The Evolution of a Slyman

immortality

I, Devil

Even if man were nothing but a piano key, even if this were proved to him by natural science and mathematics, even then he would not become reasonable, but would purposely do something perverse out of sheer ingratitude, simply to have his own way…then, after all, perhaps only by his curse will he attain his object, that is, really convince himself that he is a man and not a piano key! If you say that all this, too, can be calculated and tabulated…then man would purposely go mad in order to be rid of reason and have his own way.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Today, I am going to disappoint you. This entry will let you down, and won’t be what you think it is to be. I have no intention of defining or revealing some aspect of the history of Satan, Lucifer, or “The Devil”. If you’d like to read something extremely thoughtful and well written to that end; Please check out Chloe 352’s article in Nexion Zine 7.1 titled “Notes on Satanism“. My aim is set to convey something of a different species , and to that I am certain to fail. None the less, I shall endure.

First I think it is important to nutshell my worldview. That my fellow traveler, will be no easy task. I probably, in my life time, could never write enough to paint the entire picture for you. Even if I spent 20 hours a day for the rest of my life. So I am going to try to sum it up in a few concepts. The first an allegory. The second is three quotes. The third a transgression. So let’s begin shall we?

When I first came across the thought experiment called “Schrodinger’s Cat”, I immediately understood the concept being related. The short of it; a cat sealed in box with poison. To observer, until the box is opened there is no way to determine if the cat is alive or dead. Therefore it remains in a superposition; that is both alive and dead. blah, blah, blah; not what I’m after. This is just where my thought experiment started. See it was irking me that the cat was a continuous observer and therefore the experiment was flawed.

The Allegory

I started thinking about my experience, if I was the cat. I realized as the cat, I was first intrigued. What cat doesn’t like a box? After the lid closed, I might be a little frightened. I would probably go looking for a way out, and in the process discover the poison. I am certain my heightened and attuned sense of smell would, I hope, clue me into the fact that I didn’t want to be in the box with this stuff. Then panic would set in, after all, it is just what nature does. After an undefined period of time, I would start to take for granted that this noxiousness was contained. Leaving me unaffected by it. Should enough time pass, I may even have convinced myself that the poison was not meant for me. After all, I am a good cat.

As my stay grows longer, so does my boredom. Fortunately this box is many sided and walled with mirrors on every side. In every direction, I can see many different cats. Each reacts as I act. Most of them, I think of as friends. Not the one directly in front of me. He keeps staring at me. To me this is a sign of aggression. We all spend our days playing and talking. Lately the conversations have become a bit more “heady”. We began to discuss how we got here and what we think will eventually happen. One of my friends on the right side, he is concerned about the poison. It is his opinion, that eventually it will open and kill us all. A few on the left side think, he is just being dramatic, and he should just stick to the evidence and what we know from experience. They argue an awful lot and sometimes that just stresses me out. I like to hold conversations with one of the cats above me. He is always making some profound statement with lofty ideals. He has me convinced that the cat in front of me isn’t actually being aggressive toward me, but rather is simply just as unsure of me, as I am of him. This might be true, because he does share a lot of my same features. Maybe I’ll give him a chance.

One day, I got curious about something puzzling. I decided to ask the cat above me about it. Being he is above me, he will know the answer. So I asked him, “What is out there, beyond what I can see?”. “Surely, since you are above me you can see further”. “Oh my!” he replied and grew silent for a very long time afterwards. Finally he said “I cannot honestly answer that question, but maybe if we can figure out what is going on inside what we can see; we will know more about the beyond”. Agreeing with him, I decided to get every cat here on the same page. The more the merrier right? Instead of two on a quest to understand the beyond, we will have the thinking power of many. After that every cat eventually joined our quest for this knowledge. Some of our discoveries seemed earth moving and awe-inspiring. Yet none seemed to answer the question of the beyond. Finally what was always meant to be happened, the poison released.

Yes, this is the kind of thing that regularly plays out in my head. No, you shouldn’t be concerned for me either. You see there are (like the mirrors) many different aspects of this that really do sum up my world view. We are similar to the cat inside a box. Driven by fear and insecurity. Without out a real knowledge of what’s beyond our reasoning of anything immeasurable or observable. Distorted. Isolated. Removed from the true nature of our world, it’s cosmos, and a healthy perspective on exactly how ignorant we really are on a universal level. As a society, we know 2 things with all certainty; we live (cat) and we die (poison). Only do we really even know that? What if this is merely some instance of whatever animates (cosmic life) finding itself in a super-position? What if it is then diverging as it is being observed not simply in one instance. but both simultaneously (mirrors again)? The question of what is observing come into play. I think maybe its reality itself, but I digress. We simply just don’t know and anyone who says they do is just full of shit. No matter the level of science involved, at this point: it is still just mental masturbation.

Any working “universal” theory is a bust. No dice. What about on a cosmic level? Here we have some grasp of different principles and ‘laws’. There is still an air of primitiveness to it, in my assessment. We have 6 senses in which we can exact and analyze any type of ‘knowing’. Our proximity and access seem to be the biggest obstacles in real advancement. Until such a time as we can move closer to proper examination; I just don’t see us moving beyond that, except by painstaking fractal to fractal. Cosmic Kindergarteners.

The Three Quotes

“The world as we find it is undeniably adversarial. Or, in other words, undeniably Satanic.”

-Jason King – Post Modern Satanism

“When a mind is enlightened, it casts shadows onto the subconscious. Truly the more enlightened the mind, the darker the shadows we find.”

-T.C. Downey – I, Devil (right here)

I won’t devote a great deal of time regurgitating King’s philosophical workings. I recognize his salient gleaning of this characteristic of our world in the above quote from Post Modern Satanism. Seemingly there is a constant competition for resource and survival. There are simple examples like several closely rooted plants which are competing for nutrient, pollination, soil, sunlight, and water. This is further rigorously tested by things like insect infestations, climatic conditions, fires, mold, moss, people, and whatever other things I’m forgetting to list. There are so many phenomenal examples present in our worldscape; you couldn’t possibly list them all and remain sane. King loved to use the “lion and the gazelle”, I think because it could be over simplified and still hold weight as ‘the‘ example. It would seem the more we look at the compounded environmental difficulties faced by any organism on this planet; the more that seem to factor in. There can be no doubt that nature is in fact against itself. Undeniable? You bet. Satanic?

In that sense, Satan is the king of this world! This easily becomes a realization, and then immediately is followed by doubt. Because it is hard to face up to reality. The notion that literally everything is out to get us, comes with denial, paranoia, and a myriad psychological mechanisms. Quickly one forgets that the odds are stacked against us, and those things which remain in existence today; do so in defiance of the natural worldly order. Kind of inspiring to me. A nice little balancer to a rather nihilistic overture. Nature has its system of balances. To this affect, it seems necessary for a heavily destructive tendency to aid in the preservation of the whole. This comes across as shear chaos at first glance; observable however is the emergent order from within.

Clearly we have fooled ourselves into believing that our ‘intellect’ somehow sets us apart from the natural worldly order. These days people must feel alien to this worldly order. How can they not? We have rampant menticide and an inflated sense of self-entitlement that is contrasted with restrictive pushes for passivity and compliance; let us just say it is obvious world war 3 is going to be a global killer. How can it not be? Free-range capitalism has saturated every aspect of life with corruption and distortion. I used to be one of those guys who thinks “democracy = freedom”. Now that I am older, I recognize that that statement couldn’t be farther from the truth.

All democracy does is allow the despicable and unworthy to manipulate and further distort the masses. While we are busy playing our oversized Monopoly TM game, it is obvious we are missing more critical events on a global scale. We fail to look at them in any honest or objective manner. For those that might actually be honest and objective; we are forced to hold a heavy skepticism, for they could be doing so with financially tinted lens. Anyone arguing the merits of any particular ‘sciences’ had better be the far most expert in their field, or sit the fuck down. I don’t care where you are getting your information from, these facts remain. People lie. All the time. Governments lie. No surprise there. Spin is an ancient craft that has been honed and perfected since its inception. The Sheeple (mundanes) love them for it.

Recently the point was made to me that what society is lacking is any true sense of patriotism. To that I had to agree, but I posited that the body of governments should take more pride in their people. You see any relationship, should it be harmonious, is a two way street. Give AND take.

“This is not a matter of compromises or adaptations. The power of a new Middle Ages is needed. A change, interior as well as exterior, of barbaric purity is required. Philosophy, “culture”, everyday politics: no more of all that. It is not a matter of shifting to the other side of this bed of agony. It is a matter of finally waking up, and standing on one’s feet.”

-Julius Evola

The Transgression

News Flash! You are not simply entitled to be a live. This natural worldly order does NOT owe a thing to you. In fact, most of you should be put to death. If for no other reason, because you arrogantly assume the entitlement. To further complicate the issue, not only do you think you are entitled, but you are of the opinion that your entitlement is just; whereas another’s is ludicrous. From one side of your face you cry about the injustices of society, and from the other you are equally as dishonourable and contriving. Eager to step over the wake of carnage to receive your metaphorical kudos. Where have all the heroics gone? Have we lost the drive to push ourselves to the highest versions of self? Why has the mantra of “For king and country” been replaced with the motto “live to fight another day”? Do you see it? Can you comprehend? There is glory in dying for ‘higher’ principles, and a deep felt appreciation from those for which you fight. Dedication and loyalty are quickly slipping into the hallowed crypts of antiquity. Where is your pride in heritage and tradition? What is it in a highschool or college diploma? A mediocre job, where most of your focus is making money or worse a name for somebody else?

Mankind is so emancipated from the natural worldly order, and this makes it seem inevitable that we will face extinction. How could we not? We cannot possibly understand the value of life, if we are not willing to die for it. There is no way to grasp the preciousness of enlightenment, if we cannot embrace the darkness behind it. With that for each egalitarian neutering that socially arises; nature will send a brutal killer to cleanse its palette. So for this, I truly am sorry to disappoint you. None the less, I shall endure!

-Beast Xeno (edited on 08/09/21 to improve conceptualization and readability)


Nochtadh Cosmaí

The Sinister Creed

Satan in particular and the Dark Gods in general are a means to self-fulfillment and self-
understanding.

Only by journeying through the darkness within us and without can we attain self-divinity and
thus fulfil the potentiality of our existence.

Our rites, ceremonies and practices are all life-affirming, and show us the ecstasy of existence
and the self-overcoming of the true Adept.

We are feared because we defy and seek to know and thus understand. We rejoice in living: in all
its pleasures but most particularly in its possibilities. We thus extend the frontiers of evolution
while others sleep or cry.

We detest all that enervates and would rather die than submit to anyone or anything – this pride is
the pride of Satan, and Satan is a symbol of our defiance and a sign of our life-enhancing energy.
Others see our way of living and our way of dying and are afraid.

When we hate we hate openly and with arrogance, and when we love, we love with a passion to
match this arrogance: always mindful never to love anyone so much that we cannot see them die,
for death is a natural changing of energies.

We prepare – through our magick and our ways of living – for the Age of Fire (the Aeon of the
Dark Gods) which is to come, when we elitist few shall reach out toward the stars and the galaxies and the new challenges they will bring.

Our way is difficult and dangerous and is for the few who can truly defy the matrix of illusions of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ – that stifle the potentiality of our being.

What does not kill us, makes us stronger.

Codex Saerus – The Order of Nine Angles

As the world around us violently changes, I am reminded of the lobster in the boiling pot. The rich have become nothing but richer, and the poor are only poorer. The masses are so caught up in the little manufactured achievements bestowed upon them. So blinded; so stupid. Men are so emasculated and women are no longer truly venerated. Gender has become something only identified with, and is no longer celebrated or even taboo. One might think to themselves “what strides of social equality have been achieved”, but to me that begs the question; what did it cost us?

I am a person who rarely apologizes, but if any of what I am saying offends you; I am truly sorry. You see, I harbor no phobias in this topic and if it should sound as such; well tough shit, all you will get is an apology from me for it. I am all about becoming who you truly are. If this means you are something other than the once “societal standard”; by all means embrace it. Keep in mind though, I am of the old school of thought; where we do not peek over our neighbor’s fences. So when I speak on these matters, understand that I am not coming from a place of bigoted mind. The only reason, I have chosen to bring this up is, because I believe we are being robbed of something essential and this demonstrates it adequately.

What I mean is this, when I was a small child, life hit me with a series of unfortunate events. I was first stricken sick as an infant. That left me with a massive hearing loss. A short time later, my father passed away in an accident. This left my mother extremely poor and emotionally in despair. She was pregnant at the time of his passing. I went through more than several years of abuse at the hands of my step-family. Mental, physical, and sexual; its like Prego “it’s in there”. By the time I hit the ages of 11-13, my somewhat shy and self-conscious demeanor had culminated into a seemingly magnetic target for bullying. This is the part of the story, where someone should have come to my rescue, and it isn’t. No hero came, no one stuck up for me. The school didn’t care, the police gave even less of a shit.

What transpired instead was a cosmic test of mettle. You see I was born determined. Each event listed I overcame; I rose above it. By the age of 14, I knew who I truly was and nothing was going to hold me down. None of the disadvantages I inherited, would make me take a knee. I had taken on the mantra of, “Why? Because fuck you, that’s why!”. I am my own champion. A warrior within my own rite! The bullies, I bullied them. The abuse I suffered, I let it be the kindling of my internal fire. The deafness, you would have no idea it is there if I did not say so.

Understand this now, I AM NOT SPECIAL! There is nothing about me beyond my defiance and determination that made it possible to overcome. Which is what finally brings me to the impetus and thrust of this entry. “Only by journeying through the darkness within us and without can we attain self-divinity and thus fulfil the potentiality of our existence.” The Sinister Creed gives us 9 points with a singular energy, the thrust to defy and overcome.

It used to be that people of different sexual orientations had to undergo a very personal quest of self-discovery and self-empowerment. So I think, those that did so will understand where I am coming from with this. It should not just be handed to you. You will miss out on everything that truly gives self power and strength. Sure there are those that will succumb and fail, not all are worthy of truly living (in my views, not all are worthy of life). Each must pass the tests of living to be worthy of doing so. Those we coddle, we do them no service. We may love them, but we must be willing to watch them die. This is the Law of Nature, it always has been. This is a cosmic revelation, yet has been no kept secret.

So in that, what do I mean by cosmic revelation? When we look into nature what we see is constantly repeating patterns. Fractals if you will. What happens on a microscopic level, seems to also happen on larger and larger scales. The Law of Nature is no different. In the same way, that a seedling planted on the shadyside of a tree has to struggle and overcome to survive; so must we endure to survive.

With all of the solar storm activity in the news lately, it should also be apparent that the same condition exists on that level. There is in fact, a delicate balance struck in nature. Some of which we can see and comprehend, the rest though the pattern remains elusive.

To be continued…

-BX


Aethyr Alchemical (part 3)

What follows will seem rigid as I codify the Darkhorse Klan. However I expect to be challenged. I expect attempts made to usurp. As in nature, the struggle for alpha must remain present. In the same tradition, just as all things occurring naturally before this brotherhood; there is a season. When one season ends, another season has already begun.

I like to talk about time in a more organic fashion. In my mind, we try too hard to ascribe an artificial set of properties upon naturally occurring phenomenon. Time is no exception. There is no distinct marking between autumn and winter, nor winter and spring. One slowly fades in as the other slowly fades out. It is only in the height of a season, that you can be sure which season you are in.

I am talking about the most basic understanding of seasons. That being the passing of an indefinite amount of time, which is denoted by a specific set of characteristics. It can be understood that I am describing the coming into and going out of something specific. In the case of Darkhorse Klan, it could be our aims, influences, or methods. As only the strongest and most beneficial of anything should prevail. For one of the earmarks of true honour is dedication to the longevity and sanctity of your own.

Long ago, there was a season where these values were cherished abroad. A time when character was crafted in the individual from the very beginning. Things like clan, country, and honour were embraced and held high. As I said in the beginning of this, the past is gone. Yet that season can come again.

I admire the Koryos. Adolescents tasked with forging their transformation from boy to man. Seeking to connect to the primal and often brutal natural order. Donning the hide of the hunter beast spirit which they seek symbiosis with. Not simply the mimicry of the technique and prowess of these great beasts, but the merging with its metaphysical psychology and life force. It must have been quite a sight to behold, men ferocious and wild often consumed with bloodlust.

Fearless warriors and hunters that were supposedly forced to be an outcast of their clan/tribe. Still they chose to be the protectors of their people. Most were indoctrinated back into the clan/tribe, after passing whatever tests had been set out before them. Still some found their place in this world, and chose never to came back. They had forged their totem.

The importance of a totem is lost in our modern translations. Often seeming as an archaic and inferior understanding, so much gnosis lost. Each Darkhorse should venture to adopt and connect to a totem. This connection will serve as conduit for our transmutation. A true alchemy sought for evolution of our whole being.

To truly fulfill our 9A:O, we must seek not only a personal transformation, but a societal transformation. To achieve this it is difficult to imagine what must be done. The most direct line I can see, is a cleansing and rebirth. The means of such action are far beyond my reach or the reach of probably all that will read this. We all know genocide is a very dirty word. One that most people cannot  condone and most certainly cannot imagine.

Fortunately as the old expression goes, there is more than one way to skin a fox. Selective culling has been employed throughout history to remove undesirable elements in our world. Yet when we speak on the level of what is deemed human, most are mortified.

If someone asked me to cast my vote upon the idea of an annual Purge, (yes I’m talking about the concept as put forth in the movies bearing the same title) I would incline to cast my vote in the affirmative. Even though that would place me and mine in jeopardy for that time, my answer would remain the same. This makes me a bit sad that it would, but I am so disgusted by the condition in which we exist.

To quote the Joker in the 1989 film Batman, “This town needs an enema!”. An end to the neutering and pacification of society as a whole. The rooting out and decimation of the dishonorable, ignorant, and unaccountable pestilence we call mankind. To me it is clear that we have stifled our own course of evolution and some action must be taken.

I have always held a deep admiration for various organizations such as the Hashshashin, Yakuza, and China’s Heaven and Earth Society. The ability to tend to and regulate your own within is beyond admirable. The ability to operate on a clandestine level is even more so. So I have sought to emulate such brotherhoods. It is for this reason that the true name of the Darkhorse Klan, is known only by 9 currently and will only be revealed to those who prove loyalty and solidarity. For the wise, a simple clue; keep your circles small, from this you maintain order.

The past is most certainly gone. Like this moment as it’s passing. For every thing there is a season, and as the season ends, may our season be already underway. I look to the alchemical season with hope and conviction.

I think I have covered a great deal of ground in these three parts. I’m certain a few revisions will surface over time. For now though this will work.

– Beast Xeno


The Numinous Undertaking

To recognize the need for the destruction of puritan ideology is indicative of wisdom. A smart man sees things for what they really are; dishonorable, oppressive; literally infested with hubris. A. Long in his practical wisdom has charged those of a specific character to presence the sinister. This is to be accomplished through particular methods with precise aim to affect Aeonic Change. To that end; Let he that has the ear, hear the words of Tsun Tzu “All men can see these tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved”. Let this be the thrust to which I Aim.

As I have stated before “Darkhorse is not a descriptor, rather a prescriptor. It is neither the map, nor the terrain; rather it is the skills to scale and survey the terrain. A developed ‘eye for detail’ and the faculty to correlate the map to the terrain; thereby reaching your aim“. Aeonic Change is the only worthy Aim to the Slyman. Only change can bring about our evolution. Adaptation is a measure of intelligence in the tri-sense of the word, and by that I mean mind/body/spirit (please excuse the laymen’s terms, I’m trying not to get lost in the abstractions). To achieve this end, I bring forth Darkhorse.

Darkhorse sees our situation for what it truly is; the proverbial David and Goliath.  Like the story, the odds seem insurmountable, but with the correct action/actions the giant will topple. There are multiple tactics and combinations of tactics one could employ to do so. I will only outline and briefly discuss a few.

Permeation – This is the same tactic used by the Catholic Church during the Age of Discovery. It is a play on Tsun Tzu’s “moral law”. This is where you weave your ideology into the very fabrics of your enemy’s culture, beliefs, and society. It is done in such a way as to infect the solidarity of their opposition. I have witnessed this strategy being mostly effectively used by the O9A already over the past 10 years or so. Chloe352 is, in my opinion, the most effective employer of this strategy. You only need to go to the O9A site now and see how and where she’s operating. She openly discusses or leaves clues in her writings. In the Insidious Way (ISW) this is the Principle of Earth Element. One cannot cultivate a garden in soil that is already tainted.

Division/Isolation – This is the tactic that is so often used in the most notable military campaigns of History. This is the classic divide and conquer tactic. Division can be accomplished through a variety of means. Creating tensions between any type of diversification already present within the body of your enemy. Psychological warfare at its finest. By severing connection to each other and possibly the outside world, in such a way as to give the impression that the enemy stands by itself. This is effective because it tends to create the feelings of panic and suffocation. In the ISW this is the Principle of Air Element. One cannot breathe freely when the air is restricted.

Exhaustion – By draining the resources and therefore the vitality of our enemy, we are quickly able to tire them out. At the same time, we are able to strengthen and fortify ourselves. Tsun Szu says “Hence a wise general makes a point of foraging on the enemy. One cartload of the enemy’s provisions is equivalent to twenty of one’s own, and likewise a single picul of his provender is equivalent to twenty from one’s own store.” In the ISW this the Principle of Fire Element. One cannot be revitalized from ash and cinder.

These are merely the cursory overviews of definition, correlation, and use of such tactics in which themselves hold an esoteric fortune to those with the aptitude to make use of them. Let them be a tri-folded beacon for the kindred, for the Darkhorse sees there are in fact distinctly nine of them. 9 Worlds, 9 Rites, 9 Octaves, 9 Elements, 9 Avatars, 9 Archetypes, 9 Angles, and on and on; down the rabbit hole we go.

The Rites of Darkhorse

“For I incline toward the view that whether we do this is inextricably bound to
how we understand our current predicament on Earth and thus whether we
can free ourselves from the constraints that so bind us now: abstractions,
politics, religions, a lack of self-knowing, a lack of self-honesty, dishonour,
and such personal egoistic desires as so often still subsume us. Which
constraints the experiential Seven Fold Way (the ‘physis sorcery’) of the O9A
was designed to break, containing as that esoteric Way does a necessary,
human, enantiodromia – a melding of the masculous with the muliebral – and
presencing as it does, as those who reach the stage of Internal Adept
discover, the essence of culture.”-A. Long 2015 (From an interview that “Rachael Stirling” had with A. Long)

An Interview with Anton Long (NYC 2015)

It is providence that this, gem of a PDF (An Interview With Anton Long), has surfaced in the midst of me working on this essay. A. Long’s statement shows an eerie reflection of the very essence of Darkhorse. Perhaps that is because there is an internal synchronicity held between two that have honestly put the Work in. It may just be the admiration I have held for the man since I first came upon the curious occult entity referred to as O9A. I tend to believe the former; as most of the narrative has slowly manifested in different aspects (evidenced in my poetry from roughly 30 years ago to today) of my path. No matter the reasons, all things have resulted in the coming practice and Klan.

I have resolved to consciously put daily effort into this blog so that I might attract the likeminded or kindred. Should my words resonate, and you feel a kindred connection to the Darkhorse; you can contact me at beastxeno@gmail.com. Be aware though I am not seeking online fantasy play pals. I am looking for those with the mind and spirit to Work in the real world. I will relist the 9A:O below.

Our 9A:O – The Nine Angled Objectives of Darkhorse Klan (DhK)

1. To seek resonance, to build strength within.
2. To absorb, embody, and evolve the Insidious Way.
3. To tap our potential as Darkhorse and gain supranatural advantages in achieving our Aims.
4. To decimate morality. To reject duality/balance as some higher attainment.
5. To be freed from prison A (mental liberation), and become a Deep One.
6. To endeavor as creators, manifestors of living breathing art.
7. To see “real world” manifestations of the Klan into fruition. Such as continued legal status, real Lodges and monetary growth. To begin the corrosion of prison B (societal liberation)
8. To construct something that lasts of the self beyond death; both internally and externally.
9. To Awaken the A:O.

There are nine Rites in the ISW; Awakening, Heresy, Transmutation, Creation, Mayhem, Sinister, Undertaking, Havoc, and Insidious; they are all interconnected and must be worked in succession as the notes in a scale do. I will get to them in time, but for the moment there is already a great deal to digest. I have been working on this post for far too long as it is. I will leave this enneagram as food for thought in closing. As it shows 9 Rites and 9 Archetypes that I associate to them.

Live Deliberately!


Eminent Mind’s ReAwakening

Eight years had passed when I reopened this old WordPress. For eight years I have only Worked and manifested offline and only for my immediate benefit. I have to apologize for that, because the truth is I was discouraged by the anonymous-word-soup from those I admired and rampant sycophancy of those I abhor. There are/were those I remain in communication with. Even they are from time to time and lesser as time passes. You see outside the interwebs I don’t have to use any particular set of methods to influence the current to achieve my aims. People are sheep and I recognize this, even the smartest that I interact with still can be sheered with regularity.

Coming back here now, I am almost overwhelmed. However the A:O call to me and it is clear my work here isn’t finished. There is so very much that I simply just intuit it can at times be daunting trying to break things down for ease of reading. You would think being a father that I would have mastered this type of discourse, but there are two factors which disrupt that theory. The first is that my offspring are of me and since birth have been around me, so they understand me and even to some extent think as I do. The other thing is, and I keep this in the forefront of my mind always; you my reader are not children. Hailing from all walks of life and with different degrees of intuition and intelligence. Some are more initiated and others so mundane.

Experience has taught me not to underestimate or overvalue, and so I get lost in a labyrinth of my own design. Simply trying to balance the totality of my gnosis and communicating it effectively. I find myself jealous of writers like Chloe352 and my late comrade Ego Diabolus, they seem to effortlessly put their ideas out there effectively. I realize this is of course a healthy mixture of natural talent and practice as all artwork is. Communication is an artform, perhaps it is the root artform, as all types of art are trying to communicate something to the receptor.

Perhaps this is why I’m drawn back to this artificial disconnect (Interwebs). It is possible with a daily effort and the revealing of all aspects of myself that I might learn to be a more effective communicator. Before I kept different aspects of myself compartmentalized. In hindsight I’ve taken away some of the tools I possess. In effect, giving myself a ridiculous handicap.

My aim has never deterred as you’ll see in poetry I wrote 20-30 years ago. I am singularly focused on sparking change. I know now and have always known this battle will be fought liberating one mind at a time. This is why I have brought back Eminent Mind, DhK, and Beast Xeno. For 30 years I have walked the Lefthand Path, explored the conscious and subconscious alike. For 30 years my deeds in real life have matched my core principals. For all the ritual and practice there has to be one thing that kindles your awakening. So this is for you. I see your prison and am trapped there too. I know your shackles, for I have also felt their weight. It is so much easier a path to just follow the program, but it is empty and hollow. It is forsaken and meaningless.

-Live Deliberately

T.C. Downey