The Evolution of a Slyman

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The Principal of Water Element

When I think of the Elements the first one that comes to mind is water. Water is very much like Darkhorse. It is unassuming and so often overlooked. There is an almost unnatural calming effect that so many experience in its presence. It is as if the stories of old, told of the Siren’s song, were simply a metaphor for the mesmerizing trance that the water holds. As deep as the trenches of the ocean floor go, so does this great teacher’s lessons.

In as many forms as we can find water taking; we can find an equal portion of transformations owed to it. Water is the giver of life and the unspeakable horror of the lives it has taken. On a Planetary level, it is representative of the inner mind and subconsciousness. Some of its chief hallmarks being adaptive, soothing, fluid, corrosive, expanding, and overcoming.

None can deny the power that this element holds. How quickly it can shift from a calm serenity, to a swelling chaos of certain peril. On an Earthly level, it is a perfect balance of tri-state mastery (hot-tepid-cold). Seemingly able to summon hybrid variations of these states. One would be wise to court Mercury’s companion. At the surface, it should be seen as reflective. Bearing in mind, the deeper we go the more mysteries it holds. No wonder why in Alchemy it is denoted by the downward triangle.

The Slyman works to imitate the properties of water element. Seeking to absorb the prowess and mysteriousness. Minding the great wisdoms the waters hold. Not just in seeking your own level, but in your own tri-state mastery.

To this effect, the (one of the) fundamental task(s) of the Initiate Grade of the Order of Nine Angles’ Sevenfold Path termed “Insight Role” (once referred to by Mindfux as Agency); is revered by Darkhorse as essential to development. This practice of shapeshifting is both insightful and extremely useful to our ends.

I am not sure I agree with A. Long about the duration of your first insight role being a minimum of 18 months, but perhaps there is some aspect I’m overlooking. I would tend to think a build up to that undertaking would be useful, as learning to hold a shape takes a tremendous effort. Still I am a strong proponent of the notion “if its not broken, don’t fix it” and this is definitely not broken.

SHTF Preppers (Shit-Hits-The-Fan Preppers) should be flocking by the thousands to achieve this; as this is the ultimate “Grey Man” training. Changing your appearance and being able to move in and out of different scenarios undetected is only effective in a short term event. They assume they can make it to their “bug-out” location. It is also worth mentioning that in a true SHTF situation this is reactive and not proactive. Anyway I digress.

If I have failed in any way to demonstrate the powers held by this Elemental; one needs only go to Wikipedia and search “List of water deities” and stand in awe of broad scope and antiquity of its worship. For me, being of Irish Celtic descent, its resonance echoes of a heritage I will never truly get to understand. I refuse to buy into the “neo-druid” horseshit which reeks of Crowley’s golden dawn with sprinkles of wicca and flakes of shaman spice.

As a boy my great-granddad used to tell me old folklore from our homeland. Tales of fairies, warriors, and gods were his favorite to wax. There was always a water connection. So much of a connection that my family’s coat of arms distinctly has 3 sea creatures on it.

Before I stray to far from the thrust of this writing. I wanted to glean another association to water I have made, and that is to blood (more specifically bloodlines). Obvious I guess, to most maybe, but in the same way that water can be used for dilution, it can also be used for purification. To further affect it is also key to transmutation.

The process of making crack-cocaine is one excellent example of such purification and transmutation. Three very simple ingredients when processed together can take weak powdered cocaine and make it reemerge; both hardened and more potent. This of course takes place in the first ingredient water.

During times of antiquity, a tactic was used to assimilate a conquered people (thus ensuring compliance) without necessarily totally enslaving them. To maintain “total occupation” is an extremely expensive and laborsome endeavor. By simply killing off the undesirable components (in this case the warrior caste) and inter-breeding with select components; you can create a linear-sense of loyalty and submission. Halfbreeds (with desirable traits) can then be further bred back into the desired pool. Perhaps adding a physical or mental ability not present (or perhaps weaker) before.

This is not unlike the process of making crack-cocaine. As it is a formula for the breaking down, purification, and reemergence of greater intensity; it is yet another stellar example of water’s transmutative abilities. As much as water is one the great teachers; so is it one of the great tests. Though we require it to survive; it is something of a feat to survive it. The necessity to do so is the catalyst for us to become as adaptive and persistent as water itself is.

So in closing, I will implore those of the Darkhorse to be as insidious as water is. Study it, work with it, revere it, and you will unlock the secrets bore in the depths of it. The Mother, Destroyer, Nurturer, and Sorceress that is eternal. She is worshipped throughout the history of mankind. She encourages us be silent and subtle; to be formless and adaptive; to be entrancing and yet treacherous. This writing is but a shallow gleaning of a gnosis so rich and available to any who choose to undergo it. One cannot move through water fearlessly, without knowing the depths of it. As Bruce Lee once said “Be water, my friend”.

Live Deliberately!

-Beast Xeno


The Numinous Undertaking

To recognize the need for the destruction of puritan ideology is indicative of wisdom. A smart man sees things for what they really are; dishonorable, oppressive; literally infested with hubris. A. Long in his practical wisdom has charged those of a specific character to presence the sinister. This is to be accomplished through particular methods with precise aim to affect Aeonic Change. To that end; Let he that has the ear, hear the words of Tsun Tzu “All men can see these tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved”. Let this be the thrust to which I Aim.

As I have stated before “Darkhorse is not a descriptor, rather a prescriptor. It is neither the map, nor the terrain; rather it is the skills to scale and survey the terrain. A developed ‘eye for detail’ and the faculty to correlate the map to the terrain; thereby reaching your aim“. Aeonic Change is the only worthy Aim to the Slyman. Only change can bring about our evolution. Adaptation is a measure of intelligence in the tri-sense of the word, and by that I mean mind/body/spirit (please excuse the laymen’s terms, I’m trying not to get lost in the abstractions). To achieve this end, I bring forth Darkhorse.

Darkhorse sees our situation for what it truly is; the proverbial David and Goliath.  Like the story, the odds seem insurmountable, but with the correct action/actions the giant will topple. There are multiple tactics and combinations of tactics one could employ to do so. I will only outline and briefly discuss a few.

Permeation – This is the same tactic used by the Catholic Church during the Age of Discovery. It is a play on Tsun Tzu’s “moral law”. This is where you weave your ideology into the very fabrics of your enemy’s culture, beliefs, and society. It is done in such a way as to infect the solidarity of their opposition. I have witnessed this strategy being mostly effectively used by the O9A already over the past 10 years or so. Chloe352 is, in my opinion, the most effective employer of this strategy. You only need to go to the O9A site now and see how and where she’s operating. She openly discusses or leaves clues in her writings. In the Insidious Way (ISW) this is the Principle of Earth Element. One cannot cultivate a garden in soil that is already tainted.

Division/Isolation – This is the tactic that is so often used in the most notable military campaigns of History. This is the classic divide and conquer tactic. Division can be accomplished through a variety of means. Creating tensions between any type of diversification already present within the body of your enemy. Psychological warfare at its finest. By severing connection to each other and possibly the outside world, in such a way as to give the impression that the enemy stands by itself. This is effective because it tends to create the feelings of panic and suffocation. In the ISW this is the Principle of Air Element. One cannot breathe freely when the air is restricted.

Exhaustion – By draining the resources and therefore the vitality of our enemy, we are quickly able to tire them out. At the same time, we are able to strengthen and fortify ourselves. Tsun Szu says “Hence a wise general makes a point of foraging on the enemy. One cartload of the enemy’s provisions is equivalent to twenty of one’s own, and likewise a single picul of his provender is equivalent to twenty from one’s own store.” In the ISW this the Principle of Fire Element. One cannot be revitalized from ash and cinder.

These are merely the cursory overviews of definition, correlation, and use of such tactics in which themselves hold an esoteric fortune to those with the aptitude to make use of them. Let them be a tri-folded beacon for the kindred, for the Darkhorse sees there are in fact distinctly nine of them. 9 Worlds, 9 Rites, 9 Octaves, 9 Elements, 9 Avatars, 9 Archetypes, 9 Angles, and on and on; down the rabbit hole we go.

The Rites of Darkhorse

“For I incline toward the view that whether we do this is inextricably bound to
how we understand our current predicament on Earth and thus whether we
can free ourselves from the constraints that so bind us now: abstractions,
politics, religions, a lack of self-knowing, a lack of self-honesty, dishonour,
and such personal egoistic desires as so often still subsume us. Which
constraints the experiential Seven Fold Way (the ‘physis sorcery’) of the O9A
was designed to break, containing as that esoteric Way does a necessary,
human, enantiodromia – a melding of the masculous with the muliebral – and
presencing as it does, as those who reach the stage of Internal Adept
discover, the essence of culture.”-A. Long 2015 (From an interview that “Rachael Stirling” had with A. Long)

An Interview with Anton Long (NYC 2015)

It is providence that this, gem of a PDF (An Interview With Anton Long), has surfaced in the midst of me working on this essay. A. Long’s statement shows an eerie reflection of the very essence of Darkhorse. Perhaps that is because there is an internal synchronicity held between two that have honestly put the Work in. It may just be the admiration I have held for the man since I first came upon the curious occult entity referred to as O9A. I tend to believe the former; as most of the narrative has slowly manifested in different aspects (evidenced in my poetry from roughly 30 years ago to today) of my path. No matter the reasons, all things have resulted in the coming practice and Klan.

I have resolved to consciously put daily effort into this blog so that I might attract the likeminded or kindred. Should my words resonate, and you feel a kindred connection to the Darkhorse; you can contact me at beastxeno@gmail.com. Be aware though I am not seeking online fantasy play pals. I am looking for those with the mind and spirit to Work in the real world. I will relist the 9A:O below.

Our 9A:O – The Nine Angled Objectives of Darkhorse Klan (DhK)

1. To seek resonance, to build strength within.
2. To absorb, embody, and evolve the Insidious Way.
3. To tap our potential as Darkhorse and gain supranatural advantages in achieving our Aims.
4. To decimate morality. To reject duality/balance as some higher attainment.
5. To be freed from prison A (mental liberation), and become a Deep One.
6. To endeavor as creators, manifestors of living breathing art.
7. To see “real world” manifestations of the Klan into fruition. Such as continued legal status, real Lodges and monetary growth. To begin the corrosion of prison B (societal liberation)
8. To construct something that lasts of the self beyond death; both internally and externally.
9. To Awaken the A:O.

There are nine Rites in the ISW; Awakening, Heresy, Transmutation, Creation, Mayhem, Sinister, Undertaking, Havoc, and Insidious; they are all interconnected and must be worked in succession as the notes in a scale do. I will get to them in time, but for the moment there is already a great deal to digest. I have been working on this post for far too long as it is. I will leave this enneagram as food for thought in closing. As it shows 9 Rites and 9 Archetypes that I associate to them.

Live Deliberately!


Eminent Mind’s ReAwakening

Eight years had passed when I reopened this old WordPress. For eight years I have only Worked and manifested offline and only for my immediate benefit. I have to apologize for that, because the truth is I was discouraged by the anonymous-word-soup from those I admired and rampant sycophancy of those I abhor. There are/were those I remain in communication with. Even they are from time to time and lesser as time passes. You see outside the interwebs I don’t have to use any particular set of methods to influence the current to achieve my aims. People are sheep and I recognize this, even the smartest that I interact with still can be sheered with regularity.

Coming back here now, I am almost overwhelmed. However the A:O call to me and it is clear my work here isn’t finished. There is so very much that I simply just intuit it can at times be daunting trying to break things down for ease of reading. You would think being a father that I would have mastered this type of discourse, but there are two factors which disrupt that theory. The first is that my offspring are of me and since birth have been around me, so they understand me and even to some extent think as I do. The other thing is, and I keep this in the forefront of my mind always; you my reader are not children. Hailing from all walks of life and with different degrees of intuition and intelligence. Some are more initiated and others so mundane.

Experience has taught me not to underestimate or overvalue, and so I get lost in a labyrinth of my own design. Simply trying to balance the totality of my gnosis and communicating it effectively. I find myself jealous of writers like Chloe352 and my late comrade Ego Diabolus, they seem to effortlessly put their ideas out there effectively. I realize this is of course a healthy mixture of natural talent and practice as all artwork is. Communication is an artform, perhaps it is the root artform, as all types of art are trying to communicate something to the receptor.

Perhaps this is why I’m drawn back to this artificial disconnect (Interwebs). It is possible with a daily effort and the revealing of all aspects of myself that I might learn to be a more effective communicator. Before I kept different aspects of myself compartmentalized. In hindsight I’ve taken away some of the tools I possess. In effect, giving myself a ridiculous handicap.

My aim has never deterred as you’ll see in poetry I wrote 20-30 years ago. I am singularly focused on sparking change. I know now and have always known this battle will be fought liberating one mind at a time. This is why I have brought back Eminent Mind, DhK, and Beast Xeno. For 30 years I have walked the Lefthand Path, explored the conscious and subconscious alike. For 30 years my deeds in real life have matched my core principals. For all the ritual and practice there has to be one thing that kindles your awakening. So this is for you. I see your prison and am trapped there too. I know your shackles, for I have also felt their weight. It is so much easier a path to just follow the program, but it is empty and hollow. It is forsaken and meaningless.

-Live Deliberately

T.C. Downey


My Darkest Day (an old poem)

The Autumn chill sets in;

An eerie silence whispers on the wind;

It doesn’t muffle what’s stirring in my head.

All my thoughts seem grim;

This vast emptiness collapsing in;

A hallow chorus chanting “go into the light.”

The light it fades;

Soaked and stained;

Stained by my darkest days.

Darkness bleeds throughout;

Carried by the brush strokes of doubt;

Does nothing ever comfort the screaming?

Where does it start or end;

This madness, I’m slipping in;

Slightly touched by March’s wicked grin.

The laughter dissipates;

Cloaked and weeping;

Weeping for my darkest days.

The new day, asked me why;

Am I wasting his precious time;

Posing questions only answered in my mind.

Might be better if it fails;

Cause there’s no wind to drive the sails;

Thus I am so tired of waiting to exhale.

My time dissipates;

No one else will wait;

Wait out the dawn on my darkest day.

– T.C. Downey/Beast Xeno 2013


The A:O

Referred to by Lovecraft as the “Great Old Ones” and the “Outer Gods”, I have come to know them as The Ancient Ones. A fictional pantheon created by Lovecraft to build atmosphere in his tales, according to our tradition, the A:O are the primeval archetypes of Aethyr. HPL, by means of his stricken health, may have developed a naturally occurring deep esoteric resonance. Lovecraft inadvertently tapped into something ancient and primordial; a pervasive metaphysical essence at the beginning of all Aeons, which exists outside the physical plane. That same essence began revealing itself by manifesting unspeakable cosmic horrors in the dreams of Lovecraft.

In mankind’s early days, the A:O were nameless gods. Adepts came and went as frequently as the decades passed, each one ascribing a name(s) to the attributes recognized. Each passing generation, trying to find a better way to communicate what the A:O was. Our species lacked the capacity to describe the essence before and within them. At first we could only give it relations to elements in nature which appeared to be supranatural. When we finally mastered the art of anthropomorphization, we had all but forgotten what we were first trying to describe. An essence which was the catalyst that caused man to evolve and one day take our place among the Deep Ones; astral beings transcending dimensional existence as living conduit from which the A:O could return.

The A:O was lulled into a death-like sleep and forgotten by the world. New Gods, that is Lesser Gods; had come to take the place of the cosmic horrors, we had once so revered. Somewhere deep inside the fragments of our being, there is a residual memory of the terrors of mutagenic transformation; but we have long since faded from awareness. As the LG demanded blind obedience to its paradoxical morality, out of fear for our supposedly immortal soul. Mankind fell from our connection to that metaphysical essence (magnetic center). Yet, farther from the true nature of our being.

To the A:O we had become insignificant and irrelevant. Once ripe with so much promise and potential, we had spoiled and rotted away in the once fertile soil from whence we had grown. The LG had poisoned our prana with morality, slavery, and suffering, so that it would be suitable to sustain them. So the Darkhorse’s Work since its inception, has been focused on awakening that resonance of metaphysical essence (magnetic center). To do this we would need to work in a particular direction, and in a particular fashion.

This magnetic center can be thought of as the prisoner part of our self which is emaciated and weak. It cannot live freely. When we begin the Work, it is clear that the cage imprisoning our magnetic center is unlocked. There is no real barrier preventing us from escaping.

Unfortunately, we are far too pathetic to live outside this cage. In order to survive, we must become stronger and more potent. Therefore, to be nourished, our essence (magnetic center) should be observed from the outside occasionally at first, and then with greater frequency. Gaining knowledge of what is happening in the world. The movement between this knowledge and our essence (magnetic center) is called Self-Remembering. Self-Remembering is energy creating tremendous positive (to our benefit) change. Essence is grown stronger and more potent with proper nutrition (the correct work within our centers) and specific impressions of the world. We then can determine the correct action to take based upon the information, experience, and work. Finally leaving the cage, at that point; that our magnetic center can be called the “Real I”.

“Real I” takes over showing us that mundane (puritan) life is not an important thing. Nor is it our optimal focus. Puritan life only gives us the basics and that is if we are fortunate. Our Great Work, on the other hand, is central to becoming more Conscious. When the Work becomes our focus, we are making evolutionary progress towards an aeonic perspective; towards awakening the A:O.

It is important that the reader acknowledge that there is a particular phenomenon being discussed here. Strip away anything thought to be extraordinary, fantastic, or supernatural; something still exists that is undeniable. This essence being discussed seems to be something which can exist outside of our otherwise biomechanical nature. Throughout history you can see one religion after the next all focused in one way or the other upon it. Science can only sort of measure it and only partially explain it. It is one of the chief mysteries that have puzzled thinkers and mystics since the beginning of this Aeon.

Theistic and gnostic relate it to the concept of a “soul” or “spirit”. Maslow labelled it as “self-actualization” and theorized that it could be cultivated to one step even higher. The attainment of a “transpersonal” state. Still none of them seem to wholly capture what, all of us seem to be aware of. That “thing”, that alien essence, in which they all seem to point to; That is The A:O. That is what we must endeavor to awaken. This is the Great Work of the Darkhorse Klan Brotherhood (or just simply called “The Brotherhood”).

Still in progress… but worth a preemptive share.

Live Deliberately,

T.C. Downey/Beast Xeno


Oath and Angles

(Oath of Klan Brotherhood)

I am not Special.

I know not now who I am.

I possess nothing that is original; barren of authenticity.

My ego is a carbon copy; xeroxed from true life force millenia ago.

A persona constructed by basic programming executed by a string of subconscious impulses.

I am an unwitting slave to the puritan ideological environment.

I have been stripped of my honour and robbed of my  potential; expected to be compliant.

Truth now has been spoken!

I will now begin to awaken!

I vow to gain back my HONOUR and strengthen my POTENCY!

Embracing to struggle.

Against this I’ll grow stronger.

Begin to reach deeper.

Then act as a Slyman.

I cannot go alone and become free of my prison.

So I am charged to seek out my own kind. 

To spark so that they may see a glimpse of light.

Should fortune have it their own struggle will also ignite.

Let this be our bond forged in more than blood.

Freedom and Purpose of ancient days and future nights.

I pledge on my life to rise with Honour and Klan! 


Our 9A:O – The Nine Angled Objectives of Darkhorse Klan (DhK)

1. To seek resonance, to build strength within.
2. To absorb, embody, and evolve the Insidious Way.
3. To tap our potential as Darkhorse and gain supranatural advantages in achieving our Aims.
4. To decimate morality. To reject duality/balance as some higher attainment.
5. To be freed from prison A (mental liberation), and become a Deep One.
6. To endeavor as creators, manifestors of living breathing art.
7. To see “real world” manifestations of the Klan into fruition. Such as continued legal status, real Lodges and monetary growth. To begin the corrosion of prison B (societal liberation)
8. To construct something that lasts of the self beyond death; both internally and externally.
9. To Awaken the A:O.


2021 State of the Satanic Union

Welcome back interwebs. I cannot really say I’ve missed you. There has been a couple of recent events that have brought me back to this domain. First the passing of my dear old friend, who once authored posts in this collection of various entries; Jason Sorrell / Ego Diabolus. Jason passed away on 2/22/2021. I’m not certain the particulars of why he passed so young. Nor do I care to disclose what information, I do possess about this event. Let us just celebrate the life of a man that truly lived a Satanic life. Jason understood the current on a very intuitive level, as well as, on a highly sophisticated philosophical and psychological level. He had the ability to dissertate his understanding on a very practical level. You can view his postings in right column under his name. I implore you to do so.

Speaking of having the ability to communicate very large complex concepts in a very practical manner; this brings me to the second event which has spawned my reemergence. I was recently contacted by yet another gifted thinker and also dear old friend, Chloe also known as Chloe352. This was a completely arbitrary event and though she inquired on Jason’s well being, she was totally unaware of his passing. Pure happenstance but it struck a resonance within me; one which I can only view it as providence. She was touching base with me, and filling me in on some less personal events she knew would interest me. It seems the ONA has recently caught the attention of different government agencies not just domestic but in various other regions of the world. You can read about it yourself on the o9a.org WordPress. I was informed that a few orgs and public figures had also passed, disappeared, or are in their death throws.

This opened my eyes to the current state of “satanism”. Notice I left the word lowercase. Chloe; in Nexion Zine 7.1 astutely points out that -ism is a distinctive doctrine, theory, system, or practice. Not a religion, not in my eyes anyway. I like to take Occam’s Razor and shave it right to the bone. You see to me, satan-ism is the doctrine, theory, system, practice of being satanic. That’s right kiddies, its an action; it’s something you do. More accurately, it is the way things are to be done. A search on google, reveals one sad, sad fact there is very little satan-ism going on out there, at least as a movement. I cannot speak for or about folks on an individual level, I; myself live a very satanic lifestyle and have not really contributed to the tradition in any aeonic sense. For a brief time I may have carried a little notoriety, but that’s probably just my own vanity talking. It’s now time to change that. So I’m calling myself out; I’m calling you out!

You may be thinking to yourself, “I am a troo satanist! I live my life by the core concepts of it. My deeds do in fact match my ideals. Why is it my responsibility to contribute?”, however for those words to be truthful; consider this. The mandate is intertwined in the very meaning of the words chosen to mascot this “system of being”, satan literally means “adversary; one who plots against” and devil; slanderer, accuser. So if you think being a hokey-halloween hung over- hack with a hedonistic appetite and a love for horror movies is sufficient to demonstrate solidarity; you are a fucking poser, plastic, a fraud, a fake, and you are not who I’m talking to right now. I could give two fucks, if you overdosed on 30 hits of LSD while getting ass-fucked by a gang of midget orangutans, as you performed a black mass ritual, live on TinyChat with a billion followers as witness. You are still a counterfeit and you will be culled.

Culling what an eerie word, no matter in what sense you are discussing it. Oxford says it is a reduction of a wild animal population by selective slaughter and the action of sending an inferior or surplus farm animal to be slaughtered. One might wonder the meaning when I say “no matter the sense you are discussing it.” when the definition is rather particular. You see there are other deaths besides physical ones. A physical death seems rather crude and non-congruent when placed in context of satan-ism and being satanic. Rather pointless and hollow then. Where’s the plotting? What would you be being adverse to? Where’s the slander and what of the accusation? Though there might be momentary gratification, ultimately there’s nothing really Satanic, maybe satanic in some instances, but nothing capital about it. It does nothing for the aeonic calling.

Instead slaughtering your credibility and use of the theory that you might be satanic (a yes its barely a theory), seems more fitting an undertaking. So if this fits you, maybe start calling yourself what you are; false. Because I have returned and I am your enemy.

Live Deliberately!

-T.C. Downey


The Black Son Of Scythe

Agios o Baphomet! Agios o Baphomet!

I have a bit of a confession to make. I suppose here is as good of a place as any. What I have to say here is this, I am and always have been mystically inclined; despite my lack of ignorance to the potential of peril in its line of thinking. My eyes see the world around me as one living thing. When I close them, if I didn’t know better; I swear I could hear the universe pulsing. My skin does this strange thing as I feel the airs passing between spaces, though I cannot explain it; it as if I can sense the disposition of the elements surrounding me. In the same way, I am often alerted to other presences in my general vicinity. To worsen matters, for as long as I can remember; I have always experienced a distinct sense of purpose. First when I was younger, I rationalized this as being predestined for something ‘greater’. As I grew older, my views shifted to it being more likely I held some function; that in fact, we all serve some function.

Perhaps this notion, could be something as fantastically romantic as; a charging coil in some abstract machine ruled reality. I sometimes entertain my mind with some epic saga of conquest and destiny. What becomes most interesting to me, is that my self induced delusions are never those of grandeur or glory. Nothing noble, no stride to save humanity. I think this speaks volumes, when contrasted with an understanding that; every event in my life has seemed to be pushing me in a way that, I could only be who I’ve become. Is Fate the seductress undeniable? Might it be I’ve always enjoyed the liberty of choice? Do I choose piety to the gods of probability and determination?

I can honestly say, that which has already transpired; has shaped the essence I bare to date. Defiance, transgression, honour, and aggression; are but a few of my virtues. I know the events that attributed to their dominance within me. As long as I can remember, I have looked to the splendor of flesh and bone. For all that man is, I marvel at its manifestation; man so vainly, failing miserably. No creature is born so wickedly cunning and insidious; to believe itself so above its environment, and yet cry for the carnage it leaves in its wake.

“A lion sleeps in the heart of every brave man.” – Turkish Proverb

Bravery means to dare or defy. This isn’t a passive action, this is an act of ferocity, brutality, and fearlessness. This is why our comparison is made to the lion. Lions are unforgiving and deliberate in their transgressions. Men can be much more ‘brave’ then lions. As a child I watched Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom a lot; it was beautiful to watch the lion take down its prey. Yet it held no more horror, than the autumn harvest being reaped.

Which brings me now to the reaping. Legends say there once was a Black Son who harvested an entire ‘Golden Age’ by the castration of his father. The Black Son represents an aeon so primal, fertile, and in many regards by today’s standards would be consider corrosive. For the Slyman though, it reveals itself an enlightenment of Vindex. This was the time of the first Titans, destined to be usurped and swallowed back up by the same darkness they sought to illuminate. During those days, ordinary men trembled under the unspeakable terrors that seemed to permeate all of existence, but extraordinary men reached deep into the fertile terrifying corrosion carving from it; embracing the enlightenment  of Aeonic Calling. They were the first Titans. They gave rise to gods, which in turn gave rise to more Titans that then gave rise to more gods; each marks an Aeon. Through the presence of the darkness, by drunken indulgence in the very essence of life; the Titans embraced the calling, and reaped their plunder. Essentially redefining what we are capable of as human. That is why they were Titans. That is why we ourselves must become Titans.


More evidence…

Beginning to Understand

After 12 hours: How trivial it all seems to be.

This morning on my way to pick up my daughter, I watched a woman hurrying, on foot in the rain. I wondered where she thought she had to go so badly that required her to take this drowning stroll down the street. What reality had she become enraptured and engrossed in that she felt obligated to make that journey and so early on a Sunday morning? Was it church? Was it her children? Was it the desire to fulfill her requirements with an employer in order for her to be able to “provide” for herself? Is there an emergency? Could it just be the rain pushing her along, but if so, why is she there to begin with?

I watched the colors of the lights. Red light. I’m programmed to have an internal alarm go off at the sight of…

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Temet Nosce or Life Is a Book of Lies

“I’m fine.”

“Really I am.”

“Nothing is wrong.”

“I have a good excuse.”

“I’ll do it tomorrow.”

“It’s good enough.”

“I’m happy.”

“It doesn’t bother me.”

“I can’t do anything about it.”

“I deserve it.”

“It is the best I can do.”

“It is your fault.”

“You don’t understand.”

“It wasn’t me.”

“It isn’t fair.”

To the would-be Masters of the Universe, how are we to begin to control anything if we have no control of ourselves? How can we control ourselves if we have next-to-no idea who we are? How can we know who we are if we allow ourselves to be constantly changed by the winds of influence?

“Not me”, you say? Think your in control? I won’t argue with you, or even try to prove you wrong. Your fine just as you are. Better you remain the master of dreams.

To the rest that have the awareness of Socrates, who know that we do not know, how do we change?

We are living a lie, generally speaking. We are animals that have evolved to a point were we have relative mastery of our environment. The natural environment no longer defines us. Instead, we define it. We have been raised in an artificial environment, an artifice that goes beyond merely lights in the deepest night and cool breezes on the hottest summer day. Our mental idea of our environment, our world, our society and culture, is based not on observation and experience, but on what we have been told it should be. As animals, it is only natural that we have adapted to that environment, and the result is that we are artificial people.

As artificial people, we are not “Human” as I recognize the term, but something else. Perhaps we are like machines wearing human masks. What does a machine do? A machine follows a predetermined pattern. A machine follows an established program. A machine performs a preset function when it is activated externally, or when conditions merits action. The action of a machine is neither right nor wrong. The action of a machine is either appropriate to the situation or it is not. Happenstance, or luck, is the only difference between action that fits the situation and action that is inappropriate.

One of the most important functions of these machines, a function that is key to their programing, is the ability to lie. The lies they tell that matter are to themselves, lies about what they “know”, or what is right or wrong. More over, the lies we as machines tell ourselves are cumulative. The more we tell them, the more we believe them. The more lies told, the more convincing the body of lies we create. Our lies support the lies of others, ensuring the safe and proper function of the system. To stop lying, and to stop tolerating the lies of others, is anathema to that system. The machines respond harshly to having their masks revealed. The artifice of self is a reflection of the artifice of the system. To have the lie revealed is to take responsibility for what is wrong with both the self and the world we are in.

Most have been programed not to want that kind of responsibility.

Based on my observation of these kinds of machines, I think for most the mask of lies does not fit. The few I have met who’s mask fit well I have felt a momentary sympathy for. They are truly trapped, cogs in the system that will probably grind them down to dust. Most masks do not fit, and when we sense it, we begin to wonder what is wrong with us, what is wrong with our world. Usually, we are distracted by something… our function as machines is activated by external forces, or someone comes along and helps adjust our mask and briefly relieves the feeling of discomfort our slipping mask causes. For some, the sensation of the mask slipping is enough to make us aware of it. We feel that something is wrong, and we become focused on that sensation. Our discomfort becomes enough that we can resist the distractions and the urges to conform from our peers.

We risk ostracism, but chance gaining real power and maybe even freedom.

The first step in avoiding a trap is knowing of its existence. The lie of the system is a trap. It is a mire that sucks the actual Self deeper and deeper into darkness, leaving only the machine in our place. In order to begin to deny the artifice of the system, we must start with denying the lies we tell ourselves. In esoteric circles, this process is often referred to as “the third-eye turned inward” or “the perspective of Baphomet”. It is nothing more than a sincere, objective, and deliberate observation and study of the self. While this may sound simple, truly achieving an objective and honest perspective of the self takes immense effort. The lie is initially far more comfortable than the truth. We all want to believe that we are better than we really are. The system encourages this kind of lie. We are fully invested in our masks, preferring to believe that the artifice is who we really are; we are our social status, our Facebook account, our job, rather than being something unique, independent, and consistent. Excising the lies about ourselves requires an intentional destruction of our false sense of self that we are invested in.

If we have a hope of even beginning this struggle, then we begin with a marginal sense of who or what we may be. Our goal is to know, not to guess, assume, or pretend that we have qualities we do not. We must stop dreaming of being Human, and begin to wake to being. Our program has internal fail-safes against the thoughts that suggest real independence, real observation, and real self-assessment. External processes also exist to encourage us to accept the lie, to doubt the truth, and to respond violently to those who try to reach too far too quickly. It is a dangerous process.

In observing the lies we live, one of the first things that will become apparent is how much of our time is engaged in activities that we find distasteful. Where is our zest for life? Where is the passion for those things we pursue? For so many of us, our lives are simply one compromise after another, one accommodation after another, settling for what is easily within reach rather than striving to fulfill our desires (if and when we know enough about ourselves to know our own desires and not chase what we have been told is worthy of our pursuit!). We do things we hate, and in turn learn to hate ourselves. A self loathing person is easier to control. If you are never good enough, never complete, never content, and you never know what any of those things mean, then any commercial that promised ambiguous fulfillment generates from you a mechanical response.

If this is true on the most superficial level, how much more deeply are we influenced? How much longer will we allow ourselves to be told that the missing piece to our lives is in our next purchase, cause, or political effort, instead of seeking to find it in ourselves?

We must stop being machines, easily manipulated through our programming by other machines. We must stop dreaming that we are Human. The lies we tell ourselves must end. Once we are each secure in our own truth, we find ourselves in a fortress that cannot be shaken. Mastery of the self is Mastery of the Universe.


Asshole Quandry and Response

Darrick Dishaw is a fellow student of G.I. Gurdjieff’s Work and is also knows as Venger Satanis, leader of the Cult of Cthulhu.  On Friday April 28th, he posted a blog entitled The Asshole Quandary and he invited me to give it a read via private message on Facebook.  I am re-posting his article and my response to provide an example of two distinct interpretations and expressions of the Work, which may serve to clear up some misconceptions about the pursuit of self.

 The Asshole Quandary by Venger Satanis

Assuming you’re not an asshole, I’d like you to tell me why you’re not an asshole.  Why?  It’s probably not a question you usually ask yourself.

Some may think that it doesn’t make a difference.  I disagree.  I believe it makes all the difference in the world – and at its root such things can tell us if we’re right(eous)… if we’re well suited to the Work.  Esotericism needs favorable circumstances, that’s true; however, it also requires us to start with good material.  A student of the Work is deemed good material if he has both a positive attitude and aim.

Attitudes and aims come in all shapes and sizes.  Negative ones discount the possibility of ascending the current Octave.  Those with a negative attitude feel that life is what it is, achieving smaller goals of limited scope is perfectly acceptable to them… especially if they don’t have to put in a lot of effort.  That’s fine.  Such individuals have little time for Octaves, Higher Forces, or transcendence and, as such, don’t have a lasting interest in esoteric pursuits.

Those who have a negative aim want to achieve whatever it is they want to achieve because they are emotionally damaged in some way.  Such folk would rather harm their enemies, for instance, than focus upon their own shortcomings and how to overcome them.  In other words, they are not good material.  People who say, “The end justifies the means.”  have a negative aim.  It’s difficult to imagine a lot of external consideration coming from such individuals.

All this goes back to the asshole quandary.  Asshole:  briefly defined as A) a stupid, mean, or contemptible person.  B) the worst part of a place or thing.  C) a worthless or annoying person.

A blatant asshole, like the expression of a negative emotion, is a red flag – easily recognized and thrown out.  A non-asshole can go one of two ways.  He can either not be an asshole because he’s trying to survive, perhaps even flourish, in this prison we call a world.  Such a person is just as much programmed to not be an asshole as he is operating from learned behavior.  “When I’m an asshole to others, sometimes others are assholes back to me.”

The other kind of non-asshole is the aforementioned good material which the Work is seeking, those who can find the Way and travel it.  This third type makes effort towards not being an asshole because it’s the right thing to do, it’s in his nature.  Instead of trying not to attract suffering, he tries to be good, to alleviate suffering.  Now, a lot of us are sucked into bad situations populated by worthless people (worthless from an esoteric standpoint).  Even if not being an asshole is in our nature, there are times when one has little choice in the matter.  Under those circumstances, do the best you can… and find better circumstances ASAP!

For those curious about this, go ahead and try it.  Imagine the difference.  Start with negative emotions.  Instead of destroying the negative – create positive.  That doesn’t mean one has to be naive.  It’s ok to be cynical, jaded, and skeptical.  Yet, and this is important, one must strive to see(k) the good… no matter how much bad there is around us.

Positivity is defined here as… A) characterized by or displaying certainty, acceptance, or affirmation.  B) Measured or moving forward or in a direction of increase or progress.  C) Composed of or characterized by the presence of particular qualities or attributes; real.

Positivity is active whereas tearing away at the negative is reactive.  Start with the latter, at first, if you find it easier, but always keep an eye on the former.  Being positive is just as cleansing as becoming the void, and it makes those exterior parts of the self, such as false personality, transparent.  That’s what we want.  Too much filter robs us of illumination.  Who can do careful, precise work – especially if we’re unsure of exactly how to perform it – in very poor light?  Get rid of the filter so there is nothing obstructing or obscuring the view of our essence or soul – the part which needs our attention.

Lastly, I’m not going to sit here typing away and tell you that I’ve never been an asshole.  I have been, I can be.  It happens to everyone.  That’s not the issue.  The issue is that some of us occasionally make efforts not to be an asshole… and for the right reasons.  Without allowing yourself to be taken advantage of, ask yourself if you’re truly being a positive force in the world.  Would you rather be a decent human being because it benefits you or because it will benefit someone else?

Awake!

Venger As’Nas Satanis

Ipsissimus

Cult of Cthulhu

Jason Sorrell’s Response

Thanks for the link. I think your post is an excellent introduction to the ideas of right-thinking, right-action, and the struggle to be self-aware. Some of the points presented might be a bit over-simplified, but I am assuming you are trying to speak to an audience unfamiliar with the pursuit of self via the Work.

For example, a “negative attitude” is any attitude which denies the potential of self, usually based on external influences which are incorrectly incorporated into the self-identity. “I’m not good enough, so I won’t try.” Being responsive predominantly to external influences with no consistent self leads to reactionary behavior; vengeance vs. justice and “the end justifies the means”. When your identity is the composite of external influences, your rationales will also be based in external precepts.

Suggesting that a “negative” attitude or aim is the result of emotional damage might lead some of your readers astray. It isn’t a matter of emotional damage per say, but rather it is the common state of any machine that lacks real emotions. The emotions are not damaged, rather they are unrealized or under-developed. Again, being externally influenced and responsive almost exclusively to those influences, their focus is also off. They are only really damaged relative to the possibility that they might operate more efficiently, or more correctly, but in their current configuration lack the tools or even the awareness that other possibilities exist.

Being an asshole may mean to many of your readers that someone has an acute self-interest. Usually it is a condemnation we make of others rather than an assessment of our own behaviors, especially when someone acts on their own behalf and in the process denies what we think we needed from that person. That kind of self-interest is sometimes necessary, as is the sometimes pointed expression that results in that opinion of our efforts.

Your blog may lead your readers to attempt to access and grade the behavior of others (“he’s an asshole”) more than making an assessment of themselves (“did I need to be an asshole?”). Your analogy of good vs. bad material may lead to some thinking that if they determine another to be an asshole then the asshole should simply be “recognized and thrown out”. Since the only mind we can know is our own, such assumptions are incorrect. As you point out, being an asshole is not a constant state. The most we can say is that their behavior is not favorable to our needs at the moment, or that they are not in a place that is conducive to where we are at. That may change in time. The most we might do is be aware and on-guard against such outbursts and attitudes in ourselves.

Still, a very good primer. I am certain you will have plenty of opportunity to clarify these points to your students as they arise in the future.

-J

I feel that these two examples present a nonobjective and and objective perspective on the work.  Darrick presents what might be seen as a kind of agenda, he wants people to treat one another better as well as not letting those people who might treat you poorly get you down.  While that is a noble intention, the Work requires a kind of obsessive self-interest.  Gurdjieff warns against being overly concerned about the opinions and attitudes of others, and especially against trying to assume or ascertain another person’s relative personal development.  The only person you can know, and truly serve, is yourself.  You may act on the behalf of others along the way, but always with your own goals at heart.

That level of self-interest means you sometimes will be perceived as an asshole, even a self-righteous asshole.  This is just the way of things.  The trap is in becoming wrapped-up in another person’s trip, which is often harder to avoid than one might think.

There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.

 


Intentions of an Eminent Mind

What are we trying to accomplish here?  What is our purpose in presenting the Darkhorse Ideology and our thoughts about life, the social order, and what it is to be human?  People have read this blog and asked if we are forming a new organization.  Are we trying to form and lead a movement, a new school, or even an army?  Do we think that we have the answers that other people need, or the truth that others seek?

To these questions, I would respond “no”.  It is not our intent to lead a mass of people, to cultivate a following, or anything so altruistic or trivial.  In my previous dealings with other organizations, I argued against the betterment of man for man’s sake.  I opposed the idea of offering our example as a charity or kindness to those around us.  “Leave the dead to the dead”, I said, “and let sleeping lions lie.”  Trying to lead for the sake of leadership, for the power-trip of being a leader, teacher, master, or whatever other nonsense one might choose to indulge in, is ultimately self defeating.  I have no interest in giving anyone anything, or being the lead dog on someone’s personal sled.

Everything we do here, I believe, is purely to serve ourselves.  I am not an altruist.  I am a pragmatist.

The only leader worth following is one who leads by example, and then it must be an example you yourself would wish to set.  Leaders do what they do, not to be leaders, but because it is in their nature to act.  A leader would take the same action even if no one else were there to follow the example.  A leader does not concern himself with titles or the recognition for his efforts.  A leader focuses on the goal.

My goals are simple.  I am a Dark Horse.  I wish to cultivate and develop my powers and slip unseen from the reigns of this world.  I seek the truth of myself, and the freedom I am convinced will result.  I am unequivocally selfish in this pursuit.  I don’t care if anyone else gets there, I am only concerned for myself.  If you are in my way, I will remove you.  If you run with me but are a risk to my goals, I will trip you and let whatever might be chasing us have you.

We cannot be concerned about the well being of others.  Time is too short.

I do, however, recognize fellow Dark Horses.  I recognize my peers who are strong in mind and spirit, clear in vision, and absolutely committed to their own pursuit.  We all share them same wolfish grin and hungry glint in the eye.  I watch for them, because what one might do in a year, two might do in eight months.  Five might do the same in four months.  Time is short.

I watch for you, because I know that as I succeed, I will come under the scrutiny and attack of others.  There are those who prefer to sleep, and those who would prefer that we remain asleep, and both are fearful of the noise that I make and the nightmares my example no doubt causes in the placid minds of the dead.  My example exclaims that they fail at life.  My example points to their hypocrisy.  As such, my example is one that they cannot tolerate.

Fear the power of sleeping people in mass!

One Dark Horse can be overwhelmed by five, maybe ten sleepers.  Two will hold there own against 20.  A dozen can handle hundreds with ease.  There is strength in numbers, but only when one is aware that each becomes as weak as the weakest among them.  The wise, therefore, seek only their equal as companions and compatriots.  Loyal, yes.  Supportive, absolutely.  But also ever vigilant for weakness, sloth, decent, and treachery, as any who recognizes that they began alone and will end alone must be.

You are ultimately responsible for yourself.  Live your life for yourself and no other, and expect no other to live their life for your sake.


A Theoretical Purpose for Consciousness and the Mote of a Soul Part One

Part One: The Self is Distinct From Body and Mind

Everyday, I am becoming more convinced that the only pursuit worth the effort is to know myself, and that all other efforts, aims, and goals are derivative of this one pursuit. You might say that the purpose of Individual and Aware life, at least in my mind, is to know yourself. This is distinct from the purpose of life in general, which is the continuance of that life via the delivery of its genetic qualities to future generations. The parallel development and purpose between the self and the biomass that houses it is at the core of my theory.

When considering the self, this concept of being that we all seem to grasp yet continues to elude our understanding, we might ask where the self resides? What is “the self”? The most simplistic answer might be that the self resides in the body, or that the body is the self. I believe that this is incorrect, that the body is a vehicle for the self, the machine that the self uses to engage and interact with its environment. The body does not seem to be infused with this idea of self. When I clip a hangnail from my fingers, I do not sense that my self is diminished, and I imagine that even if I were to lose a limb my “self” would remain intact. My vehicle might be extremely hampered, but I would be no less me. Our language indicates this line of thinking; there is a distinction between what we mean by “me” and “my body”, though sometimes we mistakenly extend our sense of self to our body and even beyond. People in a car accident often exclaim “He hit ME!” when in fact they mean “He hit my car.” If extending self to a person’s possessions, like a car, is incorrect, then I think it is also incorrect to consider the body the self.

Unfortunately, part of our social indoctrination includes considering possessions as an extension of our being. If you are not born with it and cannot take it with you after your life has ended, it cannot be you. We bury the husks left behind by the departed. There are cases where the body and autonomous systems continue to function even when consciousness has ceased, resulting in what is referred to as “brain death”. In those situations, the medical opinion is clear that the self, whatever it is, has vacated the premises. Since the body did not leave with them, then can the body be the self?

The next most likely answer is that the self resides in the mind, or that it is the mind. What I think is meant by “mind” in those instances is the mental processes the physical organ of the brain produces. The idea of “mind” extends also to those processes, experiences, and perceptions. I believe that the assumption that the mind is the self it also incorrect. The mind, like the body, is a machine… a tool used by the self. It is the controls the self uses to manipulate the body and the processor through which information about our environment and experiences is translated in a meaningful manner. The physical aspect of the self, the brain, is merely another organ of the body. If the brain is damaged, does the self diminish, or just the capacity to function? Again, there are medical examples of trauma to the brain resulting in amnesia so severe that a new personality, sometimes even with different skills, emerges to replace the identity that was lost. If the self where the mind, would this be possible?

One might argue that the processes supported by the brain, the mind, is the self, and therefore the self is simply an elaborate function of the mind and not distinct from it. As complex as our minds are, we have managed to duplicate its processes artificially. Computers have been built that, when we discuss processing power and functions, far exceed the capabilities of our minds. Yet, the awareness which this argument suggests is an extension of those processes is not present in those machines. Awareness, I believe, is integral to the self. While the processes of the mind (and in the future a computer) may support this awareness, this self, there appears to be a distinction between them.

The brain, the mind, and its processes are a vehicle which can support and house consciousness, or the self, but the presence of the vehicle does not necessarily mean the presence of a driver. Lower animals have brains which in some cases rival our own in regard to development, yet our consciousness, our sense of self, appears to far out-strip any other example in our biosphere. This self, or consciousness, may be a phenomenon occurring as a natural evolutionary trait… simply an elaborate survival mechanism. If that is the case, why is it not present in other animals given its obvious success? Why aren’t there examples of other primates creating civilizations, or cetaceans striving to communicate with us? I suggest that it is because when discussing consciousness as a survival mechanism, specialized senses, thick coats of fur, and sharp teeth are far more advantageous than an overly developed frontal lobe. Consciousness is distinct from, and not imperative to, the survival of a single organism or a species. I believe it might serve another purpose.


A Theoretical Purpose for Consciousness and the Mote of a Soul Part Two

Part Two: Parallel Development of a Material and Non-Material Universe

If the self is not the mind and not the body, then what is it? What is its purpose? From where does it originate? I have been a proponent of the idea that immortality is a function of species, that the clear biological function of any organism is to pass on its genetic material to future generations. This idea suggests that all species are in fact one super-organism, and possibly that all life on a sphere is a massive hyper-organism. Immortality is not present in its individual components, and while the experiences of one component may be of use to the process of improving the viability of the species, ultimately it is only the biological imperative which is of any lasting importance. Life lives, with little concern for anything else. With this in mind, the only kind of immortality that an individual personality can hope to achieve is through their actions and their impact on the culture of their species. I have said that we should build monuments in time to our greatness to influence the future.

While I still support this idea, I am now uncertain if that is the real limit.

I find myself considering the possibility of a parallel development which is supported by the biological and material development of our universe. All matter comes from one source, as far as we have been able to discern. Our bodies, in different proportions and combinations, are made of the same stuff as stars. When I considered in the past the phenomenon of self, of Awareness and Consciousness, when looking at the diverse fauna of our planet, my initial conclusion was that this Awareness and Consciousness served no real purpose other than being a relatively unique evolutionary tool for seeing to the future viability of the species. We are the smartest monkeys, and all our development and enlightenment makes certain that our sperm and eggs continue to dominate our biosphere.

When I consider, though, the hyper-organism, all life on our planet, the purpose of Awareness and Consciousness, of self, becomes readily apparent. As richly diverse as life is on out planet, it cannot survive because it is locked to this one sphere. As Stephen Hawkings has pointed-out, the destruction of this world, given enough time, is a mathematical certainty. The only way in which life survives is if it thrives and expands to new environments, to leave this biosphere and inhabit or create a new one, life must have an organism which is Aware enough to recognize the imperative and Conscious enough to create the means to deal with the problem. A clear marker of the presence of Awareness is the understanding that the death of the body is inevitable and Consciousness is denoted by behaviors which indicate the organism acts in accordance to this awareness.

Look around at your fellow smart-monkeys and ask yourself how many of them act as if their inevitable demise is a reality, let alone the potential demise of their species. Life requires the evolution of Awareness and Consciousness in order to become truly viable on a universal scale.

I would propose that the human species has evolved to support and house the Awareness and Consciousness of the biology of our world. Just as the brain houses the Awareness and Consciousness that drives the body, the Aware and Conscious members of humanity might be the housing for the Awareness and Consciousness of our biosphere. Our interactions, properly organized, are leading to a Global Awareness, and eventually a Global Consciousness. Not a hive-mind, but rather a biosphere Awakening, with the survival of the life originating on this sphere being its priority. This imperative originates with the life on our planet itself, which is rooted in the formation of the planet, itself spawned by the formation of our local star and its system, to the organizing of matter an energy of our galaxy, to the on-going reorganization of the universe. Everything in our universe is simply a different energy-matter matrix, a particular expression of potentiality.

Stars exists for millions of years. They proceed from instability in molecular clouds which cause the material to coalesce into one body. The gravity of the mass eventually results in hydrogen fusion. Fusion continues through the elements until iron results, and the star begins to collapse and die. The whole process takes billions of years, and in the entire time of the star’s development its fate is already known. It is, as far as the development of new and ongoing energy/matter matrices, a dead-end. A super-nova may agitate the molecular structure of other clouds which begins the process anew, but this is not a matter of choice and the result is the same in future stars. Evolution does not occur.

Without the presence of life and the possibility of Awareness, energy and matter would continue the process of expansion, re-organization, and collapse infinitely and with no change or purpose. This is the state of a purely material universe, and if this were the totality of the universe then Awareness and Consciousness, or self, would be superficial or even counter-productive. If, however, there is a parallel process involved, then self becomes of tantamount importance. The explosion of the “Big Bang” leads to the expansion and re-organization of energy/matter matrices. Some conditions produce stars, and in turn some conditions produce planets which might sustain life, and then life develops under the proper conditions and in some of those biospheres it develops to the point of being able to support Awareness. This Awareness, in some cases, supports Consciousness. In Consciousness, we find a matrix that is the most rare of all the expression in the universe. It is a matrix that can be self-determining. Just as the imperative of biological life is to survive and thrive, it is possible that the imperative of Awareness and Consciousness is to break from of the material cycle of our universe, to create something which may be able to endure the “Big Crunch” and beyond.

If all material for our universe and every energy/matter matrix within it has a common source, then I would propose that it is the same for Awareness. This is not to suggest a “god” or creator deity, but simply a hidden universal Awareness that co-exists with the obvious universal body. Just as humanity is the Awareness and potential Consciousness of our biosphere, so might all Conscious biospheres be the Awareness and potential Consciousness of this universal self. Just as each organism is a component of the total material of the universe, then each Consciousness is a component of the universal totality. “God” would be an over-simplification. In our own biosphere, we see patterns and processes repeat; cellular function is akin to the function of the organism is akin to the function of the species is akin to the function of the biosphere. As below, so above.


A Theoretical Purpose for Consciousness and the Mote of a Soul Part Three

Part Three: Cumulative Awareness Leads to the Rise of Consciousness of Greater Magnitudes

While a universal Awareness may be under development, it is far from Conscious. Lower animals display indications of awareness of a rudimentary sort, but not Consciousness anywhere near our degree of development. Again, I believe that the eventual universal consciousness will not be a hive-mind, but a collaborative interaction between all conscious beings with a singular priority.

Survival.
When a material body dies, it is reintegrated into the mass to eventually be re-organized and expressed in another matrix. Using what has been established here as our model, it seems a rational possibility to me that our Awareness, distinct from our matter (neither body nor mind), would also re-integrate into the mass-Awareness. Undeveloped, that Awareness would simply disperse and be re-organized into a new form. Matter returns to the local communal pool of total matter that makes up the planet, just as the planet will eventually return to the total communal pool of material that makes up our star-system, and so on. Awareness might also spring from a communal pool which our species has become developed enough to house and express.

What that communal Awareness lacks is a communal Consciousness which allows for self-determination. It is the Conscious Self which has a lasting quality. This is apparent in our own history; those members of our species who demonstrated what seems to be a great Aware and Conscious Self have also often left a lasting mark on our society. Their works continue to inspire (move the spirit) others, which suggests that something of themselves lives in the material world. That something lacks consciousness, and yet also inspires greater Awareness and Consciousness in others. The immaterial is having an influence on the material.

If consciousness can be likened to a kind of energy, even in some instances measured by its absence at the point of death (a measurable drop in electrical charge, biochemical interaction, and even the weight of the body), and energy does cannot be destroyed, then we can establish that there is something permanent and lasting derivative of the human experience. Undeveloped, this “carrier wave” might simply disperse, but what might be the result if the Consciousness is trained, disciplined, and well developed? Might that Consciousness take on a quality that differs from its origin? Might those qualities lead to changes in the communal pool of Awareness and increase the likelihood of cumulative species, biosphere, galactic, and universal level of consciousness?

What communal Awareness lacks is a communal Consciousness which allows for self-determination. Our species is not yet developed enough to allow for a significant portion of the population to arise as Conscious and able to integrate our disparate parts into a unified whole, even if briefly. I do not believe that this potential even requires the Awakening of all, or even a majority of the species. Indeed, such an event might be disastrous. Our own brains are divided into different functions, with only a portion of its neurons dedicated to conscious thought. Our species may require that some of its member-cells remain Asleep, handling other tasks while its conscious cells deal with critical judgment.

The same potential model for survival via Consciousness would be necessary on a universal scale to escape the cycle of material integration/de-integration/re-integration. Again, I believe that this would be the imperative of a collection of Conscious beings, and that said Consciousness would have to be so successful in their development and viability that escaping that cycle would be the last barrier to cross before breaking into a truly new manner of existence.

The necessity of such beings in this model leads me to postulate that Consciousness via Awareness can be sustained and self-determined, avoiding dispersal upon re-integration with the communal Awareness, and in fact changing the nature of that Awareness to make the possibility of other Consciousnesses enduring re-integration possible. The proposed “soul” as an immortal aspect of the self is therefore not a fore-drawn conclusion, but rather a possibility. Within each of us resides a mote of a soul, the potential for a dynamic Awareness which may become a true Consciousness and achieve self-determination. Immortality may be possible, but it requires recognizing and developing that within the concept of self which is lasting; not body, mind, or even personality. I can not point to it directly, but like the evidence of black holes being their effect on the surrounding space, I am beginning to think that there is evidence present that suggests the mechanisms I am describing at work.

 


Are You One of Us?

The Ideology of the Darkhorse is first and foremost be on the route to self-actualization and self-determination, the discovery of the self and the mastery of the self.  Whenever an artificial system of law or rule has been established, it has resulted in corruption which eventually leads to collapse… what we are witnessing in our societies today.  The concept of maturity is being in a position where no man need tell you what you can or cannot do.  You are responsible for yourself, earning your own rewards or suffering the consequences which are natural results of your choices and actions.  Our society is in a perpetual state of adolescence, playing at life instead of living.

The Darkhorse is the engine that is unseen or unexpected.  The Darkhorse is the wolf in sheep’s clothing, the rip-current in calm waters, the mass of the iceberg not apparent based on its slight presence on the surface of the water.  The actions of the Darkhorse are subtle, intentionally hidden, meticulously planned, and executed with precision.  The Darkhorse is the unseen opponent of the system which stands in plain sight.  The Darkhorse is the sucker-punch, the hidden knife, and the cosmic joy-buzzer.  The Darkhorse seeks mastery over his enemies through the mastery of self.  He who knows the self can never be slave to another.

A Darkhorse uses experience to determine certain truths by which they live.  A Darkhorse fully expects, based on experience, that the sun will rise in the morning somewhere in the East, and will set in the evening somewhere in the West.  A Darkhorse knows, however, that while experience is an excellent teacher, it is also subject to change.  The sun may rise and fall tomorrow as it has done for eons, but a Darkhorse knows that only a fool would consider any event a certainty.  Observation in the moment is the only way the world can truly be experienced, not through the results of the past or the expectations of the future.  For the Darkhorse, the now always is the priority.

Put simply, the reason that artificial codes of law fail is because shit happens.  The Darkhorse knows this, and is not surprised or daunted by it.

Thus, as a Darkhorse, it is not our intent to offer to anyone a code-of-conduct, laws, rules, or any other edicts artificially foisted upon others.  Instead, what we offer are standards which we have embraced ourselves, standards with which we test the reality around us.  We follow the examples of others, and will no doubt see our examples followed, but we strive to remain always ourselves in the moment.  These are the standards of our tribe, our Klan, what each self-actualized Individual, who we consider a brother or sister, chooses to use as a base for their own behavior.  We do not ask people to change themselves and conform to these standards, but rather suggest that those who already apply these standards to themselves may have a place amongst us.  Ours is a living, evolving process, and as we test and discover what assists in meeting our goals (and what does not) these  standards will evolve.

We are unabashedly elitist.  We have no interest in converting or even recruiting from the mundane herd.  We are different, and those who sense within themselves the same kind of difference are welcome to participate in our Klan. To stand amongst us, one must first realize that you stand apart from all others.  Self Actualization is the full Awareness of Self as whole distinct from all that is around us.  Those who stand with us must sense this potential within themselves, act in a manner which this sense dictates, and in an effort to further this Actualization.

An example of our effort to be distinct from the sleeping world is in our use of language.  We strive for our use of to be more precise.  When we say “human”, we mean something far more definite than the up-right walking hairless primate you might see blankly staring into the distance on their daily commute to their assigned slave-pen.  Language in its common use is slip-shod, allowing for ambiguity in meaning and complacency in thought. The precision in language is just one example where we make the effort to define ourselves for ourselves, insisting that our words are precisely what we mean, and not what one might think is inferred.

Though there are many who might appreciate what we have developed here, and even be in agreement with the majority of it, if they do not share in our methodology and goals with the same commitment, then they are not a part of us.  The methodology is simple, seek the truth of the self and the world around you in each moment, strive to be only that which you are, and work to better yourself.  The commitment to this must be nothing short of total.

We are unabashedly at war with a system that we recognize is making slaves of all of us.  Our war is a guerrilla-war, a war of attrition, a war of ideas and physical acts.  We are opposed to the mundane concepts of State, Government, and Institution.  We seek to replace the society with one consisting of small self-governing communities in which each member of a community is a participant as a matter of choice and not happenstance. We seek a social order not based on a moral code of conduct, but rather a personal sense of honor and rationality.  Instead of forcing a person to conform to the ideology of the State, we strive for a society where one has the freedom to seek out a community that is best suited for themselves or to form their own community if none can be found.  While in time such communities will come to manifest hidden in the plain sight of our enemies, we for now begin with a diaspora (Greek: scattered) community of Awakened and pre-Awakened individuals.

Our community, and the way its Individual members conduct themselves, is based on the following basic standards.  These standards continue to remain consistently valid, but are not dogma.  Evolution should be expected:

 To live Honorably begins with accepting personal responsibility for yourself.  It is impractical to rely on the efforts and “good will” of others.  This Honor extends as the idea of self extends; one’s family and Klan are reflections and extensions of one’s selfActing honorably (with personal responsibility) in our own efforts and dealings with one another ensures that we continue to evolve and remain self-actualized.

This idea, living an honorable life, is what defines us.  It determines our Individual behavior and by choosing to live in this manner we are faced with certain undeniable consequences of that choice.  Striving to live an Honorable Life binds us as a cohesive community and distinguishes us from those who live without honor.

Living an Honorable Life, for us, is the only life worth living.  If we cannot live as self-determining Individuals, if we cannot be more than the slaves of a faceless and soulless system, then we would prefer not to live.  Our Honor is why we resist, why we fight, and why we strive to forge for ourselves a new way to live.  We each recognize that it is better to die fighting for the right to live Honorably than to live without Honor… indeed, life without Honor is no life at all!

Honor means that we cherish those who are of our own kind, the brother and sisters of our Klan, above all others.  We cherish them as we cherish ourselves or more so.  We are prepared to come their aid and defense, even at the hazard of our own lives, fully aware that they share the same urges regarding us based on our common and shared Honor.  Those who are as we are seek to live, in a real, active sense of life.  Life cannot be sustained in isolation, but thrives as Individuals work toward mutual benefit.  Furthermore, only the living can tend to the the living.  The dead tend to no one.

Those who are not of us, who do not share in the same sense of Honor, are of little consequence.  The only real danger they present is in their numbers.  They do not deserve our respect or trust, and should be dealt with cautiously.  Those who lack Honor may often prove useful in some circumstances, but we should always remember that they are children dreaming arrogantly of being adults, and deserve our contempt because they lack the courage, strength of will, or vision to be as we are.  They are the plants of a poorly tended garden.  In this garden we must tread carefully to avoid the thorns and brambles.  We must be watchful of those flowers which will bare the sweetest fruit, and transplant them to our garden when we can.  We must be prepared to pull a few weeds if necessary, knowing though that in the end it is best to allow this garden to choke on its own excess and random growth.

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, means to be fully prepared and willing to defend ourselves; physically, philosophically, and spiritually, by any means necessary.  We must be ready to die for our Honor, and fully prepared to use lethal force in our Honor’s defense.  We must be mindful that our war is ongoing and our enemy is relentless.  We will let them marvel at our victories while wondering at our methodologies.  Hasten not your end in brash flashes of valor, but strive to grown strong while the enemy grows weak.  The broken and the dead have little or no defense.

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to be loyal to our brothers and sisters, those who share in our Honor.  We must defend them as we would defend ourselves, at the risk of our own lives if necessary.  We must respect them as we respect ourselves.  No one Individual has the right to tell another how to live, but in that we have chosen to live with Honor, those who share this ideology are as much a part of ourselves as is our own arms.  To each of those within our Klan, we swear a personal oath of loyalty, respect, and kinsman-ship.  We would rather die before violating this oath.  If we are defined as distinct from all others by any means, it is by this standard alone.

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to seek justice and comeuppance for any misdeed against ourselves or the members of our Klan.  We will avenge any act of dishonor towards ourselves or our brothers and sisters.  This is not meant to be a compulsive obsession with vengeance, but rather a simple balancing of the books.  Remember that when you call someone your enemy, you are calling them your equal, worthy of your admiration and energy.  Do not waste such high praise on fools.  The wise know when they have been wronged, and when they have been merely distracted momentarily.

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to be prepared to die before submitting to the tyrannical system of the mundane world.  Every act should be an act of defiance.  The system by it’s very nature seeks to strip us of our Honor.  Death in defense of that Honor is a Warrior’s Death, and we are each prepared to die as Warriors before allowing ourselves to be dishonored and humiliated by that system.  Submission to that system is in fact a kind of death, a slow and painful purifying of the self, the ultimate lie in denial of the truth.  Every breath in opposition to the system and in pursuit of the self is a breath of life.  Every breath in submission to that system is a breath toward inevitable suffocation.

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to recognize and understand that no oath, pledge, or promise offered by one who lacks honor can be trusted.  Thus, no one who is not of us can ever be trusted to keep their word.  No plans should be made which rely upon one who is not of us to fulfill their obligations.  Those who are not of us should be dealt with cautiously, if dealt with at all.  How can one who does not know themselves promise anything to another?  The person who makes that promise without a sense of self will cease to exist, replaced by another who will not feel obligated to what was promised, who might not even remember what oaths where given, and who will probably resent be held accountable for the words of their former self!

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to recognize and understand that our word, pledge, or promise is our bond.  This, we do not give lightly.  We fulfill our obligations.  To fail to do so is to be without Honor, to be labeled a coward, and to be considered unworthy.  Our word given, even to one without Honor, is an obligation that we must strive to keep.  Our words must be truths.  Therefore, think before speaking, know what you are saying, and remember that the words of an Awakened Man may as well be written in his own blood.

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to recognize the value and strength of an Oath.  It would be unwise to give one’s Oath to one without Honor.  Once and Oath is given, the Individually giving the Oath is Honor-bound to fulfill it.  The Oath can only be released if it is fulfilled, the person to whom it was given releases the person who gave his Oath from his obligation, or the person to whom the Oath was given dies.  An Oath is recognized among our kinsman as one which is preceded or proceeded by words “By my Honor…”.

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to settle our serious disputes amongst ourselves.  When a dispute cannot be settled, we should seek the arbitration of a mutually trusted and neutral kinsman.  If that fails (the kinsman cannot come to a decision), and if neither side is willing to concede, then a trial by combat or duel will settle the dispute.  Anyone who impugns our honor or that of our kinsman will be challenged to combat.  It is therefore wise to always let that which truly does not matter slide.

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to accept the consequences of our decisions.  Thus, if we have a dispute with a kinsman, and we seek arbitration, then we must accept and abide by their decision.  Once decided, we must consider the matter closed and behind us.  Keep in mind that we are all going to die.  There will never be another like ourselves or the man with which we have a dispute again.  Pity the fool who wastes time engaged in the trivial pursuit of imagined slights and inconsequential games of one-up-man ship!

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to treat our kinsman not only as we would wish to be treated, but as we would wish to treat ourselves.  When dealing with members of our Klan, we should strive to be kind, generous, fair, and courteous.

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to recognize that one cannot meet the needs of others until one has done all that can be done to meet your own needs.  Thus, it is the responsibility of each member of the Klan to see to their own needs and the needs of their households to the limits of their abilities.

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to recognize that the need of one kinsman is the need of all.  Thus, no kinsman should feel shame in asking his Klan for aid when aid is needed.  While each kinsman should take pride in their ability to help another in need, no kinsman should expect a return on that which is given, or to place an obligation on the one requiring aid.  That which is given should only be given freely.  If one cannot give freely, then he should not give at all.

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to always strive to act with wisdom.  Be patient and contemplative.  Seek the greatest benefit for the minimal risk.  Be prepared to act when opportunity presents itself.  Do nothing to dishonor yourself or your Klan.  While being prepared to die, it is better to be alive to fight on.  Suffer consequence only when consequence serves a purpose.

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to recognize that all your choices and your actions are fully your responsibility.  We are at war, and in war comes risk.  If you risk too much, act to rashly, or without proper preparation, then you must accept the consequences of your choice.  To accept those consequences as your own is an act of Honor.  To draw blame to others, especially your Klan, is an act of a coward.  No Individual will be ever be given orders.  Every Individual must make their own choices.

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to recognize and understand that every Individual has a right to choose.  If a kinsman has no Oaths to fulfill and wishes to leave the Klan, then he should do so with no ill-will.  If a kinsman leaves the Klan to avoid fulfilling an Oath, or is forced to leave because he dishonors himself or the Klan, he should be labeled a coward and harried whenever opportunity presents itself.  If one such as this continues to dishonor the Klan, he should be neutralized.  Suffer not fools.

To live with Honor, to be self-responsible, is to ensure that we share our ideals with our mates, and to pass these ideals on to our children, allowing for them when they come of age to make the choice to either live as we do or live among those without Honor.

Those who can live by these standards may be able to call themselves a Darkhorse.  We recognize our own, and act accordingly.  To be one of us, seek one of us.

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The following are the proposed standards for a potential community of Darkhorse Klan members residing in the same geographical area, ideally within a neighborhood, suburb, town, or city where the majority of citizens are members of the Darkhorse Klan.  Modifications to these directives for our current state of diaspora are written in italics. If no modification is present, the existing directive is considered applicable to our current state.

Each member of the community must demonstrate the ability and inclination to provide for themselves.  This will be best demonstrated by having gainful employment and if employed by another party also having some manner of self-employment that they are actively engaged in. While scattered, any means of acquiring one’s needs is valid, but self-sufficiency is ideal.

Each member of the community must understand and agree that the community’s success is based entirely on our Individual ability and dedication to the support of his or her fellow members in the community.  Each member of the community is expected to be able to see to their own needs, turning to the community for support only in dire circumstances.  The community will regularly gather, share, and distribute resources contributed by each member’s surplus that they voluntarily donate to the cause to help ease the burden of being self-sustaining, but no one member of the community can become reliant on that aid save for those who situation is extra-ordinary such as significant illness or extreme old age.  In diaspora, each cell will have to determine how and to what extent this should be executed.  It is wise for each member to try to generate a small surplus, and for each member to share with others what is needed and what is available.

Each member of the community must recognize that the success of the whole is tied to the success of the Individual, thus it is in each member’s best interest to support by whatever means are available the efforts of each Individual member.  Such support need not be financial.  It can be word-of-mouth promotion, participation, or assisting with tasks in another member’s projects.  This also has the benefit of creating varying opportunities and experiences for all members of the community, increasing each member’s skill-set.

Each member of the community must have the ability to defend themselves from outside attack.  Owning and maintaining weapons, especially firearms, is expected and encouraged.  The study and practice of a martial-art is also useful.

Each member of the community must recognize and respect the sanctity of a fellow member’s house and household.  The community will have common property and common meeting areas, but one’s home remains one’s castle.  The community will come together to assist with the maintenance and improvement of each member’s residence, but only at the behest and within the wishes of the member who resides there.

Each member will swear an Oath of Loyalty to one another, recognizing each member of the community as their brother and sister.  This will mean respecting the sanctity of the romantic relationships of other members, the life-style choices those members may make, their rights to property and well-being, and their opinions and perspectives.  Each member will be expected to come to the aid of another member of the community whenever called, to provide support whenever needed, to share hearth and home whenever required.  Those who turn to their fellow community members in time of need will understand that while whatever given to them is given freely, they have an obligation as a matter of honor to do all they can to support the community and their benefactors by any means available to them and to as quickly as possible become self-sustaining once more.

Every member of the community 17 years of age has a voice in guiding that community.  Once each month, the community will gather, break bread together, discuss their concerns as Individuals and as a community, and make decisions for the benefit of the community as a whole.  If an emergency arises requiring the immediate attention of and a decision made by the community, three members may initiate a gathering and vote (when practical).

Every member of the community recognizes and understands that the community exists distinct from the surrounding society, but also as a part of that society.  Its survival in that tenuous state requires that outsiders perceive the community as no different from the surrounding society.  Therefore, every effort must be made by each Individual within the community to handle any issues or conflicts within the confines of the community.  What is done within the community stays within the community.  Outsiders should only be called in under extreme circumstances.  We are able to live differently only as long as we are perceived by outsiders as not being any different than they are.

If a conflict arises within between members of the community, the community encourages that the members in conflict work together to come to a resolution.  If the members cannot resolve the conflict on their own, they may call upon a mutually agreed upon arbiter from the community to come to a resolution for them, agreeing to abide by whatever decision is made.  If the arbiter is not able to come to a resolution, the community as a whole may be asked to vote on the issue, again with the members in conflict agreeing to abide by whatever resolution is reached.  If members of the community in conflict are unable to abide by the decision reached either amongst themselves, with an arbiter, or within the community, they will be excommunicated.


Why Awareness Is Rare In a Perfect Universe

 The expression of Awareness is exceedingly rare in our species, at least developed to the degree that is of any real importance.  The nature of the universe, and everything within it, is perfect.  All things in their current state are perfect, it is only our perception of these things which can be imperfect.  We are in the habit of not seeing things as they are, but rather as we would wish them to be or how we are told they are.  We are programmed to be enamored with the illusion of imperfection; either the misinterpretation of the truth or the purposeful denial of the truth, so much so that most of us will not have the chance to be more than what we are.  We will go on believing we are aware, living lives deceiving ourselves and doing things we disdain, only to end no differently, or perhaps worse, than when we began.  This is as it should be.  Most will not seek to develop themselves in order to become something more.  We are what we are, whether we remain the same or choose to be more.  Perfection exists in either state, whether we are aware of it or not. Our delusion is also perfect.

 Consider pain.  Pain is often a negative experience, in that we tend to prefer to avoid it.  However, pain is necessary in order to keep us aware of that which harms us and to allow us to act in a manner to help prevent irreparable harm.  Pain teaches us how to interact with our environment, and by contrast allows us to truly appreciate that which is pleasurable.  Yet, there are schools which teach that pain is “evil”, or the result of imperfection in the world.  Pain is an aspect of life, one of the many aspects that let you know you are alive.  It may be preferable to avoid pain when possible, but it is no less perfect than any other aspect of our existence.

 It is the nature of this perfect universe for potential to be discovered and expressed.  Fire burns until its fuel is extinguished.  Water seeks its level.  The body grows and changes within the parameters set by its genetics.  We contain within ourselves the ability to inhibit the expression of our potential.  Like pain, this ability is not imperfect or evil, it is merely an aspect of ourselves which is necessary and can benefit us if properly understood.  Awareness cannot be achieved without the effort to find it, thus the ability to be closed to our potential, to even deny our potential, serves as a counterpoint which teaches us about our potential.  The perfect engine of change in our universe is adversity.  Potential only fully manifests when expressed through the birth canal of conflict.  Our species must earn Awareness in order for it to manifest.  Only those tested by the false nature of our perceived existence will appreciate the fruits of greater Awareness.

 We have all encountered men and women who inspire us by their example or have qualities that we see as desirable within ourselves.  They may have great beauty, physical prowess, impressive intelligence, emotional depth, or other traits which suggest something special, if not superior about them.  Some people we encounter have a quality which suggests a greater sense of being, of human potential being expressed in a manner that is uncommon.  Just as encountering superior expressions of various qualities may inspire us to develop these qualities in ourselves, it is contact with such uncommon expressions of potential that is often the impetus of our own exploration of self.  The difference is that while greater beauty, strength, or intelligence are common expressions we may readily observe, the potential for greater Awareness is hidden from the majority because its expression is so rare.

 Unless a person is fortunate enough to encounter an expression of greater Awareness via art, literature, music, or direct contact, the person is unlikely to seek greater Awareness for themselves.  This leads to an interesting tangent; if Awareness cannot be explored in ourselves without first encountering its example, then how did the first person come to seek greater Awareness?  Keep this question in mind, as I will discuss it in a future writing.

 If we are fortunate enough to come into contact with something that suggests greater Awareness, there will only be a few of us that seek it within ourselves.  Only a few of us have that inner fire which hungers for growth and senses the lie being perpetuated by the system we experience each day.  Many who encounter that example will have already been broken by that system.  They will make excuses as to why that potential which is within all of us is denied to them. They will see the development of greater Awareness as unimportant when compared to the demands of the world, when in fact just the opposite is true.  They will see the effort as too difficult, or themselves as too limited to ever accomplish what has been demonstrated by others.  They will see the example of greater Awareness and be stung by it, and turn away.  Only a rare few of us will see it as an inspiration and personal example for our own lives.

 Of those that try, only a rare few will find a path that leads them to greater Awareness.  There are many paths to greater Awareness, but far more paths that lead to dead-ends.  They are dead-ends because the death of the self is where they lead.  Some will make the mistake by misunderstanding what greater Awareness is, and will seek to better themselves by some means tied to this world.  This world, for all its pleasures and distractions, is finite.  How can one achieve something lasting by means rooted in this finite world?  The pursuit of money will bring wealth, comfort, and a plethora of hedonistic pleasures, but there has yet to be born a man who’s wealth served him once his life was ended.  Others will be lead astray by false teachers, some who think they know the way but are misguided by ego or the incorrect teachings of another.  Others will be false intentionally, preying on those who lack the ability to see the truth.  The majority will simply not know where to begin, and end their search before it even starts.

 Of those who find a proper path, many will fail because the way is arduous and fraught with peril.  The pursuit of a true path boarders on obsession.  Such single-mindedness will alienate the seeker from those around him.  Friends and family will raise doubts within him about his efforts and will question his motivations.  He will be ridiculed by his fellows who do not share in his pursuit.  The indulgences of the world will call to him like a siren’s song, urging him to put down his burden, to cease his toil, and to do what is easy.  Many who start down the path will turn away before the goal is reached.  Their hearts will lack the strength to achieve it.

 Of those who find what they seek, many will turn away because what they discover troubles them.  They will discover the truth, and truth is undeniable and unchangeable.  It can be nothing other than truth, regardless of what we wish it to be.  It is what it is.  Of those that find it, they will not accept it.  Their conceptions of self will be destroyed.  The world that they thought they knew will be gone, an alien landscape hostile to their existence.  In the face of truth, most whither away, seeking the world again and willfully going no further.  They will be forever haunted and bitter about that which they experienced but could not accept.

 Those, however, who can see the potential of their own beings, who find a proper path, who pursue that path to its end, who discover truth for themselves, and who can face that truth and embrace it, they will be transformed.  To them will be revealed the real wonder of the world and themselves.  They will see in fullness the perfection of all and within themselves.  Those that know and embrace truth can no longer be imprisoned by the false reality of the world around us.  Their minds will be like gardens where only they can decide what is planted there.  For those rare few, freedom will be a achieved. Tested, challenged, and tempered in the forge of adversity, they will emerge with something lasting within themselves.

 Awareness is a potential born within us all, but rare are those whom are favored with the circumstances within which such potential may be explored, who come into contact with the possibility of greater Awareness early enough in life, and who have the will to pursue its development in fullness.  This is also a perfect aspect of our world.  If greater Awareness was not rare and difficult to attain, it would lose any meaningful purpose, leading to stagnation.  The universe is not trite, it is dynamic.  If we are to fulfill our potential, we must seek to develop an Awareness which is equally dynamic.  The journey may be hard, but the effort provides many rewards.


Subtle

Tsun Tzu said “Know thyself, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories.”,  “All men can see these tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved.”, and “Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness.Thereby you can be the director of the opponent’s fate.”

I have  sworn an oath to a lifelong discipline, of creating a self which has the awareness, foresight, ability, and strength to recognize and overcome seemingly insurmountable odds. Seeking out and utilizing every technique, tool, tradition, weapon, power, and philosophy which lends to producing this result. Just as the magician over time, learns and develops new tricks and perfects the old ones; this Darkhorse is constantly evolving to expand my repertoire. I am certain most would wonder why; why undertake this discipline?  The answer to that lies in the three quotes from The Art of War.

To know thyself is an ages old pilgrimage, undertaken to some extent by all of man. Some journey just far enough to come only to a superficial understanding of themselves. Discovering just enough to feel justified in claiming authority over themselves, and therefore assuming qualification to lead other men to themselves. Never recognizing their transformation into detractors of consciousness. You see consciousness lies, not in knowing some cosmic truth; but in the stride to attain that truth.

“And all cosmic truths become known to everyone on those planets because those beings who by their conscious efforts learn some truth or other share it with others, and in this way, little by little, all cosmic truths become known to all the beings of that planet, whatever may be their aspirations and degree of self-perfecting.” Gurdjieff – Beelzebub’s Tales

Notice Gurdjieff does not mistake ‘truths’ for consciousness in the above quote, nor does he seem greatly concerned with revealing these truths. He plainly says that all cosmic truths become known, regardless of the aim or qualification of the seeker. Seemingly, as if we were to just sit back and wait; all truths will be revealed to us over time. So if we accept this as a truth, the natural question arises; why then did Gurdjieff conceive of The Work?

“For, as I have said and written many times over the decades, our attack on the Old Order, on the mundanes and their societies and their governments, is on many levels, just as our esoteric Order – our association of sinister individuals – exists on many levels, each with a task, a goal, and each attracting, evolving, individuals of a certain type, a certain sinister nature. This is how a living-being is: complex; of various diverse forms ultimately (esoterically) co-operating in certain ways (whether consciously or unconsciously) to enhance, to increase, to reproduce and extend, the life of the living organism to which they belong.

Thus Vindex and our tribes are exoteric signs of our living, of our acausal presence in the causal world of the mundanes, and of a new type of life coming-into-being on this planet we have called Earth.” – Anton Long

Long like Gurdjieff and Tsun Tzu, recognizes that transformation is inevitable; save that which is in the hands of the potter. To shape the pot however, requires you know many things on many levels. You must know your hands, you must know the clay, and you must know the wheel. If you don’t know the fire, you’re left with a weak pot. Should your mind be without a clear image, you cannot draw its shape. So for this it must be practiced, worked at; grown.

I wanted to put these thoughts down, as  a primer for a future post. If you have thoughts, I’d like to hear them. “A thousand battles, a thousand victories”, so subtle is it not? The Puritan Mandate needs purged, should you aim to rise above. Diligent and deliberate, two of the hallmarks of The Insidious Way.

No one recognizes the Darkhorse!


Get Real

The following was posted in a forum that I occasionally frequent. The focus of this forum is the development and support of an ideological and philosophical perspective that is related to both Gurdjieff’s Work and at least the symbolism often associated with the “Left-Hand Path”. While what was written was meant to express frustration with this organization’s leadership and activity (or, more pointedly, the lack thereof), it is a commonality of many Internet-based expressions of religion.

I have scrubbed the text of anything related to or that might identify the organization being addressed /with my own text being inserted in-between slash-marks/. This statement has a much wider application than just one organization.

Dearest (Would-be Philosophical/Theological Leaders, Teachers, and “Masters”),

This is precisely what I’ve been wondering about, or worrying about, etc. I’m afraid that exhortation rubbed me the wrong way, and brought to the surface a number of issues lurking in my psyche. To some it may seem like a reminder of little significance, but to me it was one example of a larger trend, indicating an over-arching failure of approach. /The writer was responding to an email request for more participation in the organization’s on-line forum/.

People are looking for the experience of religion. A web forum is not a religion. We don’t have the personal touch. My vision of 4th Way initiation is quite similar to the life coaching thing which you offer as a paid service, separate from the religion. Sorry to spurn a potential source of income, but you seem to be doing okay (considering how everyone else is doing). Maybe you should consider making it part of your ministry as /a/ leader. To take a hands-off approach to initiating someone into Awakening is to not initiate them.

You can lead a horse to the water, but you can’t make it drink…but then again, the personal touch of actually walking to the water alongside the horse is a lot more evocative than just telling it that there’s water over there some ways.

This would be the core of my issue, the rest merely being an unfolding therefrom:
Malcolm Gladwell (speaking politically) said that social media can create big flashes of protest, but what creates a sustained movement are in-person groups and relationships which meet on a regular basis (or in some rare cases live together). An online group can succeed, but only if it is centered around a network of in-person clusters. At the very least, one-on-one attention by phone can be a weak but somewhat effective substitute for in-person interaction.

If I were you, I would forgo most of your attention to the Internet and divert focus to building up an in-person group in your area. Lead by example. The problem is, if anyone succeeds in establishing a grotto or /other real-world group/, our local folk will see us as more authoritative than you, because we’re actually getting our hands dirty making an in-person group happen. People will ask, oh, so you have this faraway leader. Does he have a grotto, how big is it? And we’ll have to say…eh, there isn’t one. And they will see it as a joke, and I will wonder if they are wrong.

Joiners will look at the situation like this: given that the religion is a webforum and not a network of in-person clusters, their unofficial-but-in-practice religion is actually not the webforum which you oversee. The actual religion which they consider themselves part of is their own grotto, and will regard its leader as their actual leader, having very little to do with you or your sites.

If you have thousands of registered members, but only a dozen people posting, maybe that should make you consider what a member really is, or what your expectations and focus should be. Sure, the socialist group I’m in will get thousands of people to put their name on something. But we only count the people who show up, pay dues, and take part in the work of our routines as members. We only focus our efforts to further integrate people on members and people who aren’t yet members but are participating in some of the way that members do.

This method has worked brilliantly in creating a lasting, growing organization, where we know who our members are, rather than merely hoping that everyone who jots a name down actually means something. Consider it a political form of building a magnetic center, as opposed to concerning ourselves with every passing, impulsive “I.”

In the absence of in-person proximity, phone calls are good. They eliminate the impersonality of text and create a one-on-one focus, rather than the blanket of mass communication which, in attempting to focus on everyone, focuses on no one. Hitler was right on one point — spoken communication for the win. There may be text-only visionaries, but no text-only messiahs. But not just spoken word — *targeted, personal* spoken word.

I myself am going to seek to apply the ideas offline more, I’m going to have to post less in order to live it. It’s just an issue of limited free time. Perhaps there are other people like me out there, non-posters who are living the path very well. But you have no way of knowing it without some regular system of staying in touch, and analyzing and encouraging each others’ Awakening.

Not only do *you* not know what the real shape of the /organization/ is, but */the members/* know even less than you, making a lull in forum activity appear to be a collapse of the religion! (And would such a perception even be wrong?) In the absence of a real organized, mutually-assisted initiation, spinning my wheels writing more essays seems futile. We have all the mental material we need; we need to give it a corporeal body.

You mentioned that Occupy Wall Street is going on. True, but why would people want to discuss that on the /organization/ forums? In their eyes we have virtually nothing to do with that world, we have no effect on it at all. Without any kind of structure, it is impossible for the (organization) to be relevant to major events, or to even fulfill its core religious purposes.

Overall, though, if you claim to be the consciousness of the /organization/ machine/organism, the core it needs to avoid running aground, the person you should be asking about the lack of activity is not us, but yourself. Scolding the membership is not leadership, it is helpless flailing, and a projection of your own lack of a practical plan onto your followers. It’s not taking orders that I object to, it’s this futile wheel-spinning of thinking that the Internet is going to solve the problem of building a group. It won’t.

I like some of the philosophies, and had hope in the beginning that these organizational problems would be taken care of with time. I have seen zero progress on that front, but from what I can tell, there has been no progress on that front in eight years besides /a prominent member’s/ grotto. I pushed for the council-centered chain of initiation. For a while I was maintaining it on my own end, but there was no point of continuing with it if the (organization) leader himself was not maintaining or even remembering it, since the group won’t stick with it if you don’t.

Until you make the sacrifices necessary to establish an in-person following, you lack the moral authority to ask such from anyone else. The way I see it, you either have to commit to that goal and succeed reasonably soon, or hand off supreme leadership to someone else for the good of the /organization/ so that it ceases to stagnate. That is not a joke. You may say, “That makes no sense, I came up with this, I lead it.” It’s an interesting consideration — would you rather see the philosophy you invented remain tiny under yourself, or expand under someone else?

Wistful and well-wishing,
a recently-restored-to-the-Dark-Side /member/

The two points I take away from this statement are simple.

1) The Internet, for all its power and wonder, is ultimately a tool used for gathering and sharing information. For the growth of the self, nothing beats human-to-human interaction. A religious movement’s Internet presence should be a means to support and highlight its real-world efforts, not the primary focus of the organization.

2) You cannot wait on a leader to come take you by the hand. Ultimately, if you want to see something happen, you have to at least start by doing it yourself. You will become the leader you seek if others see your example and emulate it, or you will be better prepared when you discover a leader worth emulating, and will hold that leader to a higher standard.


It’s About Time

Dad gave me this. Fifth birthday. He said, “Childhood’s over the moment you know you’re gonna die.” ~ Michael Wincott as “Top Dollar” from The Crow

We have been considering and concerning ourselves with awareness. The concept of awareness is simple; we each have a choice. We can either choose to be aware and active in our experiences, or we can be unaware and ruled by happenstance. Much of the oppression we feel is directly proportional to the amount of effort we make to be active in our experiences, to be more aware. Freedom, or being more free relative to as we are now, is the desired end-result of cultivating greater awareness.

Our pursuit of awareness, of choosing to not allow ourselves to be dictated by happenstance, has lead us in numerous directions, all very important and required. We have explored practical matters; the laws and values of society, our roles in the workforce and the economy, how we acquire those things which are substantive needs… We have explored matters of importance to and from the perspectives of the esoteric and exoteric; our relationship with others, our responsibility to ourselves, our society, our species, frivolity… We have pursued issues of a spiritual, or mystical nature; the meanings of words like “awareness” and “freedom”, personal evolution, weighing our relative connectivity and distinctiveness from all that surrounds us…

In this pursuit of awareness, I am wondering if perhaps all these divergent potential directions are rooted in one commonality: Time. I wonder if an exploration of the concept of Time may be an exploration of the foundation of all other efforts.

We are born, and from the day of our birth, the clock is ticking. If an individual lives out to the fullness of their lifespan, they have roughly 70 years of time. All spiritual arguments aside, based on what we can observe it is safe to assume that those years will be all that one ever has. When we consider what the mind of the individual is capable of, what wonders it has the potential to explore and questions it can conceive, 70 years seems like a paltry amount of time, like a cosmic joke on the sentient being. Your biological function; to reproduce and make your genetic mark of future generations requires neither sentience (as made evident by the thousands of people who reproduce in droves) nor the fullness of the potential lifespan. With this reality before us, our sentience seeks a purpose beyond our biological function to our species.

We’re not here because we’re free. We’re here because we’re not free. There is no escaping reason; no denying purpose. Because as we both know, without purpose, we would not exist. It is purpose that created us. Purpose that connects us. Purpose that pulls us. That guides us. That drives us. It is purpose that defines. Purpose that binds us. ~ Hugo Weaving as “Agent Smith” from The Matrix Reloaded

The issue of purpose is a question of whether or not purpose is predetermined by happenstance or “fate”, or if self-determination is possible. Three kinds of people seem to emerge in relation to this question. There are those for whom the question has no meaning. They are completely ruled by happenstance, guided solely by internal impulses and external influences. Awareness as we understand it is not present within them. Others have awareness, but have concluded that the thread of their life has already been measured, that they are fated, to one degree or another, to whatever end or whatever events may come their way.

Then, there are those of us who rebel against that idea, who seek to be free of happenstance and to be self-determined. “Fate” for us may exist, and it is something we can succumb to, but we have concluded that it can be resisted, or that “fate” is for those who lack the will to escape the gravity of happenstance. Awareness is our lever, the manner by which we seek to determine our “fate” for ourselves.

The issue facing us in this pursuit is time. We only have so much time to achieve our ultimate goals. In the short amount of time that we have, we must first develop to a point of physical and mental maturity where we can recognize the discrepancy between our potential awareness and our actual active awareness. The first mark of maturity of awareness is the comprehension of the fact that eventually we will die. This is, in my opinion, the end of our mental childhood and the beginning of our mental adolescence. Awareness that we have only a limited amount of time is often within us only cursory; we know it, but we do not understand it and therefore do not act accordingly. If we were aware of our limited amount of time and understood it, much of the frivolity and wasted effort that dominates our lives would cease.

We would have no time to waste.

Full mental maturity comes when we not only are aware that our time is limited, but also when we embrace that fact and begin living our lives accordingly. Those who believe that their lives are predetermined to a greater degree than what is self-determined embrace their limited amount of time with a marked serenity, a peaceful acceptance that I can only equate to sheep being herded for slaughter. Their arguments for this perspective may be sound, even convincing, but they are arguments that I cannot abide. When I look at history, when I look to the greatest examples of our potential as humans being expressed (those individuals who’s efforts and ideas shaped the course for our species), repeatedly I see examples of self-determination, people who did not go gently into the night but raged against the dwindling light of their short lives.

Time is neither our enemy nor our friend. If we are aware of it, the limited quantity of time we have, and that ultimately we do not know when our limit will be reached, then it is simply a motivator. Time is the reason to take action, to be decisive, to cultivate awareness and to seek self-determination. We cannot be certain of anything other than that our time is limited. Even those who conclude that there is the potential for some other manner of existence beyond this life cannot deny that this life is limited, and that our time in it must be of some importance, if only to ourselves. All time is now. Each moment is a precious stone which we can either use in building our monuments to ourselves in history, or which will be pulverized into dust.

Sometimes I do what I want to do. The rest of the time I do what I have to. ~Tommy Flanagan as “Cicero” from Gladiator

Time is the commodity which we all have that we trade for the things we want. Do you want a new car? You have to trade time for the money to pay for it (or time used to steal it, something I would not recommend but include for the sake of being thorough). Want to have sex with someone else? You need to take time to convince a partner (or to engage in an even more criminal activity than car-theft). All pursuits, all acquisitions, all goals require time. Our lives equal a quickly shrinking means of exchange for experiences, pleasures, and material goods. We all may have time, but due to its limited quantity and extreme importance for each of us, it is the most precious commodity we will ever have.

Time, like other commodities, has a variety of different values. We all talk about “quality time” and define that kind of time in different manners based on our drives and interests. I would suggest a scale that includes a transition through five distinct types of time.

Dross Time

Dross is waste metal, impurities purged during the smelting process. Dross Time is time that is wasted. A person may waste time in an ever increasing number of ways, but this particular kind of waste is due to a person not having the means to act on the time that they have. Their inability to use their time is due to pressures which are either internal or external in origin. The internal pressure which creates Dross Time are those feelings of helplessness, when it seems we have nothing but time but no means with which to use it. We may recognize a need, yet we cannot fulfill it. Internal pressures are usually due to a limited perspective, an artificial set of parameters we believe dictate our options. “We have no money, therefore there is nothing we can do” is an example of the kind of thinking which contributes to the internal creation of Dross Time.

The external pressures resulting in Dross Time often are due to having the means to use the time, but being kept in some fashion from doing so. A literal incarceration is the best example that comes to my mind of this kind of Dross Time; you could do anything, but you are limited to your particular cell. This literal interpretation is frequently and figuratively experienced by nearly everyone in our society. The limitations and walls placed around us that guide and define our behaviors encourage a feeling of oppression. We end up in a prison of the mind where apathy and complacency are encouraged. Our time is wasted as we are encourage to conclude that nothing we could do would matter.

The only value of Dross Time is to serve as a reason to cultivate better qualities of time.

Copper Time

Copper Time is better than Dross Time because it is time that is ours to spend, but it has little inherent value because it is spent frivolously with no particular direction. Copper Time is the kind of time we have been convinced in our society is “quality time”, time when we feel we have no demands or obligations, time spent doing nothing of value for ourselves or others. We are a society where mediocrity is the highest pursuit for the majority; where we want nothing more than to sit on our couches eating fast food and watching American Idol, as if time was limitless. The demands upon us, external and internal, and the obligations we have are not suspended, but during this time we struggle to pretend that they are. Still, we are encouraged by social conventions to resist having a direction or use for our time. The “norm” is to spend our time pursuing meaningless frivolities. Copper Time is unfortunately often “purchased” with a higher-quality time, Iron Time. The majority of us tend to trade that which has value for something that has less or no value at all.

Iron Time

Iron Time is time spent acquiring the things we need. “Need” here is being used in the “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need” sense of foundational needs: sustenance, shelter, and so on. The way we acquire these things that we need are either external, by performing a function for another, or internal, by producing something of ourselves that is of value to others. Without regard to other nuances in method, the internal Iron Time is of a better grade than the external. Those who produce Iron Time through service to others tend to take on the mentality of slaves, “buying” with their Iron Time the Copper Time with which they temporarily and artificially part from their masters and try to enjoy a moments respite as “free men”. Those who produce their Iron Time internally tend to invest it in time that is of a higher quality, seeking to improve themselves and reduce their reliance on Iron Time to secure their needs.

Silver Time

Silver Time is a grade of time spent in intentional action, not simply sustaining the self, but improving the self in order to reduce the amount of time required acquiring those things which sustain us. Silver Time is “bought” with Iron Time, time spent laboring, either for the self or for others. Silver Time is time spent increasing our skills, developing better processes, or shifting from Iron Time as labor for another to Iron Time producing things valued by others from our own resources. The more Silver Time we tend to produce, the less Iron Time is necessary. Silver Time is the beginning of self-determination.

Gold Time

Gold Time is time spent improving ourselves, like Silver Time, and is often purchased with Silver Time. The difference is that Gold Time is completely self-determined and is time spent improving ourselves as a being, not improving our functions as a gatherer of sustenance. Gold Time is the time invested in developing what Gurdjieff refers to as “the soul”, or what I would suggest is the monument we will leave in history in the minds of others about our deeds and our life. Both are concepts which carry the idea of self forward in time beyond our lifespans. Gold Time has aspects of all the other times except dross. Like Copper, it is time spent without external demands; like Iron it involves labor; like Silver, the time is spent improving ourselves. The results of Gold Time have the potential to evolve us and also evolve our species based upon the innovations we develop and our example. Whereas Silver Time improves that which exists already, Gold Time develops innovations and new functions of the self.

Every man dies, not every man really lives. ~ Mel Gibson as “William Wallace” from Braveheart

Time, from this perspective, is something which can be cultivated and bartered, not just for those things we need, but to actually improve ourselves and the quality of time we have. Being aware of our time and how we are investing it, each moment, we begin to “buy” our freedom and become more self-determined. To do so requires a commitment to ourselves to struggle to be more aware. Awareness of time can lead to few other conclusions than that its nature is precious, and that it should not be squandered lightly.

Life is for the living. Responsibility to the responsible. These are two concepts drawn from Satanism which address awareness and, in particular, the use of time. Life is for living, for the experience, because it is brutally short. Its brevity is what should inspire each of us to live it heroically and defiantly, seeking to become immortal through our actions despite the mortality inherent in our existence. Freedom is a life lived without fear of death, but with full awareness of its inevitability. Responsibility for our lives is ours to take or to ignore. We suffer either at our own peril. With freedom comes risks. Do we face life by taking command of our time and living it intentionally, or do we succumb to happenstance and squander the moments we have?

Choice. The problem is choice. ~ Keanu Reeves as “Neo” from The Matrix Reloaded


The Choice of Awareness

The following is borrowed from Beginning to Understand, a blog by Apsara Kamalli.

Our lives are constantly in motion. This energy creates the constant changes that make up our existence. Every day, I hear questions thrown out at random like “Why is this happening to me,” and “What did I do to deserve this?” As much as some people may not want to take responsibility for their actions, the answer to both questions is “Because of the choices you’ve made.” While the questions are thrown out at random, the constant energy creating the results we deal with is not random. It is not haphazard or cast down upon you. You have created it, and it is a product of your creation.

Every choice made in every given moment creates the reality around you.

Our lives are constantly in motion. In the duration of a split nanosecond, our lives can change immensely. The energy of constant change moves more rapidly than we can consciously understand. Most of the choices we make on a daily basis are done so in a state of reaction, instantaneous and without much thought. Each of these quick, small responses carries the capability of suddenly impacting the world around us. Sometimes these transitions are invisible to the untrained eye. Sometimes, these transitions impact not only you, but all within your sphere of influence. Either way, at your core, at your soul, and with awareness, you can feel your vibration transforming. Now is the time to take control over this possibility. Now is the time to recognize the power of the vibrational shift and play a deliberate role in directing the energetic motion of our daily lives.

Every choice, every action, every formulation, or lack thereof, of intention will shift your vibrational existence.

Our lives are constantly in motion. Every moment in time is filled with infinite opportunities to manifest your will, whether you are consciously aware of it or not. Every moment comes with the choice of awareness. Choosing to not be aware of this key element is choosing to feel lost, out of control, helpless, or maybe even falsely that you are guided by a higher being. Your awareness of the consequences of your thoughts and actions provide you with the power to define your liberation. The choices you make represent your own personal power. How often you choose to be aware of your personal power will determine the amount of instances you find yourself asking, “Why is this happening to me?”


A Sly Man’s Exit Strategy: Stage One of Five

G.I. Gurdjieff used a number of profound analogies when describing both the common experience of man and a man’s potential, often drawn from Sufism and Taoism he learned during his travels. His focus was on personal evolution; what a person could do to potentially improve his living experience and be relatively more “free” (a concept that he also points out is not really understood and must be explored). One of the analogies he used compared the common experience of most people to being in a prison. The prison limits our possibilities and defines our behaviors. Though it is a system that protects us and shelters us, it does so through limitations and restrictions at the cost of our individuality, and in my opinion our very humanity. The system is useful until its restrictions on behavior and our modes of thought become so great that self-determination is lost in exchange for security. This prison is the system which I often refer to in other forums and struggle against. It is the system of laws, regulations, traditions, values, and social pressures that artificially define our lives.

Like a prison, if you make an overt or direct effort to escape, this system will respond quickly, decisively, and often painfully to put you back in your pre-defined place. We are each a product of that prison/system, and as such our behaviors in a normal state are pre-defined. We are taught what is expected of us, to value “acceptance” and “normality”. Even our methods of rebellion and resistance are predictable, and manageable when based upon that system. If we realize we are in a prison, and we see an “open door”, the system recognizes and even expects that we will try to use that door. This system will have either safeguards in place to keep us from using the “door” or will have already defined what is beyond that “door”, leaving it open for a certain percentage of the population to use for the benefit of the system. Direct effort against the prison, direct opposition, has the greatest amount of risk with potentially the lowest likelihood of success, because it is what is expected and what the system has been most strongly designed to prevent.

Another analogy used by Gurdjieff is the Sly Man. The Sly Man analogy refers to the man who studies the three primary philosophical/metaphysical processes; that of the intellectual (the guru), that of the physical (the fakir), and that of the emotional (the monk), and uses only what is necessary from each of those processes to achieve his goal. It is considered “sly” because while the process may still take a great deal of time, it combines the essential an effective parts of the other three systems while ignoring the unessential, making the process potentially more effective. A Sly Man develops the talent to see what is necessary and to either de-prioritize or disregard that which is unnecessary.

This analogy of a person who studies a system to find what is essential to achieving his goals, being the Sly Man, is one that I would extend to any system, including our “prison”. The Sly Man recognizes that rushing the walls will more often fail and potentially result in being in a worse predicament than we find ourselves already in. This is a concept expressed in Discordianism; with Order and Chaos being opposing forces, when one force acts against the other, the other force responds with an opposite reaction at least equal to, and often greater than, the original action (causing an escalation of force against force). Understanding this, the Sly Man seeks a way to use the system against itself in order to “slip” free of it, or to oppose the system in a manner that directs the response of the system in a manner beneficial to the Sly Man. Going back to our prison analogy, this would mean knowing the routines of the guards, which work details offer the most opportunity for escape, where the tools are kept and when they would be missed, where the walls are weakest, etc. To escape the system, one must have a certain level of expertise on using that system. This requires a great deal of study.

Just because happenstance resulted in our being born into this system does not mean that as adults we have to accept it. I believe that an indication of maturity as a human being is recognition of this fact and making the move toward self-determination vs. accepting pre-determination.

Gurdjieff’s prison analogy goes further, stating that the likelihood of escape increases when you work with co-conspirators, people working toward the same end and from often different directions. However, this coordination of effort cannot and will not include everyone in the prison… the mass exodus of everyone from the system would be the kind of overt action that results in a drastic response by the system. No, in order to escape, you have to be aware that you are not free, you have to prefer the risk of existing without the prison/system compared to the security afforded by it, you have to be willing to make the effort to escape (even if on your own), and you have to be willing to take the time required to make your escape possible.

Those who do not meet those requirements will only inhibit your own efforts. Most people are content with their positions, or if they are discontent lack the ambition to take action. Indeed, many people are so engaged on that system, so dependent upon it, that they will act on the system’s behalf to erode or oppose your efforts. The system is primarily a prison for the mind, using a person identity to re-enforce its mental bars. When you or I challenge that system, we are challenging the “sense of self” that many have come to depend upon. Those who choose to remain asleep, or remain oblivious to what is happening around them, will pursue and meet their end. There is nothing that can be done for them until they begin to do for themselves.

I half-heartedly proposed the idea of abandoning the system as a form of mass protest in response to a video calling for coordinated effort with no real direction (suggesting as an alternative to demonstrating our numbers and asking for recognition in the system it would be better to abandon that system). One comment I received latched onto this idea of “making a break for it”, but the person who made the comment also indicated that they would join me when I made the push. It is my feeling that none of us can afford to wait on another to lead the charge. Rather, if we have any hope of “escape”, we must already be engaged in our own efforts. My proposal in my video-response suggested a coordination date of 12/21/2012 because this was the date selected for mass protest by the person I was responding to. It is my feeling that you should not wait on a special day to begin making your effort to escape. If you haven’t started already, you should start now. I know this sounds alarmist, but by the time it becomes obvious that you should do something, it will probably be to late.

I am implementing my own Exit Strategy. This post is a description of the first stage of my strategy, already being implemented. This is not a call-to-action. This is not a direction of leadership. If you need either of those things to act, then there is little I think that can be done for you (or, rather, everything will need to be done for you by someone else which is anathema to this ideology). My Exit Strategy involves a carefully orchestrated disengagement from the system, slowly but methodically cutting the ties that bind. This is what I am doing because I have reached the intellectual conclusion and the intuitive feeling that this is the correct direction for me. If you implement your own Exit Strategy, it will not doubt be different than mine.

A major focus in this first stage deals with economics and finances. The system in my culture expresses itself as a quasi-capitalist manifestation, encouraging those within it to chase after the dollar and material possessions for a sense of security and identity. I feel that this energy is something I need to re-direct based on values that I define, seeking not recognition for what I have but instead greater freedom for the need for finances in the traditional manner. The goal here is not wealth in the traditional sense, as wealth by the terms of the system simply means a successful existence within a gilded-cage. Instead, I mean wealth as defined by a fulfilling and pleasurable life of personal growth and satisfaction. Messiah Bey, a fellow writer and philosopher, suggests a goal of true financial independence. Not becoming successfully enslaved by the need for money, but rather freedom from that need through self-sufficiency.

My first step is to begin to limit the impact of the financial demands of that system upon my own resources. Our system requires the fulfillment of our minimum needs within a particular set of parameters in order to be considered acceptable. For example, shelter is a “real” need. The system defines acceptable shelter as housing meeting certain structural codes. I have children, and I want my choices to impact my children as little as possible while also providing them a positive example and keeping the State from taking my children from me. To that end, my shelter is a minimal as possible while meeting those demands. The maintenance of that home; electrical use, water, garbage disposal, all involve steps to minimize the impact on my resources. This has required a shift in my values from convenience and the sense of affluence to independence and efficiency. Other system-required expenditures; food, gas, insurance, etc, are all reduced or (if practical) eliminated.

I pay as little as possible to keep the state out of my affairs by maintaining the minimal standards required. I render unto Caesar only what is Caesar’s, and nothing more.

I am incrementally divesting myself of the majority of my material possessions. The system encourages us to amass “stuff”, baubles and brick-a-brack as symbols to represent some artificial identity. “The things you own end up owning you” (Tyler Durden). I am reducing the possessions I have down to the essentials I need to tattoo, create art, and care for my family. I am using auction sites like eBay to sell these items and collectibles to the highest bidder, often getting a profit on my original investment. Liquidating these things used to prop-up my system-supported sense of self increases the amount of resources I have to direct as a lever to further disengage myself from the system. I am shedding the things I have been taught should be important to me to define my own sense of importance.

My expenditures are either for things I need, for things to act as a buffer between myself and dependence on the system, and for experiences. My needs, as defined above, are tattooing, creating art, and caring for my family (both essentials like food and clothing and non-essentials). When fulfilling those needs, I ignore the systems pressure to expend my resources on brand names, the latest versions, or new items whenever possible. I shop for used or discounted items. I also recycle (in the literal sense) as much of the materials I do use as I can.

All of this results in increased financial clout, whether generating an income, reducing my expenditures, or simply not spending money when I and where I would have in the past. The intent, again, is not to increase my system-defined “wealth”, but rather to reduce my dependence on system-based finances altogether. These changes in my habits and values creates a buffer between myself and the financial pressures of the system; either padding my resources with unspent funds or reducing the impact on my lifestyle due to the failure of that system to continue to provide for my “needs”. The resources previously used to feed the system and its hold on me through my personal identity are re-directed as a lever to create separation between the system and myself.

What expenditures I do make are less for things and more for experiences. Life is for living, and is woefully short. I prefer to indulge in it, to do and see things that normally would not be afforded to me. I make as much use of the system’s means of expediting these expenditures, or I seek out experiences that are outside that systems purview. The point is to live more freely and fully. I seek those experiences that satisfy this desire, and support those endeavors that remind me that I am a free, self-determining being. I strive to give my children less things, and more memories.

I am also engaged in a variety of income streams; tattooing, selling my artwork and merchandise, writing and selling books, etc. While this may seem opposed to the idea of separation from the system (as I am engaging the established economic system), I am establishing means of acquiring resources, with the common transitional medium being the near-valueless green-back. I am converting things that I can do that others cannot do into things I need and cannot produce myself. If I were working for another, I would begin thinking about ways to augment my income through my own efforts while diverting as much of those slave-wages toward the acquisition of things I need (vs. things I want). I would try to shift my perspective from working for another to simply survive toward working for myself with the intent of being free of the need of as salary.

In seeking additional income streams, I would recommend considering all alternatives, even those that include some social stigmas. In the pursuit of our goals, we cannot cater to the value-structures that the system has established within us. I had a friend, John, who was at one time destitute. He had lost his job, had no savings, and possessed nothing of value. He was struggling to find work, and at the time did not qualify for unemployment. While he searched for work, he found other ways to support himself. He sold blood-plasma at a local plasma center. He volunteered for paid medical-studies, He modeled for art classes at the local college (unfortunately, in some of the classes I was taking). He collected and recycled aluminum cans. Through these many efforts, he was able to sustain himself. He wasn’t proud of these activities, but that kind of pride is a value engendered by the system.

If our focus is survival and freedom, our thinking must be “by any means necessary”.

The next aspect of my Exit Strategy involves developing additional skill-sets that could prove advantageous should I find myself in a situation where the system is not available to be relied upon. Primary in my mind are skills dealing with the environment and survival; how to hunt and gather food, what in the wild is edible, how to create shelters and fortifications, etc. I also am learning or refreshing my knowledge in skill-sets that were common to my grandfathers and great-grandfathers; engine repair, farming, brewing beer, making butter, making bread, sewing, carpentry, basic plumbing, basic electrical work, etc.

These skill-sets not only help prepare me for a system-less existence, but also can be applied now to make myself less dependent on the system. The less reliant I am on the system for my needs, the less, control the system has over me and the more resources I have to allocate as I see fit rather than based on system-initiated pressures. This means spending time studying, testing, and implementing many of the things I am learning. This also means spending less time engaged in the frivolity that the system offers as “entertainment” to placate the masses. Boredom is a tool used by the system to drive us toward the meaningless distractions it offers as a means of validation. I don’t want to simply have something to do. I want to do something.

Key among those skill sets is self-defense. This means a little more than practicing a martial art… as a former soldier, in my opinion it means cultivating a martial attitude. I am learning and practicing a martial art; this has a two-fold benefit. Obviously, this aids in my self-defense, making more capable of preventing harm to myself and my family. This also improves my over-all health and fitness, making me less prone to injury and disease and less likely to need the system’s health care.

I am learning and practicing unconventional defense strategies. I am re-learning to set traps, create devices for my defense, use concealment and camouflage, and other techniques taught to me while in the military. These strategies and techniques apply to both the real world and methods that apply to the digital realm.

I am also acquiring, learning to use, and learning to maintain, a variety of weapons. Most of these weapons are duel-purpose; self-defense and for hunting. This allows me to develop a sufficient stock for my needs while avoiding having to register those weapons with the system.

Practice is key in all of these processes. It is not enough to simply know or have on hand these self-defense elements. They have to be ready to use.

One of my concerns is greater restrictions implemented by the system due either to civil unrest (an economic collapse that places the 51% of the US population which is dependent upon the system directly without the social welfare to pacify them) or a natural disaster (with the potential effects of a major solar-storm on our electronic and digital systems resulting in civil unrest). My fears are of my neighbors when the chains of civility are no longer present and the system when they step in to establish order. A more likely scenario is the slow, inevitable collapse of Western Civilization, with ever greater limits on individual liberty. While much more insidious, this third scenario at least offers some time to prepare.

To that end, I am working to prepare for what could be a very long “camping-trip”. I am in the market for a late-model conversion van, something along the lines of a 1970’s VW autobus-camper. I am investing on hunting and fishing gear, camping equipment, and food for long-term storage. I am studying how to store water and food, and what is edible right outside my door. I am reviewing SAS Survival Guides. I am getting into the habit of practicing what I am learning, and looking forward to frequently “getting away from it all” with the family. We are building up a sizable store of food and water for long-term storage.

I am re-evaluating my values. I have mentioned a couple of examples above; becoming less invested in material possessions, becoming more self-sufficient, creating and expanding a buffer between myself and the system, etc. I am looking at all of my value-structures, determining which of these values are for my benefit, and which support my dependence on the system. Something as basic as the food I eat is defined by my society and culture; defining what is an acceptable option and what is not. These limitations shackle us to the system’s authorized sources for the food-items that are considered acceptable. Many of our values, such as the concepts of family and community, have either been perverted to make us feel more isolated or to make us feel that we have responsibilities that we did not choose to have. A re-evaluation of these particular value structures is a key component to the second stage of my strategy. For this stage, my focus is primarily on how I perceive these values and recognizing how they may be artificially inducing some of my behaviors and choices.

Finally, I am engaging in political discourse, but in a manner that requires minimal participation in the systems established channels for that discourse. What I am seeing is movement toward failure in our system. Even though this movement is in a negative direction, it is momentum that can be re-directed and used. My political efforts serve three purposes, often in combination. They strive to change our social values into a form more aligned with my own interests. For me, this means increased personal liberties and responsibilities; legalize marijuana, legalizing prostitution, and stricter controls on welfare allotment are my top three points of focus. Whether I succeed or fail with these aims, the discussion generates awareness of the skewed values and oppressive nature of the system.

That is the second purpose, to call attention to the system’s corruption and to get people to discuss and implement alternatives. Self-responsibility involves the recognition that even the most thorough preparations and efforts by an individual will not withstand a numerically superior force and is always threatened by failure. By calling attention to the system’s eminent collapse and the need to make changes now, I hope to increase the pool of people to engage with in trade and mutual support.

The final purpose is the erosion of the system. By implementing value-shifts, encouraging non-participation, and shedding light on system corruption, the hold that the system has upon us is weakened, and may be eventually broken. The primary means for this is discourse, sharing information, discussing what I am doing, and learning from others as they implement their own exit strategies.

To summarize:

-I recognize that the system is bound to fail, either due to a sudden and adverse internal shift or outside force, or due to its own bloated growth and corruption.

-I recognize that I have a choice; either to be invested and beholden to that system or to disengage from it.

-I recognize that the process must be through subtle but consistent and willful effort.

-I am disengaging myself of economic entanglements; retaining and stock-piling my resources, divesting myself of frivolous material possessions, and seeking means for creating my own resource streams instead of indulging in servitude.

-I am developing additional skill sets which include practical knowledge of basic mechanical systems, survival skills, and self-defense strategies.

-I am preparing for an emergency situation and long-term self-sufficiency.

-I am re-evaluating my value-structure, seeking greater self-determination.

-I am engaged in political discourse and the exchange of ideas with individuals who share a common interest.

I discussed recently with a friend who questioned whether all this preparation is rational. Her argument hinged on the idea that the system collapse I think is coming may not come, and that all the energy and effort I am investing may be wasted. One of the things I am doing is storing water. While my preparations are with the idea that the worst is going to happen, possibly sooner than I would like, these preparations also make me better prepared for short-term issues. Recently, there was a water-main break in my neighborhood, and we spent the bulk of the day without running water from our taps. Having the water in storage meant that I would still be able to flush my toilets, boil water for food, clean myself and even my dishes, etc. Texas, the state I reside in, is in the grip of a major drought, one that may last for years. Each summer, cities in my area have established ever stricter water conservation ordinances. Whether it is a minor inconvenience or a major system failure, I would prefer to be prepared.

These are my “Stage One” efforts. I am interesting in learning from others about their own practices and techniques… what they see happening and the steps they are taking to deal with it. I would like to discuss with others their own plans. I have been intentionally vague on many points simply due to a sense of self-preservation and this being a public forum. Further disucussion will illicit more concrete ideas. This discussion will, I hope, be mutually beneficial, and lay the groundwork for the next stage of my Exit Strategy.


The Mark Of An Adept

Greetings! Throughout the maze of magic and mystical thought, avid readers of these schools often fantasize about possessing superhuman powers and the like, but the “work” of an Adept takes a much different course. Although a controversial grimoire, the Simon Necronomicon approaches this topic with a drop of wisdom. In its introductory pages we read:

“Man’s power to alter the nature of his environment must develop simultaneously with his ability to master his inner environment, his own mind his psyche, soul, spirit. “

The development of our inner nature is often referred to in so-called sacred books as a “resurrection” of sorts. However, this resurrection is symbolic of the solidification of the inner self, sometimes called the astral body. The exercises revealed in the work ensure that the candidate focuses on primarily having an “inner body experience” before focusing on the ability to transfer consciousness in other areas of space. We cannot function on any astral level until we become aware of the astral body working within the physical shell. This is awareness. In ancient times, the process of self-awareness and how the astral works in the physical body, is often described as a “resurrection.” Notice what is mentioned by H.P. Blavatsky in the Secret Doctrine:

“Elijah is also taken up into Heaven alive; and the astrologer, at the court of Isdubar, the Chaldean Hea-bani, is likewise raised to heaven by the god Hea, who was his patron, as Jehovah was of Elijah (whose name means in Hebrew “God-Jah,” Jehovah, ), and again of Elihu, which has the same meaning. This kind of easy death, or euthanasia, has an esoteric meaning. It symbolises the death of any adept who has reached the power and degree, as also the purification, which enable him to die only in the physical body and still live and lead a conscious life in his astral body.”

Gurdjieff’s basic teaching is that human life is lived in waking sleep; transcendence of the sleeping state requires a specific inner work, which is practiced in private quiet conditions, and in the midst of life with others. This leads to otherwise inaccessible levels of vitality and awareness. This is where we learn that the realm we exist in is the astral realm, but our awareness only allows us to perceive things according to the messages we gather from the five senses. If we confine reality to only those things perceptible to the five senses, then we must regard all our thoughts and feelings as unreal. Awakening requires being aware of our inner changes, or astral changes. Through continued effort, we can gradually bring to life what was once dead within us, but the first step in this process is to realize that we already exist in the astral world.

While the novice seeks to discover how to unlock some “miraculous” power, the Initiate upon the proper path understands that real miracles lay all around us, but we are unable to see these things if we are not aware of the changes that regularly and mechanically occur all around us.

The following is an excerpt from one of my favorite films entitled The Dutchman. This film was released in 1967. What usually stumps people when viewing this film is the language and the shadowy subject, but minus the “race card” overtones, it really is about how the Satanic Witch is able to manifest an experience. You will note that this “Ishtar” of a woman is able to control the experience without the “special effects” of the paranormal-things moving throughout the space. Life is just as miraculous when you are aware of the inner self. Enjoy!


Self-Remembering In Critical Times

Greetings! Over the past decade we have witnessed an upheaval in the economic global economy. It is during this time that we also find an increase in natural disasters, and while many readers are fortunately not part of the “end of the world” theology, perspectives about our survival are still challenged.

What is amazing about all of this is that the world has seen some beneficial things arise out of conditions previously described. One example of this is seen in the work of G. I. Gurdjieff.  Although it is not discussed in some “occult” circles, but it is useful to observe that while the works of Blavatsky, Crowley, and Gurdjieff are highly revered today, it should also be kept in mind that the brunt of this work was laid down during two world wars.

Outstanding among these is the work of Gurdjieff and his system of inner development, which is widely known as the Fourth Way. The Work Life, written by Beryl Pogson, mentions the following on page 128:

“The Fourth Way is the way of sly man. And the sly man has this special technique so as to be able to walk safely through life without being touched by it.”

While the “New Age” magician finds his glory in a fantasy world, the true adepts sees all things, divine and worldly, in the same space called life.  One of the way of mastering the ‘way of the sly may’ is through self-remembering. Pogson continues on page 129:

“This is one of the simplest forms of self-remembering-remembering your aim.”

The majority of  people living in the world today are preoccupied with the “end of the world,” or the pursuit of being lazy while seeking to fulfill an urge. This is what keeps them enslaved to victim-hood. The simple act of remembering our aims from moment to moment helps us survive in adverse conditions, both economically and spiritually.

Many people have fell into the trap of building their lives around a set of reactions and no proactive philosophy. It is due to such, that these people are under the constant guise of “chance,” not knowing what will come next, while being grounded to the idea of luck. However, how much more can be accomplished while self-remembering our aims.

Noticing how suggestive commands influence people is a very good exercise. If you are on a bus, train, or even driving in traffic, just observe the messages being conveyed by billboard signs and other forms of advertisement. You will notice after a while that these tools “command” people. Exercises such as these, and others found on this site, are excellent tools in amplifying the part of ourselves that is known in some traditions as the “observer.”