The look of evil as times are grim,
A sign of death as we are living in sin,
The blood of my heart leaves a dark stain,
To love her, with all to lose and nothing to gain;
Close my eyes as I wait for my time,
Is killing myself such a crime?
Death from the angel is all I ask,
So leave me alone as I carry out this task;
Half way dead as I bleed on the floor,
I wait for Satan to open the door,
Life has been so deadly and wicked,
Climbing the gate so thorny and pricked;
Slow and painful is the death rate,
As I slashed my wrists on this fatal date,
This was all for a girl can’t you see,
I look to the stars, there’s no forgiveness for me;
My time was Fatal!
-T.C. Downey 1990
“Fuck the Machine”
No matter how hard
I’m still trapped inside
My 9 to 5
I’m staying alive
But it’s quite a stride
Still I sell my pride
And hope I thrive
By pleasing the mind
Of a superior kind
A man with a wallet fuller than mine
All through this time
I repeat in my mind
One day I’ll rise
One day I’ll shine
I wish I was strong
Like a Rock –n- Roll song
And made a dong
Like a big brass gong
Or take away your breath
Like a 4 foot bong
But those days are gone
I want to stand up and scream
Muck up what’s said to be clean
Hold up my finger and say:
“Fuck The Machine!”
Take what’s left of my being
And follow my dreams
You think you control
My mind and soul
Get it through your thick skull
There was nothing sold
No favors are owed
Won’t do what I’m told
I’ve been driving this road
Since before the stars were old
-T.C. Downey 1999
The veil of truth has been removed.
Who we are, defined by what we do.
Search deep inside, you’ll find we’re cruel.
Our primal darkness, seeping through.
Lullaby of lies, duped and mezmerized; still we can’t disguise it.
Cold like a raw bone ripping at the rail.
Hard as a steel bar driven like a nail.
Foaming like a mad dog look for a kill.
Ravenous and genocidal.
Ingrained within ensuring survival.
Yet we bury it deep in denial.
Build our strawmen, then place them on trial.
Turn a blind eye, cover it in pride; pathetically we can’t hide it.
Cold like a raw bone ripping at the rail.
Hard as a steel bar driven like a nail.
Foaming like a mad dog looking for a kill.
Far beyond, what we pretend to be.
An encore of hypocrisy.
Our species was born of rage.
Soaked in blood and brutality.
-T.C. Downey 2013
I walk among the living dead.
I see them and their madness.
Their eyes are wide open, yet they dream life; without lucidity.
They fear the rational gaze.
I am fire to them.
My words scorch their delusions.
My reasons blind them, burning bright with contempt for folly.
Some speak of me as insurgency, I see a quest for merit.
I am relentless and defiant.
My restlessness, rushes over the bedrock; smoothing every stone.
Even in my calmest appearances, I still yield a wicked undertow.
Men whisper stories of being sucked under me, never to again be seen.
I am the accuser.
I point my finger firmly and judge ye, as I have already judged myself.
You have chosen to simply toe-the-line, turning an eye that is blind.
Acting contrary to your design.
I am of the Tree of Wyrd.
Rooted deeply in what has passed; yet reaching outward into the vastness.
What is life, if not to grow? Tend me closely or let me go.
Will you climb atop, or be sated by what hangs low? The answer, I already know.
-T.C. Downey 2021
I’m probably doing this all wrong
Only knowing the lyrics of love songs
But pain is something, I’ve known all a long
Its something against which, I can be strong
I can light the darkness until the dawn
Suffer gracefully like nothing is wrong
Support the pillars, so the sky won’t fall
Wrestle Titans and defy divine law
I’ve faced death and wasn’t scared
Lost it all and never cared
Been beaten, broken, and scrutinized
It didn’t stop me from locking eyes
When it comes to one thing
I am without a clue
How do you go about…
Making someone believe in you?
Do you make your words the sweetest song?
Make them feel as if nothing is wrong?
Tell them all the evil is gone?
Face them; pretending you’re strong?
Trick them, decieve them, or tell them lies?
Never let them see tears in your eyes?
Be everything you know, they don’t despise?
When they call your name, be sure to rise?
Be cruel and heartless, as love sometimes is?
Lose yourself in the passion of the kiss?
Pull them in tight and make a wish?
No doubt, just tiny bumps across the flesh.
One might wonder, why you would want to?
Make someone believe in you
Only pain has proven true,
will you now believe in them too?
When you realize, you somehow made it through
Will you smile and laugh, cause you were a fool?
Make a pledge to yourself; not to be such a tool?
Have a courageous heart and to that be true.
-T.C. Downey 2012
You are not Special,
You aren’t even who you think you are,
There is nothing original or authentic about you,
You are a carbon copy,
A xerox of life force,
A chain reaction of impulses,
An executed precision of basic programming,
You will not see your dreams realized,
You will drone in the mundane until extinguishment,
Your efforts are a vivid deception,
Truly you aren’t even in motion,
You are not even awake,
Mostly you are in a deep slumber,
Sprinkled with spells of broken sleep,
Your Most High Adepts are at best lucid dreamers,
You’ve made yourself a fraud and a liar,
Afraid of your own potential,
Blind to your birthright,
A sheep on the pasture,
A means to a product,
No god will embrace you,
You’ve refused to embrace yourself,
You’ve forgotten your honor,
Possess nothing of character,
You’ll surely dismiss me,
Cast a circle and falsely pass onto me labels,
But I cannot be bound to you,
Most likely you aren’t worthy of this knowledge,
So you cannot receive me,
For you are a liar,
Claiming you can do nothing of catastrophic proportions,
perception is a farce of smoke and mirrors,
Cast Herme’s Stone,
Shatter the panes,
And glare till the airs crisp,
Might you know the objective in every way possible,
Still you are naive to the nature of the currents,
And cannot deny them,
Your strings plucked in pandemonium,
A runaway puppet,
A beggar and groveling slave,
No master would have you,
To mentor or suffer,
Those you would have tend you,
They shame you and shave you,
They mockingly parade you,
I am no better,
Strike that of these matters,
For I have embraced them,
And I truly struggle,
Against them I grow stronger,
Each time I reach deeper,
Becoming void of the human,
Illuminating the Xeno
-T.C. Downey 2010
Stained in glory, here before me
No song of victory
In steaming fury, a one man jury
Open the guillotine
An imperial power, his monstrosity towers
Hail the mighty king
For I am but only, a lonely solider
Killing for majesty
Many are like me, living to serve thee
Dying is integrity
Fiercely strong, so we push on
Won’t stop till victory
We didn’t start it, but we’ll finish it
Soldiers of World War III
First come the showers, explosions of power
So wickedly fearsome we are
Then we move through with swiftness, conquer with quickness
So righteously phantoms of death
For our gods and our country, so our sons live peaceably
We smash out the puritan’s seed
In our push for the win, we committed a sin
Underestimating the mankind’s greed
Nobody won World War III
Now that it’s over, no longer a soldier
A vagabong left to be
I remember the hour, of nuclear power
The cities are ruined, species is long gone
Nothing left in the sea
The sun is scorching, the air is on fire
My skin is peeling from me
Soon there will be, nothing left of me
The lone victor of World War III
– T.C. Downey 1992
The Autumn chill sets in;
An eerie silence whispers on the wind;
It doesn’t muffle what’s stirring in my head.
All my thoughts seem grim;
This vast emptiness collapsing in;
A hallow chorus chanting “go into the light.”
The light it fades;
Soaked and stained;
Stained by my darkest days.
Darkness bleeds throughout;
Carried by the brush strokes of doubt;
Does nothing ever comfort the screaming?
Where does it start or end;
This madness, I’m slipping in;
Slightly touched by March’s wicked grin.
The laughter dissipates;
Cloaked and weeping;
Weeping for my darkest days.
The new day, asked me why;
Am I wasting his precious time;
Posing questions only answered in my mind.
Might be better if it fails;
Cause there’s no wind to drive the sails;
Thus I am so tired of waiting to exhale.
My time dissipates;
No one else will wait;
Wait out the dawn on my darkest day.
– T.C. Downey/Beast Xeno 2013
It’s got me frustrated
And I can not breathe
An everyday façade
Live out my dreams
Only in fantasies
Sentenced to a prison
Without bars or chains
I pray for demons
I beg for rage
I seduce an explosion
Just to blow up my cage
Lodge me in my throat
So I can swallow this shame
No soldier’s glory
No father’s pride
No recollection of
When my true self died
My impure soul
Finds no redemption
Unwashed and unclean
Just a piece of the machine
by T.C. Downey 1997