All is truly one. Still to understand it, one must divide it, and then devour it; bringing it back to one.
To truly live, you must be ready and willing to die.
To receive the Greatest Teacher, we must remain a defiant student.
Reject Nirvana, for suffering is meant to be endured not escaped or extinguished.
Never trust one that offers no trust to you. Should there be a glimmer of doubt, quickly make your way out.
When a mind is enlightened, it casts shadows onto the subconscious. Truly the more enlightened the mind, the darker the shadows we find.
Wisdom seeks it’s own certainties; not some “truth”. Therefore it is not hindered by dogmas or narrow-mindedness.
Sure to stand tall we can see farther, but this gives the sniper his mark. Sure the squeaky wheel gets the oil, but sometimes it gets replaced.
A show of strength creates weakness. To remain passive incites violence. Should we know our true animal self, we would realize; we can never know peace.
He who thinks himself special is the most mundane of all.
An alchemist puts everything to the black flame. By reduction, one can understand things at its elemental base.
One cannot cultivate a garden in soil that is already tainted. One cannot breathe freely when the air is restricted. One cannot be revitalized from ash and cinder. One cannot move through water fearlessly, without knowing the depths of it.
Hold these as virtues; awareness, endurance, and severance. Hold these as strengths; certainty, fortitude, and furtiveness. These virtues will nurture esteem, and strengths will adorn prestige.
Bare only esteem and prestige; illuminating as Lucifer. Insurgency and non-conformity are truly essential to evolution. Fear not the fall, instead find the strength to rise.
Be honourable and you will gain respect. Respect will bring you influence and influence is literally raw power.
Be silent and truly listen. Stay hidden and truly observe. Assume nothing and learn what things truly are.
Never expect the impossible and never grieve the irretrievable, and most of all; never fear the inevitable.
When something is revered as beautiful, it becomes ugly.
If a virtue is thought to be altruistic, it is not worthy.
Being rises up, born of non-being.
Balance in nature reveals nothing is equal.
Strength is gained by the learning of weaknesses.
As the old master in certainty teaches;
What is difficult can be easy, just as what’s easy can be made difficult.
To know this lights the path of effortlessness. The practice of observation and deed.
Life always ends in death. From death ALL life is nourished. This is the natural worldly order.
Know the truth of the self and be enlightened.
Know the truth of the world, and you have embraced wisdom.
Recognize where they cross each other and discover the insidious.
The second installment of The Ooze, This time Jason King, Venger Satanis, and Jason Sorrell join me to discuss Objective Reality. This series will unfortunately only be a few entries as apparently most of my files are now corrupt.
So I was going through files building and organizing a PDF library and I ran across a bunch of downloads of my favorite episodes of The Ooze. So I’ve decided to create a collection of them. This is the first one of that collection and it is fitting because it is the first episode that Mindfux of Nexion L316 appears on. I was joined by Jason King and Darkf00l as well. I thought I would share it here.
It is from this dark chamber that I call from within;
Reaching out to the void, let my workings begin;
With my ritual blade I carve a seal into the ground;
Carefully chosen elementals, incantations, and sigils are laid out;
Chalice in it’s proper place, charms and talismans in their proper state;
Deep and guttural tones as I invoke, she that is the Gate;
Striking flint above the tinder, I bring forth the first fire;
A reminder of our kinship is brought forth in my mind;
What was within is also now without, and so shall be my desire;
Each candle lit in perfect sequence, incense done in the same design;
Last syllables formed and a breath from the smoke held deep;
As I exhale, she has opened the Gate:
-T.C. Downey 2021
The Sinister Creed
Satan in particular and the Dark Gods in general are a means to self-fulfillment and self-
Only by journeying through the darkness within us and without can we attain self-divinity and
thus fulfil the potentiality of our existence.
Our rites, ceremonies and practices are all life-affirming, and show us the ecstasy of existence
and the self-overcoming of the true Adept.
We are feared because we defy and seek to know and thus understand. We rejoice in living: in all
its pleasures but most particularly in its possibilities. We thus extend the frontiers of evolution
while others sleep or cry.
We detest all that enervates and would rather die than submit to anyone or anything – this pride is
the pride of Satan, and Satan is a symbol of our defiance and a sign of our life-enhancing energy.
Others see our way of living and our way of dying and are afraid.
When we hate we hate openly and with arrogance, and when we love, we love with a passion to
match this arrogance: always mindful never to love anyone so much that we cannot see them die,
for death is a natural changing of energies.
We prepare – through our magick and our ways of living – for the Age of Fire (the Aeon of the
Dark Gods) which is to come, when we elitist few shall reach out toward the stars and the galaxies and the new challenges they will bring.
Our way is difficult and dangerous and is for the few who can truly defy the matrix of illusions of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ – that stifle the potentiality of our being.
What does not kill us, makes us stronger.Codex Saerus – The Order of Nine Angles
As the world around us violently changes, I am reminded of the lobster in the boiling pot. The rich have become nothing but richer, and the poor are only poorer. The masses are so caught up in the little manufactured achievements bestowed upon them. So blinded; so stupid. Men are so emasculated and women are no longer truly venerated. Gender has become something only identified with, and is no longer celebrated or even taboo. One might think to themselves “what strides of social equality have been achieved”, but to me that begs the question; what did it cost us?
I am a person who rarely apologizes, but if any of what I am saying offends you; I am truly sorry. You see, I harbor no phobias in this topic and if it should sound as such; well tough shit, all you will get is an apology from me for it. I am all about becoming who you truly are. If this means you are something other than the once “societal standard”; by all means embrace it. Keep in mind though, I am of the old school of thought; where we do not peek over our neighbor’s fences. So when I speak on these matters, understand that I am not coming from a place of bigoted mind. The only reason, I have chosen to bring this up is, because I believe we are being robbed of something essential and this demonstrates it adequately.
What I mean is this, when I was a small child, life hit me with a series of unfortunate events. I was first stricken sick as an infant. That left me with a massive hearing loss. A short time later, my father passed away in an accident. This left my mother extremely poor and emotionally in despair. She was pregnant at the time of his passing. I went through more than several years of abuse at the hands of my step-family. Mental, physical, and sexual; its like Prego “it’s in there”. By the time I hit the ages of 11-13, my somewhat shy and self-conscious demeanor had culminated into a seemingly magnetic target for bullying. This is the part of the story, where someone should have come to my rescue, and it isn’t. No hero came, no one stuck up for me. The school didn’t care, the police gave even less of a shit.
What transpired instead was a cosmic test of mettle. You see I was born determined. Each event listed I overcame; I rose above it. By the age of 14, I knew who I truly was and nothing was going to hold me down. None of the disadvantages I inherited, would make me take a knee. I had taken on the mantra of, “Why? Because fuck you, that’s why!”. I am my own champion. A warrior within my own rite! The bullies, I bullied them. The abuse I suffered, I let it be the kindling of my internal fire. The deafness, you would have no idea it is there if I did not say so.
Understand this now, I AM NOT SPECIAL! There is nothing about me beyond my defiance and determination that made it possible to overcome. Which is what finally brings me to the impetus and thrust of this entry. “Only by journeying through the darkness within us and without can we attain self-divinity and thus fulfil the potentiality of our existence.” The Sinister Creed gives us 9 points with a singular energy, the thrust to defy and overcome.
It used to be that people of different sexual orientations had to undergo a very personal quest of self-discovery and self-empowerment. So I think, those that did so will understand where I am coming from with this. It should not just be handed to you. You will miss out on everything that truly gives self power and strength. Sure there are those that will succumb and fail, not all are worthy of truly living (in my views, not all are worthy of life). Each must pass the tests of living to be worthy of doing so. Those we coddle, we do them no service. We may love them, but we must be willing to watch them die. This is the Law of Nature, it always has been. This is a cosmic revelation, yet has been no kept secret.
So in that, what do I mean by cosmic revelation? When we look into nature what we see is constantly repeating patterns. Fractals if you will. What happens on a microscopic level, seems to also happen on larger and larger scales. The Law of Nature is no different. In the same way, that a seedling planted on the shadyside of a tree has to struggle and overcome to survive; so must we endure to survive.
With all of the solar storm activity in the news lately, it should also be apparent that the same condition exists on that level. There is in fact, a delicate balance struck in nature. Some of which we can see and comprehend, the rest though the pattern remains elusive.
To be continued…
What is the Insidious Way? Where did it come from? How does it fit in with the Order of Nine Angles and Satanism? These are questions that are valid, yet can be hard to answer, because of the nature of it. First we must understand the word’s meaning and where it comes from.
1a: having a gradual and cumulative effect : SUBTLEMerriam-Webster Dictionary
1b: of a disease : developing so gradually as to be well established before becoming apparent
2a: awaiting a chance to entrap : TREACHEROUS
2b: harmful but enticing : SEDUCTIVE
Insidious comes from a Latin word for “ambush” (insidiae), which is fitting, as this word often carries the meanings “deceitful,” “stealthy,” or “harmful in an imperceptible fashion.” The first two meanings may be applied to people or things (“an insidious enemy,” “an insidious plot”), while the last is usually applied to things (“insidious problems,” “insidious sexism”), in particular to the gradual progress of a disease (“an insidious malignancy”)Merriam-Webster Dictionary
I have read other etymology suggesting that it is rooted in the Latin word “Insidere” meaning to lie and wait for. I will leave the authenticity and factualness of that to David Myatt, if he should ever choose to digress upon it. Through that same action, and in the same way, I am beginning to talk about what it really is.
Let me explain what I mean. You see about 13 years ago, I began studying the Fourth Way as was brought forth by G.I. Gurdjieff. Coincidentally at the same time, became interested in what was being put out about Anton Long and the Order of Nine Angles, by Chloe352. What I found was an unconscious interconnection, an inner resonance if you will. Though it had not quite surfaced or begun to crystallize at that point. There would need to be a few more events before the idea of the Insidious Way came into my head.
Before I get into that though, ( I promise I will explain what I meant soon) a little background on my path to here. In the middle of my seventh grade year, we were assigned a book report. This book report was different than any I had had before, as it was the first one I had to do on a book of my own choosing. Now I was brought up Midwest Baptist or Calvary Baptist, whatever it is that you call it. However at this point in my life, I had become completely dissatisfied with it. Initially I had tried to look into the religion of my ancestors, Druidism, but what I found out was that there are no true accounts of it. Now in all fairness, as to not discount the possibility, it is completely possible that a few bloodlines have aurally passed down the traditions of old. I believe my great-grandfather tried to do so with me as a child. But I digress as I am straying.
I chose to do my report on I Ching. In the process my first exposure to another religion was Taoism. In Taoism, it is taught that sometimes the best effort is no effort at all. Patience, like the spider in his web, can often reveal the clearest easiest path to attainment. Then so in the same way, that I will wait for David Myatt to translate the root of the word, we see the very first seed planted in my mind.
Gurdjieff gave the next seed planted. The concept of Self-Remembering showed me that there was a way to silence the mind while remaining in motion. Insight could be gleaned from simply being in the state of conscious observation. He also introduced me to the concept that there are no great mysteries. That all ideas eventually become known by all, because of the nature of our species. If not in that way, then by it intuitively rising up in the mind of another.
Though somewhat out of chronological order in its placement, it is important now to talk about what I call fertile ground. Chaos Magic and my own purely Satanic ethos provide the rich soil for which this idea has grown. I fell in love with the devil long before I ever read LaVey’s “Magnum Opus”. In truth though the TSB mirrored for me a great deal of my already developing character. Yet I could not simply accept the cookie cutter “Satanity” of the CoS. So I did not pass go and they did not collect $200.
During highschool, I was an avid fan and partaker of recreational drugs. Particularly LSD and other hallucinogenics. My interest in the Occult was further nurtured by the heathenistic pagan hippie commune I bought my psychedelics from. After a dozen or so invitations to join them in ritual, I decided it might be fun to do so after ingesting some mescaline. For a time this was a steady occurrence.
As the years went on in my life, my focus, turned to Chaos Magick. I still had an interest in exploring new ideologies as they presented themselves to me. This all culminated and came to a head sometime in late 2008. I began involvement with The Cult of Cthulhu. Chaos Magick, Esotericism, Satanism, and The Fourth Way all finally fermented into fertile ground.
At the same time, Chloe was bringing more and more interesting perspectives to light on various subject matter being discussed within the circles I frequented, and at the same time consistently pointing back to the O9A. Ideas like Praxis and Wyrd instantly grabbed my interest. I had read everything I could get my hands on.
Some discussions with Chloe about concept of a memeplex, along with the more and more frequently occurring arrival of various Nexions, had begun to really hold my interest. What I found most fascinating was the scope of variety and permeance of each occurrence. I began to know the Tree of Wyrd, just as complete strangers become familiar with each other.
The O9A by its own ethos, is in fact, just as insidious as it is sinister. By the simple fact that the goal is to affect Aeonic Change, and that it is understood this happens gradually over the course of time. Through the use of Aeonic Magick and by whatever other methods it’s initiates employ, this aligns my goals with their own. Though once again, I reject the cookie cutter version of initiation. To be quite honest though, I’m almost positive that this is not considered heretical by the “inner circle”.
So I guess I should finally answer the question of what is the Insidious Way? In short, the Insidious Way is the belief, practice, and understanding that through conscious observation, dark empathy, dedicated study, development of culture, and Sinister strategy, one can overcome the Magian / Puritan and evolve as a being. Becoming Warlock Warriors aka Darkhorses. These Masters of the Self are Alchemists of Anarchy and Sultans of Subterfuge, seeking the frontline of the coming season.
Let us be like wet clay again. Let us rejoin the Aethyr. There is no better time for us than tomorrow. This should always be in our minds. What we are doing isn’t working. I can’t be the only one who sees this. A complete reset seems to me, to be the only answer.
That will be no simple task, and what transpires getting to that point, the mundanes will think sinister and insidious. As one seeker, in my many travels down one path or another; there have only been a handful of ideologies offering a complete reset. There are two which I find a harmonic resonance with. Hence the two symbols at the top of this page.
It is necessary to point out that there are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the ending point is the same. I must also disclose that as we near the top, those choices narrow further and further down. In the end it will come down to who truly reached the peak and how.
The Insidious Way offers the understanding that influence is the truest currency of this world. That it should be observed, tended to, and cultivated. That unless you actively choose what you will stand for or in; you will fall for anything. This requires a great deal of a very specific character.
One must undergo orthodoxy and then heresy to truly ascertain what G.I. Gurdjieff once referred to as right understanding. I truly believe Anton Long came to this conclusion as well. The problem, to me, is not in methods of achieving right understanding. Rather it seems to be in remaining fluid through them. As it is easy to fall into a dogmatic crystallization.
Our failure to remain malleable is often the downfall of the human psychology. We seem inherently obsessed with artificial systems and processes. I attribute this to the use of analogous abstractions. I know this is most often an extremely useful tool for the learning and understanding of the world around us. Still we seem to fixate on the method rather than it’s products and results.
One example is the public reaction to common core mathematics, when it was introduced into public school systems. There seemed to be a literal meltdown of parents all across the country. So many places I saw people complaining that they couldn’t understand it and expressing their fear that their children weren’t going to be able to use it. I was trained in the traditional manner of mathematics, and my son has done common core his entire school career.
He is just as capable if not more so than I am. So I don’t see what the big deal was. It simply meant that I had to learn a different method to achieving the same results. There are many examples of the same scenario playing out and for the sake of brevity, I am not going to go further.
One of the most fascinating and attractive things about the O9A, is the hermetic offering of many different paths on many different levels; all of which, like my analogy, lead to the same place. One must really give Anton Long his due props; it takes an extremely developed gnosis and disciplined mind, to culminate all of these things together. Even if you believe the mythos, and this really is derived from an aural tradition of antiquity, it’s still does not take away from that which is indicative of its complexity and thoroughness. Long is either independently wealthy or has lived as meager as the philosophers of old.
I imagine that it wasn’t a complete package right from the start. In fact, it has taken a lifetime of work to achieve. Though I cannot speak for, and probably shouldn’t about, what his process was; it seems to me an obvious digestion of the occult. Like myself, I suspect the painstaking effort of exploring, participating, and eventually understanding each path one at a time. Extracting the things of value, and discarding the bullshit. As they say, separating the wheat from the chaff.
A truly alchemical reaction, and with each a transmutation of his own personal character. I wonder when he looks in the mirror can he recognize the man that started down this path? For that matter, is there anything left at all? This is a prime example of what it means to be a slyman and the pinnacle of what the Insidious Way is.
It is a shame to me that I will probably never have the opportunity to know and communicate directly with Anton Long. I have associated myself with the O9A for over a decade. Even before my participation with the Nexion L316. I am no closer now, then I was then. I’m okay with that. It hasn’t weakened my resolve in any way. However it would have enriched my understanding of the source.
In that way, I am different. I am here and always available for discussion and collaboration. I am, however, no kind of teacher. What I am sharing, here and in the near future on another site, are my thoughts and my process.
The Insidious Way is to be considered like the Tao. It cannot truly be captured in writing or even conversation. For as potent as the language of symbols is, still it cannot be contained within. There are no metaphors or analogies which can depict it. Each Darkhorse’s aethyric alchemy is personal and should be. This is the only way to ensure that you are the one controlling the forces of influence.
I offer these thoughts to you, dear kinfolk. Do not make the mistake of supposing what you’re final transformation might look like. Do not force yourself to be what you are not. As you interact with each current, remain as wet clay on the potters wheel. Use the experience and the knowledge you gain. Reach deep for that creative connection. Find your groove and let it manifest. You will surprise yourself, with the beauty contained within. Not everyone will end up at the peak of this dark mountain.
What follows will seem rigid as I codify the Darkhorse Klan. However I expect to be challenged. I expect attempts made to usurp. As in nature, the struggle for alpha must remain present.
May the Dark Gods be with you and the new Aeon be Wyrdful. Until part 3.
Truth is sometimes very much like a barbed wire. There are those that can only handle it in a delicate manner. Those that don’t want anything to do with it. There are some that misjudge it’s strength and cannot appreciate it’s tendency towards eliciting pain. More so, truth, at least objective truth; is a very sinister force.
The truth is fickle and often elusive. In the same way, it is blinding and often ignored. The kind of truth I speak of is not the subjective species we’ve come to embrace. Entire religions have been built on the misapprehension of subjective truths as objective truths.
Buddhism is one such religion. To demonstrate such is as simple as “samsara”. Even if we accept the concept of cylindric life, we are still left with the subjective nature of that as truth. What I mean is, the statement of Life as a cycle of death and rebirth is not verifiable in an empirical sense. Though we can witness things being born and things dying, there is nothing empirical to create a connection between the two.
However there is a certainty in that statement. A very sinister certainty. Everything dies and if it has life it eventually meets its death. That can be verified empirically. To that understanding, I present you with the first of the Darkhorse’s Sinister Certainties.
You see certainty is not held abstractly and requires that you draw from practical experience. Praxis if you will. Certainty comes from repeatedly experiencing the same result and being able to recognize that you will in fact continue to do so. It is not an abstract concept, instead it is a glaring practical recognization.
Another of Darkhorse’s Sinister Certainties is that Everyone is slave to something. That is that everyone bends to serve something. It is by our attachments that we come to this place of servitude. Even the Buddhist monk holds attachment. Just the attachment to the idea of non-attachment should illustrate sufficiently. I know it probably looks like I’m picking on Buddhists, however that’s just not the case. One of my favorite thinkers is in fact one.
The Insidious Way brings an understanding that these attachments are better defined as influences. When correctly observed in this way, there is a recognization that you cannot be free from influence. All you can really do is choose what, how much, or simply how; you are influenced. Power is gained through learning to traffic in influence. Which brings me to another Sinister Certainty. Influence is the purest currency.
Just as you would mind your acquiring of, investing of, saving of, and spending of money; you must also mind influence in this manner. Here we come to a place where we understand that these Sinister Certainties that I have been talking about are primal influences. I choose the term primal over meta because they speak deeper than the rational mind. They speak to the very core of our being.
These statements of ominous foreshadowing are in fact terrifying to most. They boast of how easily something horrifying can unfold in front of you. You cannot hold influence over everything, but anything can hold influence over you. Which brings me to the last of the Sinister Certainties I wish to talk about tonight; Cosmically we are insignificant.
A comet does not care if you have accepted Jesus in your heart. A supernova is not concerned with your karma. For that matter, the planet Earth does not care if you can breathe.
These are not finite understandings. They are not some rigid system of supposed enlightenment. Quite the opposite, they represent the bleakness and the void. A literal Endarkenment. A disillusioning of falsities such as hope and Nirvana. I would ask my readers that have absorbed what I am putting forward to comment some other possible Sinister Certainties. This is to be done for the purpose of learning your own truths.
That’s right folks… I said pause. There is a great deal of work for me to do here, with not a lot of time available to do it. Though it isn’t evident from the surface; I have been working every single day since my return to the interwebs. I usually post up an old (or new) poem or drawing to give something to keep up awareness that I haven’t gone far. I have so much ground I want to cover, and to be honest knowing where to focus next is NOT a very easy thing to keep deciding. I try to remain organic and let what comes flow freely.
In point of fact, if you really examine anything I have created in my life, you’ll find that is a resounding theme. My dharma is my guiding light. So many times have I spoken with terms such as “aims” and “currents“. To me, these two concepts are relative to dharma. I was born into the Western world of thought and so when concepts like “path/paths” are discussed there is often a very rigid and distinct concept associated to them. Where an aim is to be pointed in an intended direction, with a particular desired endpoint in focus. A path holds a lot of the same conceptualized values as a current does, but the current doesn’t feel as constricted. So now you can kind of see where my mind goes and why this takes a great deal of work for me.
So now back to my pause. There are some extremely interesting things on my mind lately. I spend a good amount of time reading materials written by today’s O9A folks. I seem to pay the most attention to the “Wyrdsisters” lately. There is something about the writing style there that “irks” me. Almost to a point of annoyance. I am however not one to let such trivialities deter me. So I end up reading it 5 or 6 times back to back. Then I typically go down the rabbit-hole with whatever references have been given. Truth be told, I take something of value away from every post.
I suppose that, I have G.I. Gurdjieff to thank for being able to negotiate my way through this daunting writing style they have. I just wish it would get easier for me to absorb whatever is of value being discussed. Reading Gurdjieff is like listening to a knife spreading butter on the world’s driest piece of toast. He’s not alone either in this phenomenon, Aristotle has very much the same affect. Yet I have read all of both of their works. Do you want to know who else has this affect on me? Anton Long.
I’m sorry Mr. Long, but its just true. I have a really hard time reading your writings. It isn’t that, I find nothing of value; quite the opposite actually. I can even recognize that this is probably purposely done and aids in perpetuating the Labyrinth of Mythos. Still I really should express that you are among the few “living” thinkers that I am influenced by. This to me is a large compliment, because I have spent over a decade being conscious of what I will allow to hold influence over me.
Anyhow this will probably be deleted sometime soon as it really is not terribly relevant and was just a pause in the current’s flow. Kind of a mental note I’m sharing. Since I have 6 different posts in just as many states of completion and I feel like I should be putting something up for the readers.
When I think of the Elements the first one that comes to mind is water. Water is very much like Darkhorse. It is unassuming and so often overlooked. There is an almost unnatural calming effect that so many experience in its presence. It is as if the stories of old, told of the Siren’s song, were simply a metaphor for the mesmerizing trance that the water holds. As deep as the trenches of the ocean floor go, so does this great teacher’s lessons.
In as many forms as we can find water taking; we can find an equal portion of transformations owed to it. Water is the giver of life and the unspeakable horror of the lives it has taken. On a Planetary level, it is representative of the inner mind and subconsciousness. Some of its chief hallmarks being adaptive, soothing, fluid, corrosive, expanding, and overcoming.
None can deny the power that this element holds. How quickly it can shift from a calm serenity, to a swelling chaos of certain peril. On an Earthly level, it is a perfect balance of tri-state mastery (hot-tepid-cold). Seemingly able to summon hybrid variations of these states. One would be wise to court Mercury’s companion. At the surface, it should be seen as reflective. Bearing in mind, the deeper we go the more mysteries it holds. No wonder why in Alchemy it is denoted by the downward triangle.
The Slyman works to imitate the properties of water element. Seeking to absorb the prowess and mysteriousness. Minding the great wisdoms the waters hold. Not just in seeking your own level, but in your own tri-state mastery.
To this effect, the (one of the) fundamental task(s) of the Initiate Grade of the Order of Nine Angles’ Sevenfold Path termed “Insight Role” (once referred to by Mindfux as Agency); is revered by Darkhorse as essential to development. This practice of shapeshifting is both insightful and extremely useful to our ends.
I am not sure I agree with A. Long about the duration of your first insight role being a minimum of 18 months, but perhaps there is some aspect I’m overlooking. I would tend to think a build up to that undertaking would be useful, as learning to hold a shape takes a tremendous effort. Still I am a strong proponent of the notion “if its not broken, don’t fix it” and this is definitely not broken.
SHTF Preppers (Shit-Hits-The-Fan Preppers) should be flocking by the thousands to achieve this; as this is the ultimate “Grey Man” training. Changing your appearance and being able to move in and out of different scenarios undetected is only effective in a short term event. They assume they can make it to their “bug-out” location. It is also worth mentioning that in a true SHTF situation this is reactive and not proactive. Anyway I digress.
If I have failed in any way to demonstrate the powers held by this Elemental; one needs only go to Wikipedia and search “List of water deities” and stand in awe of broad scope and antiquity of its worship. For me, being of Irish Celtic descent, its resonance echoes of a heritage I will never truly get to understand. I refuse to buy into the “neo-druid” horseshit which reeks of Crowley’s golden dawn with sprinkles of wicca and flakes of shaman spice.
As a boy my great-granddad used to tell me old folklore from our homeland. Tales of fairies, warriors, and gods were his favorite to wax. There was always a water connection. So much of a connection that my family’s coat of arms distinctly has 3 sea creatures on it.
Before I stray to far from the thrust of this writing. I wanted to glean another association to water I have made, and that is to blood (more specifically bloodlines). Obvious I guess, to most maybe, but in the same way that water can be used for dilution, it can also be used for purification. To further affect it is also key to transmutation.
The process of making crack-cocaine is one excellent example of such purification and transmutation. Three very simple ingredients when processed together can take weak powdered cocaine and make it reemerge; both hardened and more potent. This of course takes place in the first ingredient water.
During times of antiquity, a tactic was used to assimilate a conquered people (thus ensuring compliance) without necessarily totally enslaving them. To maintain “total occupation” is an extremely expensive and laborsome endeavor. By simply killing off the undesirable components (in this case the warrior caste) and inter-breeding with select components; you can create a linear-sense of loyalty and submission. Halfbreeds (with desirable traits) can then be further bred back into the desired pool. Perhaps adding a physical or mental ability not present (or perhaps weaker) before.
This is not unlike the process of making crack-cocaine. As it is a formula for the breaking down, purification, and reemergence of greater intensity; it is yet another stellar example of water’s transmutative abilities. As much as water is one the great teachers; so is it one of the great tests. Though we require it to survive; it is something of a feat to survive it. The necessity to do so is the catalyst for us to become as adaptive and persistent as water itself is.
So in closing, I will implore those of the Darkhorse to be as insidious as water is. Study it, work with it, revere it, and you will unlock the secrets bore in the depths of it. The Mother, Destroyer, Nurturer, and Sorceress that is eternal. She is worshipped throughout the history of mankind. She encourages us be silent and subtle; to be formless and adaptive; to be entrancing and yet treacherous. This writing is but a shallow gleaning of a gnosis so rich and available to any who choose to undergo it. One cannot move through water fearlessly, without knowing the depths of it. As Bruce Lee once said “Be water, my friend”.
To recognize the need for the destruction of puritan ideology is indicative of wisdom. A smart man sees things for what they really are; dishonorable, oppressive; literally infested with hubris. A. Long in his practical wisdom has charged those of a specific character to presence the sinister. This is to be accomplished through particular methods with precise aim to affect Aeonic Change. To that end; Let he that has the ear, hear the words of Tsun Tzu “All men can see these tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved”. Let this be the thrust to which I Aim.
As I have stated before “Darkhorse is not a descriptor, rather a prescriptor. It is neither the map, nor the terrain; rather it is the skills to scale and survey the terrain. A developed ‘eye for detail’ and the faculty to correlate the map to the terrain; thereby reaching your aim“. Aeonic Change is the only worthy Aim to the Slyman. Only change can bring about our evolution. Adaptation is a measure of intelligence in the tri-sense of the word, and by that I mean mind/body/spirit (please excuse the laymen’s terms, I’m trying not to get lost in the abstractions). To achieve this end, I bring forth Darkhorse.
Darkhorse sees our situation for what it truly is; the proverbial David and Goliath. Like the story, the odds seem insurmountable, but with the correct action/actions the giant will topple. There are multiple tactics and combinations of tactics one could employ to do so. I will only outline and briefly discuss a few.
Permeation – This is the same tactic used by the Catholic Church during the Age of Discovery. It is a play on Tsun Tzu’s “moral law”. This is where you weave your ideology into the very fabrics of your enemy’s culture, beliefs, and society. It is done in such a way as to infect the solidarity of their opposition. I have witnessed this strategy being mostly effectively used by the O9A already over the past 10 years or so. Chloe352 is, in my opinion, the most effective employer of this strategy. You only need to go to the O9A site now and see how and where she’s operating. She openly discusses or leaves clues in her writings. In the Insidious Way (ISW) this is the Principle of Earth Element. One cannot cultivate a garden in soil that is already tainted.
Division/Isolation – This is the tactic that is so often used in the most notable military campaigns of History. This is the classic divide and conquer tactic. Division can be accomplished through a variety of means. Creating tensions between any type of diversification already present within the body of your enemy. Psychological warfare at its finest. By severing connection to each other and possibly the outside world, in such a way as to give the impression that the enemy stands by itself. This is effective because it tends to create the feelings of panic and suffocation. In the ISW this is the Principle of Air Element. One cannot breathe freely when the air is restricted.
Exhaustion – By draining the resources and therefore the vitality of our enemy, we are quickly able to tire them out. At the same time, we are able to strengthen and fortify ourselves. Tsun Szu says “Hence a wise general makes a point of foraging on the enemy. One cartload of the enemy’s provisions is equivalent to twenty of one’s own, and likewise a single picul of his provender is equivalent to twenty from one’s own store.” In the ISW this the Principle of Fire Element. One cannot be revitalized from ash and cinder.
These are merely the cursory overviews of definition, correlation, and use of such tactics in which themselves hold an esoteric fortune to those with the aptitude to make use of them. Let them be a tri-folded beacon for the kindred, for the Darkhorse sees there are in fact distinctly nine of them. 9 Worlds, 9 Rites, 9 Octaves, 9 Elements, 9 Avatars, 9 Archetypes, 9 Angles, and on and on; down the rabbit hole we go.
The Rites of Darkhorse
“For I incline toward the view that whether we do this is inextricably bound toAn Interview with Anton Long (NYC 2015)
how we understand our current predicament on Earth and thus whether we
can free ourselves from the constraints that so bind us now: abstractions,
politics, religions, a lack of self-knowing, a lack of self-honesty, dishonour,
and such personal egoistic desires as so often still subsume us. Which
constraints the experiential Seven Fold Way (the ‘physis sorcery’) of the O9A
was designed to break, containing as that esoteric Way does a necessary,
human, enantiodromia – a melding of the masculous with the muliebral – and
presencing as it does, as those who reach the stage of Internal Adept
discover, the essence of culture.”-A. Long 2015 (From an interview that “Rachael Stirling” had with A. Long)
It is providence that this, gem of a PDF (An Interview With Anton Long), has surfaced in the midst of me working on this essay. A. Long’s statement shows an eerie reflection of the very essence of Darkhorse. Perhaps that is because there is an internal synchronicity held between two that have honestly put the Work in. It may just be the admiration I have held for the man since I first came upon the curious occult entity referred to as O9A. I tend to believe the former; as most of the narrative has slowly manifested in different aspects (evidenced in my poetry from roughly 30 years ago to today) of my path. No matter the reasons, all things have resulted in the coming practice and Klan.
I have resolved to consciously put daily effort into this blog so that I might attract the likeminded or kindred. Should my words resonate, and you feel a kindred connection to the Darkhorse; you can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Be aware though I am not seeking online fantasy play pals. I am looking for those with the mind and spirit to Work in the real world. I will relist the 9A:O below.
Our 9A:O – The Nine Angled Objectives of Darkhorse Klan (DhK)
1. To seek resonance, to build strength within.
2. To absorb, embody, and evolve the Insidious Way.
3. To tap our potential as Darkhorse and gain supranatural advantages in achieving our Aims.
4. To decimate morality. To reject duality/balance as some higher attainment.
5. To be freed from prison A (mental liberation), and become a Deep One.
6. To endeavor as creators, manifestors of living breathing art.
7. To see “real world” manifestations of the Klan into fruition. Such as continued legal status, real Lodges and monetary growth. To begin the corrosion of prison B (societal liberation)
8. To construct something that lasts of the self beyond death; both internally and externally.
9. To Awaken the A:O.
There are nine Rites in the ISW; Awakening, Heresy, Transmutation, Creation, Mayhem, Sinister, Undertaking, Havoc, and Insidious; they are all interconnected and must be worked in succession as the notes in a scale do. I will get to them in time, but for the moment there is already a great deal to digest. I have been working on this post for far too long as it is. I will leave this enneagram as food for thought in closing. As it shows 9 Rites and 9 Archetypes that I associate to them.
Eight years had passed when I reopened this old WordPress. For eight years I have only Worked and manifested offline and only for my immediate benefit. I have to apologize for that, because the truth is I was discouraged by the anonymous-word-soup from those I admired and rampant sycophancy of those I abhor. There are/were those I remain in communication with. Even they are from time to time and lesser as time passes. You see outside the interwebs I don’t have to use any particular set of methods to influence the current to achieve my aims. People are sheep and I recognize this, even the smartest that I interact with still can be sheered with regularity.
Coming back here now, I am almost overwhelmed. However the A:O call to me and it is clear my work here isn’t finished. There is so very much that I simply just intuit it can at times be daunting trying to break things down for ease of reading. You would think being a father that I would have mastered this type of discourse, but there are two factors which disrupt that theory. The first is that my offspring are of me and since birth have been around me, so they understand me and even to some extent think as I do. The other thing is, and I keep this in the forefront of my mind always; you my reader are not children. Hailing from all walks of life and with different degrees of intuition and intelligence. Some are more initiated and others so mundane.
Experience has taught me not to underestimate or overvalue, and so I get lost in a labyrinth of my own design. Simply trying to balance the totality of my gnosis and communicating it effectively. I find myself jealous of writers like Chloe352 and my late comrade Ego Diabolus, they seem to effortlessly put their ideas out there effectively. I realize this is of course a healthy mixture of natural talent and practice as all artwork is. Communication is an artform, perhaps it is the root artform, as all types of art are trying to communicate something to the receptor.
Perhaps this is why I’m drawn back to this artificial disconnect (Interwebs). It is possible with a daily effort and the revealing of all aspects of myself that I might learn to be a more effective communicator. Before I kept different aspects of myself compartmentalized. In hindsight I’ve taken away some of the tools I possess. In effect, giving myself a ridiculous handicap.
My aim has never deterred as you’ll see in poetry I wrote 20-30 years ago. I am singularly focused on sparking change. I know now and have always known this battle will be fought liberating one mind at a time. This is why I have brought back Eminent Mind, DhK, and Beast Xeno. For 30 years I have walked the Lefthand Path, explored the conscious and subconscious alike. For 30 years my deeds in real life have matched my core principals. For all the ritual and practice there has to be one thing that kindles your awakening. So this is for you. I see your prison and am trapped there too. I know your shackles, for I have also felt their weight. It is so much easier a path to just follow the program, but it is empty and hollow. It is forsaken and meaningless.
The Autumn chill sets in;
An eerie silence whispers on the wind;
It doesn’t muffle what’s stirring in my head.
All my thoughts seem grim;
This vast emptiness collapsing in;
A hallow chorus chanting “go into the light.”
The light it fades;
Soaked and stained;
Stained by my darkest days.
Darkness bleeds throughout;
Carried by the brush strokes of doubt;
Does nothing ever comfort the screaming?
Where does it start or end;
This madness, I’m slipping in;
Slightly touched by March’s wicked grin.
The laughter dissipates;
Cloaked and weeping;
Weeping for my darkest days.
The new day, asked me why;
Am I wasting his precious time;
Posing questions only answered in my mind.
Might be better if it fails;
Cause there’s no wind to drive the sails;
Thus I am so tired of waiting to exhale.
My time dissipates;
No one else will wait;
Wait out the dawn on my darkest day.
– T.C. Downey/Beast Xeno 2013
Referred to by Lovecraft as the “Great Old Ones” and the “Outer Gods”, I have come to know them as The Ancient Ones. A fictional pantheon created by Lovecraft to build atmosphere in his tales, according to our tradition, the A:O are the primeval archetypes of Aethyr. HPL, by means of his stricken health, may have developed a naturally occurring deep esoteric resonance. Lovecraft inadvertently tapped into something ancient and primordial; a pervasive metaphysical essence at the beginning of all Aeons, which exists outside the physical plane. That same essence began revealing itself by manifesting unspeakable cosmic horrors in the dreams of Lovecraft.
In mankind’s early days, the A:O were nameless gods. Adepts came and went as frequently as the decades passed, each one ascribing a name(s) to the attributes recognized. Each passing generation, trying to find a better way to communicate what the A:O was. Our species lacked the capacity to describe the essence before and within them. At first we could only give it relations to elements in nature which appeared to be supranatural. When we finally mastered the art of anthropomorphization, we had all but forgotten what we were first trying to describe. An essence which was the catalyst that caused man to evolve and one day take our place among the Deep Ones; astral beings transcending dimensional existence as living conduit from which the A:O could return.
The A:O was lulled into a death-like sleep and forgotten by the world. New Gods, that is Lesser Gods; had come to take the place of the cosmic horrors, we had once so revered. Somewhere deep inside the fragments of our being, there is a residual memory of the terrors of mutagenic transformation; but we have long since faded from awareness. As the LG demanded blind obedience to its paradoxical morality, out of fear for our supposedly immortal soul. Mankind fell from our connection to that metaphysical essence (magnetic center). Yet, farther from the true nature of our being.
To the A:O we had become insignificant and irrelevant. Once ripe with so much promise and potential, we had spoiled and rotted away in the once fertile soil from whence we had grown. The LG had poisoned our prana with morality, slavery, and suffering, so that it would be suitable to sustain them. So the Darkhorse’s Work since its inception, has been focused on awakening that resonance of metaphysical essence (magnetic center). To do this we would need to work in a particular direction, and in a particular fashion.
This magnetic center can be thought of as the prisoner part of our self which is emaciated and weak. It cannot live freely. When we begin the Work, it is clear that the cage imprisoning our magnetic center is unlocked. There is no real barrier preventing us from escaping.
Unfortunately, we are far too pathetic to live outside this cage. In order to survive, we must become stronger and more potent. Therefore, to be nourished, our essence (magnetic center) should be observed from the outside occasionally at first, and then with greater frequency. Gaining knowledge of what is happening in the world. The movement between this knowledge and our essence (magnetic center) is called Self-Remembering. Self-Remembering is energy creating tremendous positive (to our benefit) change. Essence is grown stronger and more potent with proper nutrition (the correct work within our centers) and specific impressions of the world. We then can determine the correct action to take based upon the information, experience, and work. Finally leaving the cage, at that point; that our magnetic center can be called the “Real I”.
“Real I” takes over showing us that mundane (puritan) life is not an important thing. Nor is it our optimal focus. Puritan life only gives us the basics and that is if we are fortunate. Our Great Work, on the other hand, is central to becoming more Conscious. When the Work becomes our focus, we are making evolutionary progress towards an aeonic perspective; towards awakening the A:O.
It is important that the reader acknowledge that there is a particular phenomenon being discussed here. Strip away anything thought to be extraordinary, fantastic, or supernatural; something still exists that is undeniable. This essence being discussed seems to be something which can exist outside of our otherwise biomechanical nature. Throughout history you can see one religion after the next all focused in one way or the other upon it. Science can only sort of measure it and only partially explain it. It is one of the chief mysteries that have puzzled thinkers and mystics since the beginning of this Aeon.
Theistic and gnostic relate it to the concept of a “soul” or “spirit”. Maslow labelled it as “self-actualization” and theorized that it could be cultivated to one step even higher. The attainment of a “transpersonal” state. Still none of them seem to wholly capture what, all of us seem to be aware of. That “thing”, that alien essence, in which they all seem to point to; That is The A:O. That is what we must endeavor to awaken. This is the Great Work of the Darkhorse Klan Brotherhood (or just simply called “The Brotherhood”).
Still in progress… but worth a preemptive share.
T.C. Downey/Beast Xeno
(Oath of Klan Brotherhood)
I am not Special.
I know not now who I am.
I possess nothing that is original; barren of authenticity.
My ego is a carbon copy; xeroxed from true life force millenia ago.
A persona constructed by basic programming executed by a string of subconscious impulses.
I am an unwitting slave to the puritan ideological environment.
I have been stripped of my honour and robbed of my potential; expected to be compliant.
Truth now has been spoken!
I will now begin to awaken!
I vow to gain back my HONOUR and strengthen my POTENCY!
Embracing to struggle.
Against this I’ll grow stronger.
Begin to reach deeper.
Then act as a Slyman.
I cannot go alone and become free of my prison.
So I am charged to seek out my own kind.
To spark so that they may see a glimpse of light.
Should fortune have it their own struggle will also ignite.
Let this be our bond forged in more than blood.
Freedom and Purpose of ancient days and future nights.
I pledge on my life to rise with Honour and Klan!
Our 9A:O – The Nine Angled Objectives of Darkhorse Klan (DhK)
1. To seek resonance, to build strength within.
2. To absorb, embody, and evolve the Insidious Way.
3. To tap our potential as Darkhorse and gain supranatural advantages in achieving our Aims.
4. To decimate morality. To reject duality/balance as some higher attainment.
5. To be freed from prison A (mental liberation), and become a Deep One.
6. To endeavor as creators, manifestors of living breathing art.
7. To see “real world” manifestations of the Klan into fruition. Such as continued legal status, real Lodges and monetary growth. To begin the corrosion of prison B (societal liberation)
8. To construct something that lasts of the self beyond death; both internally and externally.
9. To Awaken the A:O.
Welcome back interwebs. I cannot really say I’ve missed you. There has been a couple of recent events that have brought me back to this domain. First the passing of my dear old friend, who once authored posts in this collection of various entries; Jason Sorrell / Ego Diabolus. Jason passed away on 2/22/2021. I’m not certain the particulars of why he passed so young. Nor do I care to disclose what information, I do possess about this event. Let us just celebrate the life of a man that truly lived a Satanic life. Jason understood the current on a very intuitive level, as well as, on a highly sophisticated philosophical and psychological level. He had the ability to dissertate his understanding on a very practical level. You can view his postings in right column under his name. I implore you to do so.
Speaking of having the ability to communicate very large complex concepts in a very practical manner; this brings me to the second event which has spawned my reemergence. I was recently contacted by yet another gifted thinker and also dear old friend, Chloe also known as Chloe352. This was a completely arbitrary event and though she inquired on Jason’s well being, she was totally unaware of his passing. Pure happenstance but it struck a resonance within me; one which I can only view it as providence. She was touching base with me, and filling me in on some less personal events she knew would interest me. It seems the ONA has recently caught the attention of different government agencies not just domestic but in various other regions of the world. You can read about it yourself on the o9a.org WordPress. I was informed that a few orgs and public figures had also passed, disappeared, or are in their death throws.
This opened my eyes to the current state of “satanism”. Notice I left the word lowercase. Chloe; in Nexion Zine 7.1 astutely points out that -ism is a distinctive doctrine, theory, system, or practice. Not a religion, not in my eyes anyway. I like to take Occam’s Razor and shave it right to the bone. You see to me, satan-ism is the doctrine, theory, system, practice of being satanic. That’s right kiddies, its an action; it’s something you do. More accurately, it is the way things are to be done. A search on google, reveals one sad, sad fact there is very little satan-ism going on out there, at least as a movement. I cannot speak for or about folks on an individual level, I; myself live a very satanic lifestyle and have not really contributed to the tradition in any aeonic sense. For a brief time I may have carried a little notoriety, but that’s probably just my own vanity talking. It’s now time to change that. So I’m calling myself out; I’m calling you out!
You may be thinking to yourself, “I am a troo satanist! I live my life by the core concepts of it. My deeds do in fact match my ideals. Why is it my responsibility to contribute?”, however for those words to be truthful; consider this. The mandate is intertwined in the very meaning of the words chosen to mascot this “system of being”, satan literally means “adversary; one who plots against” and devil; slanderer, accuser. So if you think being a hokey-halloween hung over- hack with a hedonistic appetite and a love for horror movies is sufficient to demonstrate solidarity; you are a fucking poser, plastic, a fraud, a fake, and you are not who I’m talking to right now. I could give two fucks, if you overdosed on 30 hits of LSD while getting ass-fucked by a gang of midget orangutans, as you performed a black mass ritual, live on TinyChat with a billion followers as witness. You are still a counterfeit and you will be culled.
Culling what an eerie word, no matter in what sense you are discussing it. Oxford says it is a reduction of a wild animal population by selective slaughter and the action of sending an inferior or surplus farm animal to be slaughtered. One might wonder the meaning when I say “no matter the sense you are discussing it.” when the definition is rather particular. You see there are other deaths besides physical ones. A physical death seems rather crude and non-congruent when placed in context of satan-ism and being satanic. Rather pointless and hollow then. Where’s the plotting? What would you be being adverse to? Where’s the slander and what of the accusation? Though there might be momentary gratification, ultimately there’s nothing really Satanic, maybe satanic in some instances, but nothing capital about it. It does nothing for the aeonic calling.
Instead slaughtering your credibility and use of the theory that you might be satanic (a yes its barely a theory), seems more fitting an undertaking. So if this fits you, maybe start calling yourself what you are; false. Because I have returned and I am your enemy.
Agios o Baphomet! Agios o Baphomet!
I have a bit of a confession to make. I suppose here is as good of a place as any. What I have to say here is this, I am and always have been mystically inclined; despite my lack of ignorance to the potential of peril in its line of thinking. My eyes see the world around me as one living thing. When I close them, if I didn’t know better; I swear I could hear the universe pulsing. My skin does this strange thing as I feel the airs passing between spaces, though I cannot explain it; it as if I can sense the disposition of the elements surrounding me. In the same way, I am often alerted to other presences in my general vicinity. To worsen matters, for as long as I can remember; I have always experienced a distinct sense of purpose. First when I was younger, I rationalized this as being predestined for something ‘greater’. As I grew older, my views shifted to it being more likely I held some function; that in fact, we all serve some function.
Perhaps this notion, could be something as fantastically romantic as; a charging coil in some abstract machine ruled reality. I sometimes entertain my mind with some epic saga of conquest and destiny. What becomes most interesting to me, is that my self induced delusions are never those of grandeur or glory. Nothing noble, no stride to save humanity. I think this speaks volumes, when contrasted with an understanding that; every event in my life has seemed to be pushing me in a way that, I could only be who I’ve become. Is Fate the seductress undeniable? Might it be I’ve always enjoyed the liberty of choice? Do I choose piety to the gods of probability and determination?
I can honestly say, that which has already transpired; has shaped the essence I bare to date. Defiance, transgression, honour, and aggression; are but a few of my virtues. I know the events that attributed to their dominance within me. As long as I can remember, I have looked to the splendor of flesh and bone. For all that man is, I marvel at its manifestation; man so vainly, failing miserably. No creature is born so wickedly cunning and insidious; to believe itself so above its environment, and yet cry for the carnage it leaves in its wake.
“A lion sleeps in the heart of every brave man.” – Turkish Proverb
Bravery means to dare or defy. This isn’t a passive action, this is an act of ferocity, brutality, and fearlessness. This is why our comparison is made to the lion. Lions are unforgiving and deliberate in their transgressions. Men can be much more ‘brave’ then lions. As a child I watched Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom a lot; it was beautiful to watch the lion take down its prey. Yet it held no more horror, than the autumn harvest being reaped.
Which brings me now to the reaping. Legends say there once was a Black Son who harvested an entire ‘Golden Age’ by the castration of his father. The Black Son represents an aeon so primal, fertile, and in many regards by today’s standards would be consider corrosive. For the Slyman though, it reveals itself an enlightenment of Vindex. This was the time of the first Titans, destined to be usurped and swallowed back up by the same darkness they sought to illuminate. During those days, ordinary men trembled under the unspeakable terrors that seemed to permeate all of existence, but extraordinary men reached deep into the fertile terrifying corrosion carving from it; embracing the enlightenment of Aeonic Calling. They were the first Titans. They gave rise to gods, which in turn gave rise to more Titans that then gave rise to more gods; each marks an Aeon. Through the presence of the darkness, by drunken indulgence in the very essence of life; the Titans embraced the calling, and reaped their plunder. Essentially redefining what we are capable of as human. That is why they were Titans. That is why we ourselves must become Titans.
After 12 hours: How trivial it all seems to be.
This morning on my way to pick up my daughter, I watched a woman hurrying, on foot in the rain. I wondered where she thought she had to go so badly that required her to take this drowning stroll down the street. What reality had she become enraptured and engrossed in that she felt obligated to make that journey and so early on a Sunday morning? Was it church? Was it her children? Was it the desire to fulfill her requirements with an employer in order for her to be able to “provide” for herself? Is there an emergency? Could it just be the rain pushing her along, but if so, why is she there to begin with?
I watched the colors of the lights. Red light. I’m programmed to have an internal alarm go off at the sight of…
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“Really I am.”
“Nothing is wrong.”
“I have a good excuse.”
“I’ll do it tomorrow.”
“It’s good enough.”
“It doesn’t bother me.”
“I can’t do anything about it.”
“I deserve it.”
“It is the best I can do.”
“It is your fault.”
“You don’t understand.”
“It wasn’t me.”
“It isn’t fair.”
To the would-be Masters of the Universe, how are we to begin to control anything if we have no control of ourselves? How can we control ourselves if we have next-to-no idea who we are? How can we know who we are if we allow ourselves to be constantly changed by the winds of influence?
“Not me”, you say? Think your in control? I won’t argue with you, or even try to prove you wrong. Your fine just as you are. Better you remain the master of dreams.
To the rest that have the awareness of Socrates, who know that we do not know, how do we change?
We are living a lie, generally speaking. We are animals that have evolved to a point were we have relative mastery of our environment. The natural environment no longer defines us. Instead, we define it. We have been raised in an artificial environment, an artifice that goes beyond merely lights in the deepest night and cool breezes on the hottest summer day. Our mental idea of our environment, our world, our society and culture, is based not on observation and experience, but on what we have been told it should be. As animals, it is only natural that we have adapted to that environment, and the result is that we are artificial people.
As artificial people, we are not “Human” as I recognize the term, but something else. Perhaps we are like machines wearing human masks. What does a machine do? A machine follows a predetermined pattern. A machine follows an established program. A machine performs a preset function when it is activated externally, or when conditions merits action. The action of a machine is neither right nor wrong. The action of a machine is either appropriate to the situation or it is not. Happenstance, or luck, is the only difference between action that fits the situation and action that is inappropriate.
One of the most important functions of these machines, a function that is key to their programing, is the ability to lie. The lies they tell that matter are to themselves, lies about what they “know”, or what is right or wrong. More over, the lies we as machines tell ourselves are cumulative. The more we tell them, the more we believe them. The more lies told, the more convincing the body of lies we create. Our lies support the lies of others, ensuring the safe and proper function of the system. To stop lying, and to stop tolerating the lies of others, is anathema to that system. The machines respond harshly to having their masks revealed. The artifice of self is a reflection of the artifice of the system. To have the lie revealed is to take responsibility for what is wrong with both the self and the world we are in.
Most have been programed not to want that kind of responsibility.
Based on my observation of these kinds of machines, I think for most the mask of lies does not fit. The few I have met who’s mask fit well I have felt a momentary sympathy for. They are truly trapped, cogs in the system that will probably grind them down to dust. Most masks do not fit, and when we sense it, we begin to wonder what is wrong with us, what is wrong with our world. Usually, we are distracted by something… our function as machines is activated by external forces, or someone comes along and helps adjust our mask and briefly relieves the feeling of discomfort our slipping mask causes. For some, the sensation of the mask slipping is enough to make us aware of it. We feel that something is wrong, and we become focused on that sensation. Our discomfort becomes enough that we can resist the distractions and the urges to conform from our peers.
We risk ostracism, but chance gaining real power and maybe even freedom.
The first step in avoiding a trap is knowing of its existence. The lie of the system is a trap. It is a mire that sucks the actual Self deeper and deeper into darkness, leaving only the machine in our place. In order to begin to deny the artifice of the system, we must start with denying the lies we tell ourselves. In esoteric circles, this process is often referred to as “the third-eye turned inward” or “the perspective of Baphomet”. It is nothing more than a sincere, objective, and deliberate observation and study of the self. While this may sound simple, truly achieving an objective and honest perspective of the self takes immense effort. The lie is initially far more comfortable than the truth. We all want to believe that we are better than we really are. The system encourages this kind of lie. We are fully invested in our masks, preferring to believe that the artifice is who we really are; we are our social status, our Facebook account, our job, rather than being something unique, independent, and consistent. Excising the lies about ourselves requires an intentional destruction of our false sense of self that we are invested in.
If we have a hope of even beginning this struggle, then we begin with a marginal sense of who or what we may be. Our goal is to know, not to guess, assume, or pretend that we have qualities we do not. We must stop dreaming of being Human, and begin to wake to being. Our program has internal fail-safes against the thoughts that suggest real independence, real observation, and real self-assessment. External processes also exist to encourage us to accept the lie, to doubt the truth, and to respond violently to those who try to reach too far too quickly. It is a dangerous process.
In observing the lies we live, one of the first things that will become apparent is how much of our time is engaged in activities that we find distasteful. Where is our zest for life? Where is the passion for those things we pursue? For so many of us, our lives are simply one compromise after another, one accommodation after another, settling for what is easily within reach rather than striving to fulfill our desires (if and when we know enough about ourselves to know our own desires and not chase what we have been told is worthy of our pursuit!). We do things we hate, and in turn learn to hate ourselves. A self loathing person is easier to control. If you are never good enough, never complete, never content, and you never know what any of those things mean, then any commercial that promised ambiguous fulfillment generates from you a mechanical response.
If this is true on the most superficial level, how much more deeply are we influenced? How much longer will we allow ourselves to be told that the missing piece to our lives is in our next purchase, cause, or political effort, instead of seeking to find it in ourselves?
We must stop being machines, easily manipulated through our programming by other machines. We must stop dreaming that we are Human. The lies we tell ourselves must end. Once we are each secure in our own truth, we find ourselves in a fortress that cannot be shaken. Mastery of the self is Mastery of the Universe.
Darrick Dishaw is a fellow student of G.I. Gurdjieff’s Work and is also knows as Venger Satanis, leader of the Cult of Cthulhu. On Friday April 28th, he posted a blog entitled The Asshole Quandary and he invited me to give it a read via private message on Facebook. I am re-posting his article and my response to provide an example of two distinct interpretations and expressions of the Work, which may serve to clear up some misconceptions about the pursuit of self.
The Asshole Quandary by Venger Satanis
Assuming you’re not an asshole, I’d like you to tell me why you’re not an asshole. Why? It’s probably not a question you usually ask yourself.
Some may think that it doesn’t make a difference. I disagree. I believe it makes all the difference in the world – and at its root such things can tell us if we’re right(eous)… if we’re well suited to the Work. Esotericism needs favorable circumstances, that’s true; however, it also requires us to start with good material. A student of the Work is deemed good material if he has both a positive attitude and aim.
Attitudes and aims come in all shapes and sizes. Negative ones discount the possibility of ascending the current Octave. Those with a negative attitude feel that life is what it is, achieving smaller goals of limited scope is perfectly acceptable to them… especially if they don’t have to put in a lot of effort. That’s fine. Such individuals have little time for Octaves, Higher Forces, or transcendence and, as such, don’t have a lasting interest in esoteric pursuits.
Those who have a negative aim want to achieve whatever it is they want to achieve because they are emotionally damaged in some way. Such folk would rather harm their enemies, for instance, than focus upon their own shortcomings and how to overcome them. In other words, they are not good material. People who say, “The end justifies the means.” have a negative aim. It’s difficult to imagine a lot of external consideration coming from such individuals.
All this goes back to the asshole quandary. Asshole: briefly defined as A) a stupid, mean, or contemptible person. B) the worst part of a place or thing. C) a worthless or annoying person.
A blatant asshole, like the expression of a negative emotion, is a red flag – easily recognized and thrown out. A non-asshole can go one of two ways. He can either not be an asshole because he’s trying to survive, perhaps even flourish, in this prison we call a world. Such a person is just as much programmed to not be an asshole as he is operating from learned behavior. “When I’m an asshole to others, sometimes others are assholes back to me.”
The other kind of non-asshole is the aforementioned good material which the Work is seeking, those who can find the Way and travel it. This third type makes effort towards not being an asshole because it’s the right thing to do, it’s in his nature. Instead of trying not to attract suffering, he tries to be good, to alleviate suffering. Now, a lot of us are sucked into bad situations populated by worthless people (worthless from an esoteric standpoint). Even if not being an asshole is in our nature, there are times when one has little choice in the matter. Under those circumstances, do the best you can… and find better circumstances ASAP!
For those curious about this, go ahead and try it. Imagine the difference. Start with negative emotions. Instead of destroying the negative – create positive. That doesn’t mean one has to be naive. It’s ok to be cynical, jaded, and skeptical. Yet, and this is important, one must strive to see(k) the good… no matter how much bad there is around us.
Positivity is defined here as… A) characterized by or displaying certainty, acceptance, or affirmation. B) Measured or moving forward or in a direction of increase or progress. C) Composed of or characterized by the presence of particular qualities or attributes; real.
Positivity is active whereas tearing away at the negative is reactive. Start with the latter, at first, if you find it easier, but always keep an eye on the former. Being positive is just as cleansing as becoming the void, and it makes those exterior parts of the self, such as false personality, transparent. That’s what we want. Too much filter robs us of illumination. Who can do careful, precise work – especially if we’re unsure of exactly how to perform it – in very poor light? Get rid of the filter so there is nothing obstructing or obscuring the view of our essence or soul – the part which needs our attention.
Lastly, I’m not going to sit here typing away and tell you that I’ve never been an asshole. I have been, I can be. It happens to everyone. That’s not the issue. The issue is that some of us occasionally make efforts not to be an asshole… and for the right reasons. Without allowing yourself to be taken advantage of, ask yourself if you’re truly being a positive force in the world. Would you rather be a decent human being because it benefits you or because it will benefit someone else?
Venger As’Nas Satanis
Cult of Cthulhu
Jason Sorrell’s Response
Thanks for the link. I think your post is an excellent introduction to the ideas of right-thinking, right-action, and the struggle to be self-aware. Some of the points presented might be a bit over-simplified, but I am assuming you are trying to speak to an audience unfamiliar with the pursuit of self via the Work.
For example, a “negative attitude” is any attitude which denies the potential of self, usually based on external influences which are incorrectly incorporated into the self-identity. “I’m not good enough, so I won’t try.” Being responsive predominantly to external influences with no consistent self leads to reactionary behavior; vengeance vs. justice and “the end justifies the means”. When your identity is the composite of external influences, your rationales will also be based in external precepts.
Suggesting that a “negative” attitude or aim is the result of emotional damage might lead some of your readers astray. It isn’t a matter of emotional damage per say, but rather it is the common state of any machine that lacks real emotions. The emotions are not damaged, rather they are unrealized or under-developed. Again, being externally influenced and responsive almost exclusively to those influences, their focus is also off. They are only really damaged relative to the possibility that they might operate more efficiently, or more correctly, but in their current configuration lack the tools or even the awareness that other possibilities exist.
Being an asshole may mean to many of your readers that someone has an acute self-interest. Usually it is a condemnation we make of others rather than an assessment of our own behaviors, especially when someone acts on their own behalf and in the process denies what we think we needed from that person. That kind of self-interest is sometimes necessary, as is the sometimes pointed expression that results in that opinion of our efforts.
Your blog may lead your readers to attempt to access and grade the behavior of others (“he’s an asshole”) more than making an assessment of themselves (“did I need to be an asshole?”). Your analogy of good vs. bad material may lead to some thinking that if they determine another to be an asshole then the asshole should simply be “recognized and thrown out”. Since the only mind we can know is our own, such assumptions are incorrect. As you point out, being an asshole is not a constant state. The most we can say is that their behavior is not favorable to our needs at the moment, or that they are not in a place that is conducive to where we are at. That may change in time. The most we might do is be aware and on-guard against such outbursts and attitudes in ourselves.
Still, a very good primer. I am certain you will have plenty of opportunity to clarify these points to your students as they arise in the future.
I feel that these two examples present a nonobjective and and objective perspective on the work. Darrick presents what might be seen as a kind of agenda, he wants people to treat one another better as well as not letting those people who might treat you poorly get you down. While that is a noble intention, the Work requires a kind of obsessive self-interest. Gurdjieff warns against being overly concerned about the opinions and attitudes of others, and especially against trying to assume or ascertain another person’s relative personal development. The only person you can know, and truly serve, is yourself. You may act on the behalf of others along the way, but always with your own goals at heart.
That level of self-interest means you sometimes will be perceived as an asshole, even a self-righteous asshole. This is just the way of things. The trap is in becoming wrapped-up in another person’s trip, which is often harder to avoid than one might think.
There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.
What are we trying to accomplish here? What is our purpose in presenting the Darkhorse Ideology and our thoughts about life, the social order, and what it is to be human? People have read this blog and asked if we are forming a new organization. Are we trying to form and lead a movement, a new school, or even an army? Do we think that we have the answers that other people need, or the truth that others seek?
To these questions, I would respond “no”. It is not our intent to lead a mass of people, to cultivate a following, or anything so altruistic or trivial. In my previous dealings with other organizations, I argued against the betterment of man for man’s sake. I opposed the idea of offering our example as a charity or kindness to those around us. “Leave the dead to the dead”, I said, “and let sleeping lions lie.” Trying to lead for the sake of leadership, for the power-trip of being a leader, teacher, master, or whatever other nonsense one might choose to indulge in, is ultimately self defeating. I have no interest in giving anyone anything, or being the lead dog on someone’s personal sled.
Everything we do here, I believe, is purely to serve ourselves. I am not an altruist. I am a pragmatist.
The only leader worth following is one who leads by example, and then it must be an example you yourself would wish to set. Leaders do what they do, not to be leaders, but because it is in their nature to act. A leader would take the same action even if no one else were there to follow the example. A leader does not concern himself with titles or the recognition for his efforts. A leader focuses on the goal.
My goals are simple. I am a Darkhorse. I wish to cultivate and develop my powers and slip unseen from the reigns of this world. I seek the truth of myself, and the freedom I am convinced will result. I am unequivocally selfish in this pursuit. I don’t care if anyone else gets there, I am only concerned for myself. If you are in my way, I will remove you. If you run with me but are a risk to my goals, I will trip you and let whatever might be chasing us have you.
We cannot be concerned about the well being of others. Time is too short.
I do, however, recognize fellow Darkhorses. I recognize my peers who are strong in mind and spirit, clear in vision, and absolutely committed to their own pursuit. We all share them same wolfish grin and hungry glint in the eye. I watch for them, because what one might do in a year, two might do in eight months. Five might do the same in four months. Time is short.
I watch for you, because I know that as I succeed, I will come under the scrutiny and attack of others. There are those who prefer to sleep, and those who would prefer that we remain asleep, and both are fearful of the noise that I make and the nightmares my example no doubt causes in the placid minds of the dead. My example exclaims that they fail at life. My example points to their hypocrisy. As such, my example is one that they cannot tolerate.
Fear the power of sleeping people in mass!
One Darkhorse can be overwhelmed by five, maybe ten sleepers. Two will hold there own against 20. A dozen can handle hundreds with ease. There is strength in numbers, but only when one is aware that each becomes as weak as the weakest among them. The wise, therefore, seek only their equal as companions and compatriots. Loyal, yes. Supportive, absolutely. But also ever vigilant for weakness, sloth, decent, and treachery, as any who recognizes that they began alone and will end alone must be.
You are ultimately responsible for yourself. Live your life for yourself and no other, and expect no other to live their life for your sake.
Part One: The Self is Distinct From Body and Mind
Everyday, I am becoming more convinced that the only pursuit worth the effort is to know myself, and that all other efforts, aims, and goals are derivative of this one pursuit. You might say that the purpose of Individual and Aware life, at least in my mind, is to know yourself. This is distinct from the purpose of life in general, which is the continuance of that life via the delivery of its genetic qualities to future generations. The parallel development and purpose between the self and the biomass that houses it is at the core of my theory.
When considering the self, this concept of being that we all seem to grasp yet continues to elude our understanding, we might ask where the self resides? What is “the self”? The most simplistic answer might be that the self resides in the body, or that the body is the self. I believe that this is incorrect, that the body is a vehicle for the self, the machine that the self uses to engage and interact with its environment. The body does not seem to be infused with this idea of self. When I clip a hangnail from my fingers, I do not sense that my self is diminished, and I imagine that even if I were to lose a limb my “self” would remain intact. My vehicle might be extremely hampered, but I would be no less me. Our language indicates this line of thinking; there is a distinction between what we mean by “me” and “my body”, though sometimes we mistakenly extend our sense of self to our body and even beyond. People in a car accident often exclaim “He hit ME!” when in fact they mean “He hit my car.” If extending self to a person’s possessions, like a car, is incorrect, then I think it is also incorrect to consider the body the self.
Unfortunately, part of our social indoctrination includes considering possessions as an extension of our being. If you are not born with it and cannot take it with you after your life has ended, it cannot be you. We bury the husks left behind by the departed. There are cases where the body and autonomous systems continue to function even when consciousness has ceased, resulting in what is referred to as “brain death”. In those situations, the medical opinion is clear that the self, whatever it is, has vacated the premises. Since the body did not leave with them, then can the body be the self?
The next most likely answer is that the self resides in the mind, or that it is the mind. What I think is meant by “mind” in those instances is the mental processes the physical organ of the brain produces. The idea of “mind” extends also to those processes, experiences, and perceptions. I believe that the assumption that the mind is the self it also incorrect. The mind, like the body, is a machine… a tool used by the self. It is the controls the self uses to manipulate the body and the processor through which information about our environment and experiences is translated in a meaningful manner. The physical aspect of the self, the brain, is merely another organ of the body. If the brain is damaged, does the self diminish, or just the capacity to function? Again, there are medical examples of trauma to the brain resulting in amnesia so severe that a new personality, sometimes even with different skills, emerges to replace the identity that was lost. If the self where the mind, would this be possible?
One might argue that the processes supported by the brain, the mind, is the self, and therefore the self is simply an elaborate function of the mind and not distinct from it. As complex as our minds are, we have managed to duplicate its processes artificially. Computers have been built that, when we discuss processing power and functions, far exceed the capabilities of our minds. Yet, the awareness which this argument suggests is an extension of those processes is not present in those machines. Awareness, I believe, is integral to the self. While the processes of the mind (and in the future a computer) may support this awareness, this self, there appears to be a distinction between them.
The brain, the mind, and its processes are a vehicle which can support and house consciousness, or the self, but the presence of the vehicle does not necessarily mean the presence of a driver. Lower animals have brains which in some cases rival our own in regard to development, yet our consciousness, our sense of self, appears to far out-strip any other example in our biosphere. This self, or consciousness, may be a phenomenon occurring as a natural evolutionary trait… simply an elaborate survival mechanism. If that is the case, why is it not present in other animals given its obvious success? Why aren’t there examples of other primates creating civilizations, or cetaceans striving to communicate with us? I suggest that it is because when discussing consciousness as a survival mechanism, specialized senses, thick coats of fur, and sharp teeth are far more advantageous than an overly developed frontal lobe. Consciousness is distinct from, and not imperative to, the survival of a single organism or a species. I believe it might serve another purpose.