Did you believe should you suffer an injustice, there was a system there to protect you. Were you lost in naivety, comforted in the idea that all you had to do was lead a honest life? Did you meet the axiom that life is not fair? Were your wounds soothed by whispers of retribution exacted by a democratic government?
Can you blame anyone but yourself? Do you have the fortitude to admit, from where you stand you are eclipsed by an insurmountable entity? Do you tell yourself, you are but one man against an empire; what change can you create? Where would you even begin? Can you really beat them at their own game? Are you strong enough to remain separate and focused while completely submerged within the influence of the Puritan machine? Will you rise to the top?
What changes would you implement? How would it be better? What ideas could bandage this sickening parasite? Can you even think on a level so much greater? Would you seek world peace? Would you quest for your fellow man? Would you save him from himself? Would you teach the world to sing in perfect harmony? Would you elevate others to the same level? Would you be merciful to those that would seek to harm you? Could you show pity and remorse? Could you raise another above yourself? Would you lay your life down for someone? Should you be the sacrificial lamb? Does the good of the many really out weigh the good of the one? What if the good of the one is necessary for the good of the many? Who gets to decide all of this? Will someone else decide it for you?